Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

From movies to your mother-in-law, put it here and try not to hurt each other
Post Reply
User avatar
conjurer
ASSHAT & Master of Time
Posts: 30840
Joined: July 13th 2010, 10:00pm
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by conjurer » March 24th 2020, 10:41pm

foghorn wrote:
March 24th 2020, 6:30pm
Liquor stores are up there in Mass. too.
Thank God!!
Got a call from my Doc today to remind me that due to age, medications, recent medical history, that I'm in the "vulnerable" group. So now my wife will be doing the shopping.
I will venture out one more time to stock up on booze. That'll be too heavy for her to carry.
Thanks, foggy. You're a real human being.

Interestingly, my store closed today for at least two weeks. I drove home, apart from a stop at the local booze store. I asked the clerk, are you closing? He said no, so I bought only one bottle. You know, just to stock up. Hoarding is such a negative word.
My little brain can't even comprehend how deep that is.

--beefsupreme, commenting on his super rare Deep Blue wartche

**(@
User avatar
MAX (Online)
Founding Member & Master of Time
Posts: 972
Joined: May 23rd 2013, 10:00pm
Facebook ID: 0
Location: Too Far South, Floriduh
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by MAX » March 25th 2020, 4:51am

Seems to me a lot of those remaining open are hot spots. Banks and money, gas pumps for instance.

Havent been out of the house since last Wednesday since my gym closed and I can feel it. Closing the liquor stores would cause riots.
NRPI here.

“Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”
User avatar
gerdson
Master of Time
Posts: 2513
Joined: January 7th 2013, 11:00pm
Facebook ID: 0
Location: Just north of Northern Krautland
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by gerdson » March 25th 2020, 5:37am

You can always drink all the hand disinfectant, that You managed to hoard... if You managed to hoard any. In fact, there was a guy just last week, over at "Esbjerg hospital" here in southern Denmark, 50 year old alcoholic, who was thrown out of hospital because he managed to consume so much of it, that he really got drunk.
Ardnut since 1989

In twenty years or so, the German language will be one, massively long compound word.
-- conjurer
User avatar
foghorn (Online)
Founding Member & Master of Time
Posts: 20123
Joined: December 18th 2009, 11:00pm
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by foghorn » March 25th 2020, 5:39am

MAX wrote:
March 25th 2020, 4:51am
Seems to me a lot of those remaining open are hot spots. Banks and money, gas pumps for instance.

Havent been out of the house since last Wednesday since my gym closed and I can feel it. Closing the liquor stores would cause riots.

Most banks here are making the ATMs available but you need to make an appointment for any business requiring human interaction in order to go inside. I got gas a few days ago and used disinfectant on the pump and keypad before using and then again on my hands after. Can't be too careful. I'm not scared of dying, but suffocating sounds like a tough way to opt out.
Image
User avatar
gerdson
Master of Time
Posts: 2513
Joined: January 7th 2013, 11:00pm
Facebook ID: 0
Location: Just north of Northern Krautland
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by gerdson » March 25th 2020, 5:41am

To add to the bad news, here in Denmark, but also in Germany, companies producing liquor have started to produce disinfectant instead. So if You are fond of "Jägermeister" or "Ålborg Jubilæumsakvavit", then You may soon find Yourself having troubles sourcing any.
Ardnut since 1989

In twenty years or so, the German language will be one, massively long compound word.
-- conjurer
User avatar
koimaster
Administrator/Founder
Posts: 39800
Joined: December 16th 2009, 11:00pm
Location: Oregon, Thanks for visiting! Now go back home!
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by koimaster » March 25th 2020, 11:03pm

B4ED124B-E610-479F-A2D6-E37E2094383F.jpeg
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
Image

1946-2006

“Your heart was warm and happy

With the lilt of Irish laughter

Every day and in every way

Now forever and ever after."
User avatar
bbattle
Member
Posts: 667
Joined: July 11th 2019, 2:51pm
Facebook ID: 0
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by bbattle » March 27th 2020, 3:57am

Falstaff wrote:
March 26th 2020, 11:25am
12. Wipe hands on pants.
Don't you hate it when you use somebody's bathroom and the missus has put out all these fancy towels that you don't dare touch so you wind up wiping your hands on your pants?

