Watches for Diplomats?

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jimmythor

Watches for Diplomats?

Post by jimmythor » March 20th 2013, 11:31pm

We are looking out for diplomatic suppliers who can supply Luxury watches to our diplomatic missions around the world. Please provide me some suggestions.
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Laid_Back_Dude

Re: Watches for Diplomats?

Post by Laid_Back_Dude » March 21st 2013, 1:20am

Laid_Back_Dude wrote:Who is "We" ?
Last edited by Laid_Back_Dude on March 21st 2013, 4:41am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: delete
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Re: Watches for Diplomats?

Post by Horse Feathers » March 21st 2013, 6:48am

jimmythor wrote:We are looking out for diplomatic suppliers who can supply Luxury watches to our diplomatic missions around the world. Please provide me some suggestions.


I would contact Invicta, they are the worlds largest watch company. Additionally this would provide them with a common enemy/adversary offering the opportunity for relationship building and a common outlet for hostility
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Re: Watches for Diplomats?

Post by Falstaff » March 21st 2013, 7:45am

jimmythor wrote:We are looking out for diplomatic suppliers who can supply Luxury watches to our diplomatic missions around the world. Please provide me some suggestions.


Esteemed sir,

We here at Merde' Freres et Cie have an illustrious history of service to the diplomatic community. Our firm began as joallier horlogerie to the Court of the most gracious, but unfortunate Louis XVI, supplying him with the clocks and watches he so enjoyed amusing himself with as well as furnishing the renowned Montre bracelet d'Amour by which his equally unfortunate Queen, Marie Antoinette timed the King's "Acts of Royal Duty" upon her person.

Further, we supplied the Cardinals Richelieu and Mazarin as well as Foreign Minister M. de Talleyrand with timepieces of unparalleled richness, beauty and accuracy particularly noted for their amusing and complex minute repetier automaton movements depicting the Sultan of Turkey disporting himself with a young boy of great beauty and substantial endowment.

At a somewhat later period in our history, Merde' Freres et Cie, having weathered the storm of the Revolution, and having acquired the discrete patronage of the Emperor Napoleon I, his Queen, Josephine (who notably desired timepieces that were bigger, thicker, longer and possessed vibrating alarms), Marshal Ney, The Dauphin and ultimately His Imperial Majesty Louis Napoleon, began to branch out doing business across the Continent and England. Notable patrons from this time period include Prince Metternich, HRH Prince Albert, The Duke of Wellington, The Dowager Empress Marie Feodorovna of Russia, His Majesty Frederick William IV of Prussia and particularly His Imperial Highness, Crown Prince Francis Joseph of Austria-Hungary who liked nothing more than a simple pocketwatch of solid gold decorated with handpainted (by Ingres') scenes of rustic shepherds frolicking naked amongst their flocks.

Just before the Great War, our firm flourished with the patronage of no less than 5 crowned heads: Edward VII of England (noted for his unique order of a watch with the dial decorated with the nude figure of a very limber Lily Langtry in which the hands were shaped and painted like her legs), Kaiser Wilhelm II (preferred a portrait of Prince Eulenberg depicted as an odalisque), Nicholas, Tsar of all the Russias (a piece of the True Cross inlaid over the manhood of a depiction of a handsome young sailor), the aforementioned Francis Joseph - now Kaiser Francis Joseph II, and The Sultan Abdul Hamid of the Ottoman Empire (whose interesting preference was for a solid platinum watch thickly crusted with diamonds and jewels and carried in a case of softest suede made from the foreskins of Christian babies slaughtered solely by his own hand). During this period, we supplied timepieces as well to Prince von Bismarck, Prince Potemkin, Prime Minister Lord Salisbury, Transvaal President Paul Krueger, Prime Minister Delcasse', and even Americans such as J.P. Morgan, Cornelius Vanderbilt and particularly John D. Rockefeller (we were fortunately able to accomodate his request to leave enough room in the watch case to place the heart of a young orphan boy).

The post-war years were a period of unprecedented growth for Merde' Freres et Cie, with our fame and reputation for discretion resulting in being named Horloger Particulaire to the both the Quai d'Orsay and the Court of St. James, supplying their separate Corps Diplomatique with the finest grade of watches.

