I'd say an Invicter Venom would be right up your alley, if you will. Thick as a fucking brick, available in "as black as the Earl of Hell's riding boots" PVD finish, plenty of "road hugging" (slogan worked well for Ford!) weight, at least 50mm of testosterone pumped, lubricious female attracting wrist coverage, Swiss-ish made, as manly as a pair of functional testicles and a 5 year non-coverage warranty. Why the name itself - VENOM - just drips with "don't tread on me" machismo. Pay no attention to those metrosexual haters (this fucking forum is full of 'em) with their lightweight, effeminate 40-49mm Eurotrash watches - or those slick anime-loving wannabe Japanese fanbois with their Seikos, Citizens and Orients (remember Pearl Harbor). Man up - get a Venom, godammit.
"And in the space of one hour is Babylon the Great thrown down. Not a stone remains standing upon stone - the smoke of her burning does blot out the sun and the reek thereof lies as a deadly pestilence upon the land. Alas Babylon...."