You know, once this coronasteria dies down, there's going to be so much alcohol around these distillers will create new wine coolers in order to deplete their stocks. Can't wait till the kiddies throw their Covid coolers all over the neighborhood.
User avatar
biglove
Watchlord WIS
Posts: 13331
Joined: October 27th 2013, 9:18am
Facebook ID: 0
Location: Deep South
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by biglove » March 27th 2020, 5:19pm

“Show towels/show soap.” Grew up with that bullshit and hated it.

Wife knows better but she does have this thing about making the bed with a cover I refuse to sleep under and 17 pillows that are “pretty.” Pretty damned uncomfortable.

I just push them all over on her side for nap time. Blocks the sun so they do have a useful purpose for me. 😂
"I'll give you 5 bucks to spank me with a dead duck!"-Mike Rowe, Dirty Jobs
User avatar
biglove
Watchlord WIS
Posts: 13331
Joined: October 27th 2013, 9:18am
Facebook ID: 0
Location: Deep South
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by biglove » March 27th 2020, 11:13pm

bbattle wrote:
March 27th 2020, 5:23pm
17 pillows! And I thought I had it bad with 9.
It has varied from 10-12 over the years but something about me calling it “17” makes the wife bristle so I have stuck to that number. She is adorable when she is angry. Adorable and a bit scary but that gives me the fearful giggles. 😂
"I'll give you 5 bucks to spank me with a dead duck!"-Mike Rowe, Dirty Jobs
User avatar
biglove
Watchlord WIS
Posts: 13331
Joined: October 27th 2013, 9:18am
Facebook ID: 0
Location: Deep South
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by biglove » March 28th 2020, 7:50am

3Flushes wrote:
March 28th 2020, 7:29am
2 pillows on the bed and a roll of paper towel in the guest john over here.
You, sir, are a Viking!

That’s what I am talking about!
"I'll give you 5 bucks to spank me with a dead duck!"-Mike Rowe, Dirty Jobs
User avatar
conjurer
ASSHAT & Master of Time
Posts: 30840
Joined: July 13th 2010, 10:00pm
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by conjurer » March 28th 2020, 7:54am

To steer this thread back on topic and away from Very Important Issues like how many fucking pillows our wives put on beds, your humble correspondent has started to take daily walks.

What?? Conjurer, taking fucking walks?? Never Conjurer, goddamn you!!

Before all this shit went down, I was of the opinion that people took walks to go someplace and that they were too poor to afford a car. Also, I'm on my feet all day, running around the store, so the idea that I'd hoist my enormous, dimpled ass out of my La-Z-Boy to walk around outside was, frankly, nutty. But, around two in the afternoon, I start getting minor cabin fever, so I go outside and take a short walk.

It's only for twenty minutes or so, but I get some fresh air, and it keeps me from climbing the fucking walls.

That is all.
My little brain can't even comprehend how deep that is.

--beefsupreme, commenting on his super rare Deep Blue wartche

**(@
User avatar
foghorn (Online)
Founding Member & Master of Time
Posts: 20123
Joined: December 18th 2009, 11:00pm
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by foghorn » March 28th 2020, 8:03am

There are a lot more people doing the same thing.
We walk early every day before the masses take to the streets. Better for social distancing, which is a new term for many but I've been doing it for some time.
After 46 years in the service industry I learned that,for the most part, people suck and are best avoided.
Image
User avatar
gerdson
Master of Time
Posts: 2513
Joined: January 7th 2013, 11:00pm
Facebook ID: 0
Location: Just north of Northern Krautland
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by gerdson » March 28th 2020, 10:46am

conjurer wrote:
March 28th 2020, 7:54am
To steer this thread back on topic and away from Very Important Issues like how many fucking pillows our wives put on beds, your humble correspondent has started to take daily walks.

What?? Conjurer, taking fucking walks?? Never Conjurer, goddamn you!!

