- Master of Time
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That's because - just today - the Donkeys have announced this:
Aaaaarghhh, rant-worthy stuff again. But since it's the Crusaders' Den, let me put it this way - the game's afoot; follow your spirit, and upon this charge...
In fact, we hope that the move we are announcing today will actually increase transparency about our relationships with watch brands and other players in the industry. You know who we work with, you know who we don't – it's up to you to decide what to read, but we've found that the vast majority of our readership simply loves the content that we produce. If you're a fan of great writing, great photography, and great videos, get ready for some special things coming your way very soon.
Ummm, how the fuck does becoming an AD increase transparency? How the fuck do they expect anyone to believe, that a review is impartial? Reviews of any watches by companies whose products they retail, and, in fact, any coverage of these companies, can't be considered anything but an advertorial now. Not that they haven't always had the industry, ummm, penetrate them, but this is a step further. Now the industry went in so deep, that not even Ron Jeremy could pull off something like that.
Also, I am a "fan of great writing", which means that I just can't like the Donkeys. Not in a thousand bloody years.
We will continue to write about things we like and ignore the rest, just as we always have.
Liking something and being told to like something are two very different things, and they're a million fucking miles apart.
And those fantastic editors that you love so much will never be told to write (or not write) anything at all, just as it is today.
Of course they won't be. They'll be simply told, "you know what to do", and they will know what this means. And it will mean, that an unfavourable review will be met with no watches to review, and a farewell to factory visits and Baselworld press passes.
We were told that after reading HODINKEE, few watch salespeople could even hold a conversation with these customers about the latest releases. In most cases, people expressed frustration that they were buying a watch from someone who simply didn't care as much or know the first thing about what they were selling.
Given the level of knowledge presented by Hoodwinkee, and that'd be a level lower than the bottom of the Mariana Trench, this speaks worse of salespeople than I could possibly imagine.
In addition to category-leading photography, each watch features an in-depth description written by an actual watch expert – someone who knows how to frame a piece in the proper context of watch buying.
If they are the same "experts" that the Shop had so far, that's grim fucking news for the customers, and more laughs for me.
But this is us, so we'll tell you what it is and what it isn't, always
With how many times the Donkeys told people what a particular watch is, and actually what even by a long shot it fucking wasn't, this sounds quite delusional.
We've seen that the watch world is not invincible, so let's make sure we push each other to make the whole industry more inviting, friendly, and enjoyable. I don't think anyone can argue with that.
Oh yes, I can bloody argue, and I will. Of course it's not invincible, thanks to the Donkeys the vintage watch market's FUBAR. Also, how's turning a news outlet into a full-time advertorial site, and thus into a lapdog of the manufacturers, making the industry more friendly and enjoyable? Fuck me!
By Jove! So, just in case someone has believed in Donkey journalism being any good, that'd be the nail to the coffin of whatever limited notion of ethics in journalism they used to have.
I'd send them all an animated gif of Ron Jeremy sucking his own cock.
Conjurer, of people asking about their Doxas