Advice...

From movies to your mother-in-law, put it here and try not to hurt each other
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biglove (Online)
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Advice...

Post by biglove » September 2nd 2020, 7:27pm

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"I believe in a God who doesn't need heavy financing." Irwin M. Fletcher, Fletch Lives, 1989
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conjurer
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Re: Advice...

Post by conjurer » September 2nd 2020, 7:40pm

When taking a shit in a public restroom, never assume there will be enough paper.
I find tv watches to be like the guys who raise their truck you need a fricken ladder to get in. It’s a attempt to look cool... that’s all.

--Hawkeye
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Re: Advice...

Post by AlbertaTime » September 2nd 2020, 8:09pm

You don't want all the business. You want the profitable business. Everyone else, you want them to go to your competitors.
Curator: Alberta Museum of Chinese Horology in Peace River

"That stone buddha deserves all the birdshit it gets. I wave my skinny arms like a tall flower in the wind." Ikkyu
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Re: Advice...

Post by TemerityB » September 2nd 2020, 8:48pm

Advice in 2020. Hmm...

Turn off the TV.
WatchGeeks will go down in watch forum history as the worst watch related site that existed. Trolls, threats, bannings, and owners and sponsors talking out of their collective asses to fleece people out of hard earned money. - Koimaster
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Hawk
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Re: Advice...

Post by Hawk » September 3rd 2020, 5:36am

An ageless classic, right up there with Polonius advice to Laertes:
You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here.
Deteriorata. Deteriorata.

Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss, and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do.
Wherever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
and despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.

Remember The Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you -
That lemon on your left, for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore. It will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan.
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.
For a good time, call 606-4311. Ask for Ken.
Take heart in the bedeepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese.
And reflect that whatever fortune may be your lot,
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.

You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.

Therefore, make peace with your god,
Whatever you perceive him to be - hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
The world continues to deteriorate.

Give up!
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svaglic (Online)
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Re: Advice...

Post by svaglic » September 3rd 2020, 6:13am

You don't tug on Superman's cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the Ole Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim
You can have brains or you can have beauty, but you can’t have all three.
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Re: Advice...

Post by Falstaff » September 3rd 2020, 10:49am

Don't annoy your cat!
Be sure to say "thank you" after getting a blow job.
Always wipe off the neck of the bottle after drinking from it when you hand it to a lady.
"Open the pod bay doors, Hal." "I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."
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biglove (Online)
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Re: Advice...

Post by biglove » September 3rd 2020, 12:17pm

1-“Hookers and blow” is not as fun as it sounds. Ok, that’s a lie. Sorry.

2-If she wants you to take her to a strip club, she’s a keeper for the sex but she will never just f**k you, she will always have a side dude/chic.
"I believe in a God who doesn't need heavy financing." Irwin M. Fletcher, Fletch Lives, 1989
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svaglic (Online)
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Re: Advice...

Post by svaglic » September 5th 2020, 1:36pm

If there’s anything I’ve learned in my 30 years of life, it’s o.k to fib about your age.
You can have brains or you can have beauty, but you can’t have all three.
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biglove (Online)
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Re: Advice...

Post by biglove » September 5th 2020, 4:37pm

svaglic wrote:
September 5th 2020, 1:36pm
If there’s anything I’ve learned in my 30 years of life, it’s o.k to fib about your age.
😂
My wife feels the same.
"I believe in a God who doesn't need heavy financing." Irwin M. Fletcher, Fletch Lives, 1989
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Nuvolari
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Re: Advice...

Post by Nuvolari » September 5th 2020, 4:57pm

Confucius say, “Elevator smell different to midget!”
“Could somebody please let me know what the fuck is going on here?? It's like walking into the local Safeway to do some grocery shopping and finding a bunch of ghey midgets cornholing each other in the produce department.” - Conjurer

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