Before all this shit went down, I was of the opinion that people took walks to go someplace and that they were too poor to afford a car. Also, I'm on my feet all day, running around the store, so the idea that I'd hoist my enormous, dimpled ass out of my La-Z-Boy to walk around outside was, frankly, nutty. But, around two in the afternoon, I start getting minor cabin fever, so I go outside and take a short walk.

It's only for twenty minutes or so, but I get some fresh air, and it keeps me from climbing the fucking walls.

That is all.
Yuo auto gat uRselff a dododobahman. And seNn uCan wawk 3 tYmez add ay.
Ardnut since 1989

In twenty years or so, the German language will be one, massively long compound word.
-- conjurer
User avatar
MAX (Online)
Founding Member & Master of Time
Posts: 972
Joined: May 23rd 2013, 10:00pm
Facebook ID: 0
Location: Too Far South, Floriduh
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by MAX » March 28th 2020, 11:34am

For better exercise I usually strap a weight to my waist when we walk every night. Helps with social distancing also.

My Beretta weighs the most.
NRPI here.

“Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.”
User avatar
biglove
Watchlord WIS
Posts: 13331
Joined: October 27th 2013, 9:18am
Facebook ID: 0
Location: Deep South
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by biglove » March 28th 2020, 11:57am

MAX wrote:
March 28th 2020, 11:34am
For better exercise I usually strap a weight to my waist when we walk every night. Helps with social distancing also.

My Beretta weighs the most.
At times I add the weight of a Springfield XD 45, myself. Usually not though as my ample gut is enough weight to carry around.
"I'll give you 5 bucks to spank me with a dead duck!"-Mike Rowe, Dirty Jobs
User avatar
bbattle
Member
Posts: 667
Joined: July 11th 2019, 2:51pm
Facebook ID: 0
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by bbattle » March 29th 2020, 7:25am

There's definitely a lot more outdoor activity going on since this virus thing started. Kids everywhere, riding their bikes, running around screaming and stuff. That is so much better than them cooped up in the house while momma has got the DT's.

It's been 30 hours since they closed the liquor stores here. While I always keep enough on hand for "emergencies"; if this drags on much longer, I'll have to figure out what else I can mix that bottle of Drambui with.
User avatar
bobbee
Master of Time
Posts: 2890
Joined: November 30th 2016, 1:01am
Facebook ID: 0
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by bobbee » March 29th 2020, 8:42am

gerdson wrote:
March 28th 2020, 10:46am
conjurer wrote:
March 28th 2020, 7:54am
To steer this thread back on topic and away from Very Important Issues like how many fucking pillows our wives put on beds, your humble correspondent has started to take daily walks.

What?? Conjurer, taking fucking walks?? Never Conjurer, goddamn you!!

Before all this shit went down, I was of the opinion that people took walks to go someplace and that they were too poor to afford a car. Also, I'm on my feet all day, running around the store, so the idea that I'd hoist my enormous, dimpled ass out of my La-Z-Boy to walk around outside was, frankly, nutty. But, around two in the afternoon, I start getting minor cabin fever, so I go outside and take a short walk.

It's only for twenty minutes or so, but I get some fresh air, and it keeps me from climbing the fucking walls.

That is all.
Yuo auto gat uRselff a dododobahman. And seNn uCan wawk 3 tYmez add ay.

Hee lykes two blow dem.
Up aye meen.
User avatar
bobbee
Master of Time
Posts: 2890
Joined: November 30th 2016, 1:01am
Facebook ID: 0
Contact:

Re: Why COVID-19 Can Suck My Motherfucking Dick

Post by bobbee » March 29th 2020, 8:46am

bbattle wrote:
March 29th 2020, 7:25am
There's definitely a lot more outdoor activity going on since this virus thing started. Kids everywhere, riding their bikes, running around screaming and stuff. That is so much better than them cooped up in the house while momma has got the DT's.

It's been 30 hours since they closed the liquor stores here. While I always keep enough on hand for "emergencies"; if this drags on much longer, I'll have to figure out what else I can mix that bottle of Drambui with.
Cheap scotch is the best mixer for Drambuie.
AKA The Rusty Nail.
Post Reply

Return to “Anything and Everything Else”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: SurferJohn, svaglic and 0 guests