A particularly unfortunate period ensued after the Fall of France in 1941 when the firm was forcibly relocated to Vichy where special order timepieces were constructed under threat of force majeure for Reichsmarschall Goering, Dr. Goebbels, Foreign Minister Ribbentrop, Rudolf Hess and Reichsfuhrer SS Heinrich Himmler. Reichsmarschall Goering's watch was notable for its hidden compartment housing a razor blade and small mirror.

After the War, the firm struggled to maintain its footing in the ruins of Europe and began to cast its net further abroad into Africa and Asia, securing the sole franchise to supply luxury timepieces to King Baudoin's Belgian Congo Colonial Administration, King Farouk of Egypt, Ali Khan and King Ibn Saud as well as the King of Thailand, Chiang Kai Shek and the Indochine' Francais.

Our reputation for the utmost discretion and outstanding quality remains our hallmark even today, where we have supplied fine timepieces to the last 6 Presidential Administrations (excluding those of Geo. W. Bush, who couldn't tell time), Potentates, Heads of State, Captains of Industry and the wealthy glitterati of a hundred nations.

Kind sir, allow the proud firm of Merde' Freres et Cie to serve you in the capacity of the supply of fine luxury timepieces to your Corps Diplomatique. We are abundantly equipped to supply any amount of the finest luxury brands to any destination whatsoever. The names alone of these luxury brands attest to their unparalleled quality:
Ralex
Patek Phillip
Vasheron Constantine
Jaeger LeColter
Hubcap
Girard Pairagoats
Carter
Omiga
and many others.

Your slightest request is our command.
Please contact us at your earliest opportunity. We await your custom.

Claude Pis-Vinaigre, Managing Director, Merde' Freres et Cie.
13 Rue Jaquemoff , Paris
"Who are you?" "I am the new Number Two." "Who is Number One?" "You are Number Six."
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Re: Watches for Diplomats?

Post by conjurer » March 21st 2013, 7:53am

Falstaff wrote:
jimmythor wrote:We are looking out for diplomatic suppliers who can supply Luxury watches to our diplomatic missions around the world. Please provide me some suggestions.


Esteemed sir,

We here at Merde' Freres et Cie have an illustrious history of service to the diplomatic community. Our firm began as joallier horlogerie to the Court of the most gracious, but unfortunate Louis XVI, supplying him with the clocks and watches he so enjoyed amusing himself with as well as furnishing the renowned Montre bracelet d'Amour by which his equally unfortunate Queen, Marie Antoinette timed the King's "Acts of Royal Duty" upon her person.

Further, we supplied the Cardinals Richelieu and Mazarin as well as Foreign Minister M. de Talleyrand with timepieces of unparalleled richness, beauty and accuracy particularly noted for their amusing and complex minute repetier automaton movements depicting the Sultan of Turkey disporting himself with a young boy of great beauty and substantial endowment.

At a somewhat later period in our history, Merde' Freres et Cie, having weathered the storm of the Revolution, and having acquired the discrete patronage of the Emperor Napoleon I, his Queen, Josephine (who notably desired timepieces that were bigger, thicker, longer and possessed vibrating alarms), Marshal Ney, The Dauphin and ultimately His Imperial Majesty Louis Napoleon, began to branch out doing business across the Continent and England. Notable patrons from this time period include Prince Metternich, HRH Prince Albert, The Duke of Wellington, The Dowager Empress Marie Feodorovna of Russia, His Majesty Frederick William IV of Prussia and particularly His Imperial Highness, Crown Prince Francis Joseph of Austria-Hungary who liked nothing more than a simple pocketwatch of solid gold decorated with handpainted (by Ingres') scenes of rustic shepherds frolicking naked amongst their flocks.

Just before the Great War, our firm flourished with the patronage of no less than 5 crowned heads: Edward VII of England (noted for his unique order of a watch with the dial decorated with the nude figure of a very limber Lily Langtry in which the hands were shaped and painted like her legs), Kaiser Wilhelm II (preferred a portrait of Prince Eulenberg depicted as an odalisque), Nicholas, Tsar of all the Russias (a piece of the True Cross inlaid over the manhood of a depiction of a handsome young sailor), the aforementioned Francis Joseph - now Kaiser Francis Joseph II, and The Sultan Abdul Hamid of the Ottoman Empire (whose interesting preference was for a solid platinum watch thickly crusted with diamonds and jewels and carried in a case of softest suede made from the foreskins of Christian babies slaughtered solely by his own hand). During this period, we supplied timepieces as well to Prince von Bismarck, Prince Potemkin, Prime Minister Lord Salisbury, Transvaal President Paul Krueger, Prime Minister Delcasse', and even Americans such as J.P. Morgan, Cornelius Vanderbilt and particularly John D. Rockefeller (we were fortunately able to accomodate his request to leave enough room in the watch case to place the heart of a young orphan boy).

