The 1970 Lincoln Continental Was a Piece of Fucking Shit

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Re: The 1970 Lincoln Continental Was a Piece of Fucking Shit

Post by 3Flushes » May 23rd 2020, 8:39am

conjurer wrote:
May 22nd 2020, 11:34pm
My granddad had a Chrysler Imperial:

My grandfather drove an Imperial for years- IDR what year, but his last one had an electric rear window and a push button transmission. I think they also put the push button shifter in New Yorkers.

They were great cars, indeed.
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Re: The 1970 Lincoln Continental Was a Piece of Fucking Shit

Post by Hawk » May 23rd 2020, 4:34pm

As much as miss some older cars and appreciate Cod's restos I've never been able to gin up much nostalgia for those '70s behemoths.

I miss '70s American behemoth cars like a miss '50s polio.

From the vinyl tops that quickly looked like tigers fought on it to really bad corrosion resistance, the grace and agility of a Jersey garbage barge, acceleration that could be measured with a calendar, the fuel efficiency of a PT boat combined with the speed of a Roman galleon to a near-criminal waste of space there's just not that much to miss.

I suppose, objectively speaking, a '64 Riviera wasn't better but it seemed to be.

I believe it was Brock Yates that said the difference between a classic car and just an old car is that people lusted after the classic even when it was new. And that's why my '76 Cordoba will never be anything other than an old used car while MB 300SLs couldn't cost any more if they were made out of gold.

I drove one of those Imperials brand new in '71. You didn't so much step on the accelerator than you rang below decks for more steam.
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Re: The 1970 Lincoln Continental Was a Piece of Fucking Shit

Post by 3Flushes » May 23rd 2020, 6:49pm

Hawk wrote:
May 23rd 2020, 4:34pm
As much as miss some older cars and appreciate Cod's restos I've never been able to gin up much nostalgia for those '70s behemoths.

I miss '70s American behemoth cars like a miss '50s polio.

From the vinyl tops that quickly looked like tigers fought on it to really bad corrosion resistance, the grace and agility of a Jersey garbage barge, acceleration that could be measured with a calendar, the fuel efficiency of a PT boat combined with the speed of a Roman galleon to a near-criminal waste of space there's just not that much to miss.

I suppose, objectively speaking, a '64 Riviera wasn't better but it seemed to be.

I believe it was Brock Yates that said the difference between a classic car and just an old car is that people lusted after the classic even when it was new. And that's why my '76 Cordoba will never be anything other than an old used car while MB 300SLs couldn't cost any more if they were made out of gold.

I drove one of those Imperials brand new in '71. You didn't so much step on the accelerator than you rang below decks for more steam.
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Re: The 1970 Lincoln Continental Was a Piece of Fucking Shit

Post by Nuvolari » May 23rd 2020, 9:44pm

Caddy was GM’s luxury barge... and really the world standard for a long time.

Sure, nobody needed a damn limo... they were for fancies who never learned or couldn’t be bothered to drive.

After all, the ‘68 Fleetwood Brougham Sedan DeVille was an owner/drivers’ ‘limo’ in that it had power EVERYTHING - including the rear quarter (“ash”) window - seated 6, cruised along on air suspension, had power disc brakes, a 472 cube V8, and a good-looking well-built Fisher body.

Still, maybe you, your favorite broad, your two ‘associates’ and their favorite broads - instead of you driving - all of you really prefer to get snookered up on the way to the show?

Not to worry, Paisan, GM did allow their Cadillac to offer a sweet limo version of the Fleetwood/Sedan DeVille.

“Handling” just wasn’t GM’s thing... until the Germans started enticing THEIR gawddamn customers with sedans that also accommodated the kids & weekend loot. By the late 60s/early 70s the German appeal presented itself as a antidote to our floaty status quo with sedans that tended to coddle the driver much less while engaging them much more. MUCH more.

Still, before the German sales invasion of the 70s & 80s, that ol’d Caddy floated down the road comfortable, cool, and badass - largely unrivaled except for maybe the right 8.2 litre Eldorado.
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Re: The 1970 Lincoln Continental Was a Piece of Fucking Shit

Post by conjurer » May 23rd 2020, 11:48pm

Nostalgia, somebody smarter than me wrote, is the most insidious of emotions.

