a bit of humor

From movies to your mother-in-law, put it here and try not to hurt each other
Post Reply
User avatar
koimaster (Online)
Posts: 46097
Joined: December 16th 2009, 11:00pm
Location: Oregon, Thanks for visiting! Now go back home!

a bit of humor

Post by koimaster » May 10th 2022, 2:00pm

An Irishman walks into a Dublin pub and orders three pints of Guinness.

He takes them to a table and takes a drink from each one, alternating mugs until all of them are empty.
He comes back the next week and does the same. Three pints and takes a drink from each until they are all gone.
The third time he comes in the barman, curious, asks why he drinks like that.

"Oh it's for my brother's, Liam recently moved to the USA, and Sean moved to Australia, so we don't get to see each other very often. We made a pact that every week we would go to a pub at 7:00 on Wednesday and drink for each other."
"That's lovely." Says the barman and wishes him well.

This continues for several years and the Irishman becomes something of a celebrity as the story circulates among the other regulars. He becomes known as 3 pints man.

Until one night, the man comes in and orders two pints. A hush falls over the bar as they watch him take his drinks and continue alternating like always but with a pint missing.

The barman, who first asked him about the tradition feels compelled to go over.
"I'm so sorry for your loss," he says pointing at the pints.
Confused the Irishman looks at him before laughing and saying, "No, we're all fine. I just gave up drinking for Lent."

3 couples, one in their 20's, one in their 40's, and one in their 60's were applying to a church for membership. The pastor sat with them and explained they would have to undergo a chastity test and agree to refrain from sex for 30 days. They all agreed.

A month later they all got together to meet with the pastor and discuss how they did.

The 60's couple went first. They said that they were content to hold hands and sit near each other and were able to make it 30 days without sex. The pastor congratulated them.

Next was the couple in their 40's. The husband mentioned that the first 3 weeks weren't really a struggle, but the last week was a little rough, but they successfully made it once he took matters into his own hands. The pastor smiled and congratulated them.

Then the couple in their 20's went. The husband said it was rough from day one, but they had made it 3 and a half weeks when one day he saw her bent over in front of the freezer and he couldn't resist. The pastor thanked them for their truthfulness but said that they didn't pass the test and would not be allowed church membership. At this point, the young wife speaks up and says, "That's okay. What's worse is we can never go back to that grocery store."

A doctor had sex with one of his female patients
and felt guilty for a very long time afterward.

No matter how hard he tried to forget about it,
he just couldn't. The guilt and sense of having
betrayed his patient were overwhelming.

Every now and then he'd hear a reassuring voice
in his head that said: "Don't worry about it. You
aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex
with one of his patients and you won't be the last.
Besides, you're single. C'mon, just let it go."

But, invariably, another voice in his head would
bring him back to reality, whispering . . .

"You're a veterinarian, you sick bastard."


“Your heart was warm and happy

With the lilt of Irish laughter

Every day and in every way

Now forever and ever after."
Post Reply

Return to “Anything and Everything Else”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: SurferJohn and 1 guest