The post-war years were a period of unprecedented growth for Merde' Freres et Cie, with our fame and reputation for discretion resulting in being named Horloger Particulaire to the both the Quai d'Orsay and the Court of St. James, supplying their separate Corps Diplomatique with the finest grade of watches.

A particularly unfortunate period ensued after the Fall of France in 1941 when the firm was forcibly relocated to Vichy where special order timepieces were constructed under threat of force majeure for Reichsmarschall Goering, Dr. Goebbels, Foreign Minister Ribbentrop, Rudolf Hess and Reichsfuhrer SS Heinrich Himmler. Reichsmarschall Goering's watch was notable for its hidden compartment housing a razor blade and small mirror.

After the War, the firm struggled to maintain its footing in the ruins of Europe and began to cast its net further abroad into Africa and Asia, securing the sole franchise to supply luxury timepieces to King Baudoin's Belgian Congo Colonial Administration, King Farouk of Egypt, Ali Khan and King Ibn Saud as well as the King of Thailand, Chiang Kai Shek and the Indochine' Francais.

Our reputation for the utmost discretion and outstanding quality remains our hallmark even today, where we have supplied fine timepieces to the last 6 Presidential Administrations (excluding those of Geo. W. Bush, who couldn't tell time), Potentates, Heads of State, Captains of Industry and the wealthy glitterati of a hundred nations.

Kind sir, allow the proud firm of Merde' Freres et Cie to serve you in the capacity of the supply of fine luxury timepieces to your Corps Diplomatique. We are abundantly equipped to supply any amount of the finest luxury brands to any destination whatsoever. The names alone of these luxury brands attest to their unparalleled quality:
Ralex
Patek Phillip
Vasheron Constantine
Jaeger LeColter
Hubcap
Girard Pairagoats
Carter
Omiga
and many others.

Your slightest request is our command.
Please contact us at your earliest opportunity. We await your custom.

Claude Pis-Vinaigre, Managing Director, Merde' Freres et Cie.
13 Rue Jaquemoff , Paris


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Re: Watches for Diplomats?

Post by bigedsurf » March 21st 2013, 11:51am

Falstaff wrote:
jimmythor wrote:We are looking out for diplomatic suppliers who can supply Luxury watches to our diplomatic missions around the world. Please provide me some suggestions.


Esteemed sir,

We here at Merde' Freres et Cie have an illustrious history of service to the diplomatic community. Our firm began as joallier horlogerie to the Court of the most gracious, but unfortunate Louis XVI, supplying him with the clocks and watches he so enjoyed amusing himself with as well as furnishing the renowned Montre bracelet d'Amour by which his equally unfortunate Queen, Marie Antoinette timed the King's "Acts of Royal Duty" upon her person.

Further, we supplied the Cardinals Richelieu and Mazarin as well as Foreign Minister M. de Talleyrand with timepieces of unparalleled richness, beauty and accuracy particularly noted for their amusing and complex minute repetier automaton movements depicting the Sultan of Turkey disporting himself with a young boy of great beauty and substantial endowment.

At a somewhat later period in our history, Merde' Freres et Cie, having weathered the storm of the Revolution, and having acquired the discrete patronage of the Emperor Napoleon I, his Queen, Josephine (who notably desired timepieces that were bigger, thicker, longer and possessed vibrating alarms), Marshal Ney, The Dauphin and ultimately His Imperial Majesty Louis Napoleon, began to branch out doing business across the Continent and England. Notable patrons from this time period include Prince Metternich, HRH Prince Albert, The Duke of Wellington, The Dowager Empress Marie Feodorovna of Russia, His Majesty Frederick William IV of Prussia and particularly His Imperial Highness, Crown Prince Francis Joseph of Austria-Hungary who liked nothing more than a simple pocketwatch of solid gold decorated with handpainted (by Ingres') scenes of rustic shepherds frolicking naked amongst their flocks.