I remember being very young, and riding in my granddad's Imperial. Back then, most of the time the Chrysler stayed in the garage, because he had a company car. It was probably in the mid to late sixties, and the back seat was as big as our living room. I was in the middle, and my brother and sister were in the window seats, and naturally, none of us were wearing seatbelts--they might not have even been offered in the car, for all I can recall.

Anyway, we were riding someplace, it was night, and I remember kinda sitting on the transmission hump, and looking up through the windshield at the road signs that were flashing past (and the windshield was 5 inches wider than the Continental!). My granddad, who was the kindest, most warmhearted man I ever knew, was singing along with the radio. I recall my grandmother warning him to take a certain exit, and we must have been on the highway, because the exit signs were so high up.

The ride in the backseat of the Imperial was like a cloud. Even with my brother and sister in the backseat, I wish I had that sort of space flying on United. If we had a ball and a bat, would could have had a baseball game back there.

Then, I saw the exit sign granddad was suppose to take. I suppose I should have said something, but back then, if you were a kid, you kept your trap shut. And, of course, granddad, singing along with the radio, missed the exit.

"Oh, Don!" sighed grandmom.

I don't know about my sister or brother, but I didn't care if granddad had to take the next exit and backtrack, because this was the ride of a lifetime.
My little brain can't even comprehend how deep that is.

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Re: The 1970 Lincoln Continental Was a Piece of Fucking Shit

Post by koimaster » May 24th 2020, 12:43am

3Flushes wrote:
May 23rd 2020, 8:39am
conjurer wrote:
May 22nd 2020, 11:34pm
My granddad had a Chrysler Imperial:

My grandfather drove an Imperial for years- IDR what year, but his last one had an electric rear window and a push button transmission. I think they also put the push button shifter in New Yorkers.

They were great cars, indeed.
My father at one time had a 1960 valiant which had a push butte transmission.


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Re: The 1970 Lincoln Continental Was a Piece of Fucking Shit

Post by Hawk » May 24th 2020, 8:56am

conjurer wrote:
May 23rd 2020, 11:48pm
...
Then, I saw the exit sign granddad was suppose to take. I suppose I should have said something, but back then, if you were a kid, you kept your trap shut. And, of course, granddad, singing along with the radio, missed the exit.
I have a similar memory albeit with a fundamental difference. I was manning the helm on the bridge of the boss's big-ass Imperial on Route 87 and I too didn't see the exit. Well I actually did but no where near when I should have. Not understanding the suicidal nature of what I was about to attempt I ordered both rudders hard over. The sensation was memorable. The entire bulk of the thing listed what seemed to be 30 degrees to port and the coachwork and upper decks seemed to move about a yard to the left of the keel and boiler room. Even worse the ship was approaching a 15mph curve on the off ramp at about 60mph according to the instruments - there was no physical evidence of speed apart from the squealing rubber and cacophony of tortured metal as it navigated a turn more appropriate to a contemporary Spridgit.

Ordering "All Stop!" from the bridge the over-boosted, novocaine-numb hydraulics immediately locked up all four wheels and I started pumping the brakes like I had been taught in the North Country was the proper response to finding oneself on a lake-sized patch of ice - though I was on nice sticky asphalt. This, I thought, must be like being caught helpless on a runaway train. Nevertheless the barge continued to grudgingly shed velocity and managed to keep all its paint intact through the course of the 180 degree ramp's guard rails. After which I ran a stop light then pulled into a parking lot to reassemble the shattered remnants of my composure. I needed a drink.

I reported an uneventful completion of the errand and added "nice car, boss." as I dropped anchor at the workplace - any other response being deemed a career-limiting move.

"Never fucking again" I vowed. My wife eventually bought a Cordoba around '76 but I avoided it like the plague. I finally relented in 2008 with a Caddy CTS which to my pleasant surprise was actually very competent at the tasks to which an automobile might be assigned. It's amazing how much those fuckers learned in 40 years - I suppose they didn't have a choice as their target market had, well, died. I still think of the ought-eight Caddy fondly though I'm very happy with the Z4.

Those damn '70s can stay right where they are. As I recall all of Detroit went fucking crazy with morbidly obese being a thing - they even managed to fuck up the Thunderbird.

Your granddad may well have saved your life that day. It was fortunate you didn't point out an opportunity to make an exit that should be left alone.
And the fact I'm still living rent free in his head makes me grin and giggle.
...bobbee
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