Why, I don't really fit into that scheme. The first watch I've bought was a Timex Expedition, then I had an Atlantic quartz, two heirloom Soviet watches (Start and Raketa), two Swatches, a cheap Lorus (at the lowest end of what Seiko has to offer), even - aaarghhh - two Fossils. Then I received an Edox for my 18th, then I bought the 1939 Tissot at the flea market, and so it went on and on.
I don't like being called an "expert", as that puts me in the same bucket as those who proclaim themselves experts. Been called that at WUS, and all I could say was "please don't", because that's WUS, and at WUS you can't even tell people to fuck off, when they need to be told to fuck off.
I was never obsessed with Seiko, I don't think that TAG Heuer makes shitty watches, haven't owned any of the "shitty Swiss" sort, I never had a Rolex.
I might be the Vintage Bloke alright, but not the sort mentioned on this diagram. "It's vintage, bitch!" sounds like one of those pretentious Jessie boys, who tag their blurry photos on Instagram with #hodinkee, so that - hopefully, they think - some intern at the Donkey Den, tasked with scrolling and "liking", will jerk them off with a press of the "like" button.
As for "smartass", dunno. I certainly did put smartasses in their place on a few occasions, but really dunno if that makes me "not a smartass" or just a higher class of smartass.
"Been there." Well, we've all been somewhere, be it here, there, or anywhere, at some point.
"Settle with 'the one' " or "three-watch collection" load of bollocks doesn't sing to me. So, fuck that shite.
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.
I'd send them all an animated gif of Ron Jeremy sucking his own cock.
Conjurer, of people asking about their Doxas