Just before the Great War, our firm flourished with the patronage of no less than 5 crowned heads: Edward VII of England (noted for his unique order of a watch with the dial decorated with the nude figure of a very limber Lily Langtry in which the hands were shaped and painted like her legs), Kaiser Wilhelm II (preferred a portrait of Prince Eulenberg depicted as an odalisque), Nicholas, Tsar of all the Russias (a piece of the True Cross inlaid over the manhood of a depiction of a handsome young sailor), the aforementioned Francis Joseph - now Kaiser Francis Joseph II, and The Sultan Abdul Hamid of the Ottoman Empire (whose interesting preference was for a solid platinum watch thickly crusted with diamonds and jewels and carried in a case of softest suede made from the foreskins of Christian babies slaughtered solely by his own hand). During this period, we supplied timepieces as well to Prince von Bismarck, Prince Potemkin, Prime Minister Lord Salisbury, Transvaal President Paul Krueger, Prime Minister Delcasse', and even Americans such as J.P. Morgan, Cornelius Vanderbilt and particularly John D. Rockefeller (we were fortunately able to accomodate his request to leave enough room in the watch case to place the heart of a young orphan boy).

The post-war years were a period of unprecedented growth for Merde' Freres et Cie, with our fame and reputation for discretion resulting in being named Horloger Particulaire to the both the Quai d'Orsay and the Court of St. James, supplying their separate Corps Diplomatique with the finest grade of watches.

A particularly unfortunate period ensued after the Fall of France in 1941 when the firm was forcibly relocated to Vichy where special order timepieces were constructed under threat of force majeure for Reichsmarschall Goering, Dr. Goebbels, Foreign Minister Ribbentrop, Rudolf Hess and Reichsfuhrer SS Heinrich Himmler. Reichsmarschall Goering's watch was notable for its hidden compartment housing a razor blade and small mirror.

After the War, the firm struggled to maintain its footing in the ruins of Europe and began to cast its net further abroad into Africa and Asia, securing the sole franchise to supply luxury timepieces to King Baudoin's Belgian Congo Colonial Administration, King Farouk of Egypt, Ali Khan and King Ibn Saud as well as the King of Thailand, Chiang Kai Shek and the Indochine' Francais.

Our reputation for the utmost discretion and outstanding quality remains our hallmark even today, where we have supplied fine timepieces to the last 6 Presidential Administrations (excluding those of Geo. W. Bush, who couldn't tell time), Potentates, Heads of State, Captains of Industry and the wealthy glitterati of a hundred nations.

Kind sir, allow the proud firm of Merde' Freres et Cie to serve you in the capacity of the supply of fine luxury timepieces to your Corps Diplomatique. We are abundantly equipped to supply any amount of the finest luxury brands to any destination whatsoever. The names alone of these luxury brands attest to their unparalleled quality:
Ralex
Patek Phillip
Vasheron Constantine
Jaeger LeColter
Hubcap
Girard Pairagoats
Carter
Omiga
and many others.

Your slightest request is our command.
Please contact us at your earliest opportunity. We await your custom.

Claude Pis-Vinaigre, Managing Director, Merde' Freres et Cie.
13 Rue Jaquemoff , Paris





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Re: Watches for Diplomats?

Post by NorthCountry » March 21st 2013, 11:58am

Datsun240Z71 wrote:Image

I was stopped once by a Dodge Diplomat.


Haha! I remember those as a kid...man those things could haul some serious ass!!
Thought they used the Plymouth Fury III? Doesn't really matter same chassis. I had one old Trooper tell me those had so much torque, it would sometimes pull the altenator into the fan on full throttle acceleration.

And to the OP, I say diplomatically of course, FUCK OFF!Image
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Re: Watches for Diplomats?

Post by Kahuna74 » March 21st 2013, 3:07pm

Falstaff wrote:
jimmythor wrote:We are looking out for diplomatic suppliers who can supply Luxury watches to our diplomatic missions around the world. Please provide me some suggestions.


Esteemed sir,

We here at Merde' Freres et Cie have an illustrious history of service to the diplomatic community. Our firm began as joallier horlogerie to the Court of the most gracious, but unfortunate Louis XVI, supplying him with the clocks and watches he so enjoyed amusing himself with as well as furnishing the renowned Montre bracelet d'Amour by which his equally unfortunate Queen, Marie Antoinette timed the King's "Acts of Royal Duty" upon her person.

