Asshole No More!

From movies to your mother-in-law, put it here and try not to hurt each other
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Tzimisces

Re: Asshole No More!

Post by Tzimisces » August 4th 2013, 6:15am

Huh. I thought you were getting a colostomy bag. Glad to hear your actual asshole is doing fine.
Last edited by Tzimisces on August 4th 2013, 1:42pm, edited 1 time in total.
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conjurer
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Re: Asshole No More!

Post by conjurer » August 4th 2013, 1:41pm

Mortuus wrote:
conjurer wrote:
Mortuus wrote:Lemme guess, Conj; they finally caught you stalking Susan Boyle's cat, trying to ingratiate yourself to her kitty in the hopes of finally meeting her and engaging in Heineken bottle sex...and so fourth...

 
Yóu ąrę rłght, yóu dąmńęd ółd goat.  Ćóńjuręr łś ą śłćk, hątęfuł bąśtąrd, by gółły!  Óńę tłmę hę stuffed ą Hęłńękęń bóttłę up my hęłńęy, góddąmn łt!!

Perhaps he did this because you did the old "exploding-ass" on his personal 'thunderbox' when you knew he was coming home, in a hurry to beat his plaguing after-work squirts in the daily race to his one-and-only 'oval office'...only to have to see what you'd done...you're lucky to be alive, Babushka...


Indeed he is; they released me from the clinic after--well, after the check I wrote to cover the fee bounced like a member of the Wallenda family--and found Stash, smoking my cigars, drinking my booze, and worst yet, tossing off to some of my vintage and Very Valuable Swedish Erotica porn magazines. Needless to say, I gave him a damned good thrashing.
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Re: Asshole No More!

Post by TemerityB » August 4th 2013, 4:30pm

conjurer wrote:Found Stash, smoking my cigars, drinking my booze, and worst yet, tossing off to some of my vintage and Very Valuable Swedish Erotica porn magazines.  Needless to say, I gave him a damned good thrashing.


Wait, what - Swedish Erotica made mags as well as videos????

I need your phone number, and I need to know if you have broadband.
"Funny how things that start spontaneously end that way. Eat a peach." - Neil Young
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conjurer
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Re: Asshole No More!

Post by conjurer » August 4th 2013, 4:34pm

TemerityB wrote:
conjurer wrote:Found Stash, smoking my cigars, drinking my booze, and worst yet, tossing off to some of my vintage and Very Valuable Swedish Erotica porn magazines.  Needless to say, I gave him a damned good thrashing.


Wait, what - Swedish Erotica made mags as well as videos????

I need your phone number, and I need to know if you have broadband.


Yup. Back in the glory days of the late 70s and early 80s; when Mike Ranger cornholed Desiree Cousteau, and John Leslie blasted money shots all over Aunt Peg's delightful countenance. These are fragrant flowers, to be lovingly pressed into the Book of Memory. Or, more precisely, Mammaries.
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3Flushes
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Re: Asshole No More!

Post by 3Flushes » August 4th 2013, 10:44pm

conjurer wrote:...they released me from the clinic after--well, after the check I wrote to cover the fee bounced like a member of the Wallenda family...


That son of a bitch freakin medical whore for the money. That's all it about for some of those guys. Money, money, money. We take cards. PM me.
Last edited by Anonymous on August 5th 2013, 12:07am, edited 1 time in total.
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gerdson
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Re: Asshole No More!

Post by gerdson » August 4th 2013, 10:49pm

Hm... I am not sure this is only about the money. Guess they also figured out, he is beyond repair. I mean - why ruin Your good reputation as a clinic? It would be pathetic. (This sentence makes no sense in this context, but I love the word "pathetic").

Btw, conjurer, can I have Your phone number, too? I could also translate the Swedish texts into German.
Last edited by Anonymous on August 5th 2013, 3:53am, edited 2 times in total.
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Watch Noob

Re: Asshole No More!

Post by Watch Noob » August 5th 2013, 2:03am

Ahhh yes, Swedish Erotica came at the perfect time when I was a teen back in the late 70's and early 80's. It's a wonder I'm not blind.
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MAX
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Re: Asshole No More!

Post by MAX » August 5th 2013, 2:56am

found Stash, smoking my cigars, drinking my booze, and worst yet, tossing off to some of my vintage and Very Valuable Swedish Erotica porn magazines. Needless to say, I gave him a damned good thrashing.


Wow, poor Stash, glad I left before you got back and you discovered I had drank all of your Absinthe.

Didnt know you knew my Aunt Peg.
NRPI here.

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Mortuus Fakeuus

Re: Asshole No More!

Post by Mortuus Fakeuus » August 5th 2013, 3:11am

I knew yore Aunt Peg, oh yeah, baby...cue the musack, boyz... bomp-chicka-bow-wow Image
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conjurer
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Re: Asshole No More!

Post by conjurer » May 18th 2022, 11:56am

Mortuus Fakeuus wrote:
August 5th 2013, 3:11am
I knew yore Aunt Peg, oh yeah, baby...cue the musack, boyz... bomp-chicka-bow-wow Image
I'm glad you bumped this old thread, Alain; if for nothing more than allowing us to see one of very many elegant and thoughtful posts by Mort.
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