Further, we supplied the Cardinals Richelieu and Mazarin as well as Foreign Minister M. de Talleyrand with timepieces of unparalleled richness, beauty and accuracy particularly noted for their amusing and complex minute repetier automaton movements depicting the Sultan of Turkey disporting himself with a young boy of great beauty and substantial endowment.

At a somewhat later period in our history, Merde' Freres et Cie, having weathered the storm of the Revolution, and having acquired the discrete patronage of the Emperor Napoleon I, his Queen, Josephine (who notably desired timepieces that were bigger, thicker, longer and possessed vibrating alarms), Marshal Ney, The Dauphin and ultimately His Imperial Majesty Louis Napoleon, began to branch out doing business across the Continent and England. Notable patrons from this time period include Prince Metternich, HRH Prince Albert, The Duke of Wellington, The Dowager Empress Marie Feodorovna of Russia, His Majesty Frederick William IV of Prussia and particularly His Imperial Highness, Crown Prince Francis Joseph of Austria-Hungary who liked nothing more than a simple pocketwatch of solid gold decorated with handpainted (by Ingres') scenes of rustic shepherds frolicking naked amongst their flocks.

Just before the Great War, our firm flourished with the patronage of no less than 5 crowned heads: Edward VII of England (noted for his unique order of a watch with the dial decorated with the nude figure of a very limber Lily Langtry in which the hands were shaped and painted like her legs), Kaiser Wilhelm II (preferred a portrait of Prince Eulenberg depicted as an odalisque), Nicholas, Tsar of all the Russias (a piece of the True Cross inlaid over the manhood of a depiction of a handsome young sailor), the aforementioned Francis Joseph - now Kaiser Francis Joseph II, and The Sultan Abdul Hamid of the Ottoman Empire (whose interesting preference was for a solid platinum watch thickly crusted with diamonds and jewels and carried in a case of softest suede made from the foreskins of Christian babies slaughtered solely by his own hand). During this period, we supplied timepieces as well to Prince von Bismarck, Prince Potemkin, Prime Minister Lord Salisbury, Transvaal President Paul Krueger, Prime Minister Delcasse', and even Americans such as J.P. Morgan, Cornelius Vanderbilt and particularly John D. Rockefeller (we were fortunately able to accomodate his request to leave enough room in the watch case to place the heart of a young orphan boy).

The post-war years were a period of unprecedented growth for Merde' Freres et Cie, with our fame and reputation for discretion resulting in being named Horloger Particulaire to the both the Quai d'Orsay and the Court of St. James, supplying their separate Corps Diplomatique with the finest grade of watches.

A particularly unfortunate period ensued after the Fall of France in 1941 when the firm was forcibly relocated to Vichy where special order timepieces were constructed under threat of force majeure for Reichsmarschall Goering, Dr. Goebbels, Foreign Minister Ribbentrop, Rudolf Hess and Reichsfuhrer SS Heinrich Himmler. Reichsmarschall Goering's watch was notable for its hidden compartment housing a razor blade and small mirror.

After the War, the firm struggled to maintain its footing in the ruins of Europe and began to cast its net further abroad into Africa and Asia, securing the sole franchise to supply luxury timepieces to King Baudoin's Belgian Congo Colonial Administration, King Farouk of Egypt, Ali Khan and King Ibn Saud as well as the King of Thailand, Chiang Kai Shek and the Indochine' Francais.

Our reputation for the utmost discretion and outstanding quality remains our hallmark even today, where we have supplied fine timepieces to the last 6 Presidential Administrations (excluding those of Geo. W. Bush, who couldn't tell time), Potentates, Heads of State, Captains of Industry and the wealthy glitterati of a hundred nations.

Kind sir, allow the proud firm of Merde' Freres et Cie to serve you in the capacity of the supply of fine luxury timepieces to your Corps Diplomatique. We are abundantly equipped to supply any amount of the finest luxury brands to any destination whatsoever. The names alone of these luxury brands attest to their unparalleled quality:
Ralex
Patek Phillip
Vasheron Constantine
Jaeger LeColter
Hubcap
Girard Pairagoats
Carter
Omiga
and many others.

Your slightest request is our command.
Please contact us at your earliest opportunity. We await your custom.

Claude Pis-Vinaigre, Managing Director, Merde' Freres et Cie.
13 Rue Jaquemoff , Paris

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