Watchlords

conjurer wrote:I don't know about that, Alain. Me and Foggy were making fun of some dead celebrities on the old TV show Family Affair, while a couple of other members were pretty much welcoming him (as I did, in my own heartwarming way.)

This boy, unless he's Sabastian Cabot's nephew or something, came out swinging like an asshole. Like AJC mentions, he blows up at the drop of a hat.

I agree that sometimes we could be a little less acerbic with new members.

This is wrong. Just plain wrong. Sebastian Cabot could hardly be called a "celebrity." Brian Keith did a nice turn in the old Kraft Theater, but most people think he's the guy who hanged himself in An Officer And a Gentleman. I think what perplexes about the entire Family affair is just how slightly off that whole scene was. You couldn't exactly put your finger on it, but you knew something was off. I cannot be the only one skived out by "Uncle Bill" and his hirsute manservant. Half the time Uncle Bill called for French, I thought he was placing an order. Of course Anissa Jones' short, tragic life is well-known, but IMO the real monster of the series is Johnny Whittaker. His claim to fame is he gave Jodie Foster her first kiss. I say that's what turned her gay. JW is an obvious shitheel, a smarmy fuck in the mold of Billy Mummy, both of whom, IMO deserve any demented attention Mr. French might pay them.
Peace out.

WTF?? No love for Cissy?? I bet BK was on her like the beard on Mr. French.

You guys have manged to turn an innocent show from my childhood into some sort of incestuous sitcom. thank you.

DoctorIvey wrote:.... and his hirsute manservant.

I think you'll find that Mr. French preferred the term "Gentleman's gentleman".

If this guy flipped out at the mention of Brian Keith, imagine if someone decided to make fun of Hugh Beaumont.

o.o

Are you sure that's not George Fenneman??

foghorn wrote:Are you sure that's not George Fenneman??

Horsefeathers should be able to tell us.

Tzimisces wrote:

foghorn wrote:Are you sure that's not George Fenneman??

Horsefeathers should be able to tell us.

Hugh Beaumont is correct

Watch Noob wrote:You guys have manged to turn an innocent show from my childhood into some sort of incestuous sitcom. thank you.

I guess you dont want to hear the true story behind My Three Sons. Let's just say that Uncle Charlie was initiating "rhythmic slapping" long before Sandusky was a part of PSU



And the practice of tapping your foot under the bathroom stall, well

You guys are a bunch of sick fucks!

New canadian license plates will have below the numbers,"Allow us to Bore the LIVING SHIT outta ya"

Horse Feathers wrote:
I guess you dont want to hear the true story behind My Three Sons. Let's just say that Uncle Charlie was initiating "rhythmic slapping" long before Sandusky was a part of PSU



And the practice of tapping your foot under the bathroom stall, well

Good one HF, I always wondered what that foot tapping meant. Uncle Charlie was well ahead of his time I guess.

I'm no fan of William Demerest. He does not pass the smell test. As a kid I instinctively knew that he, Red Skelton, and Aunt Bea were all no good at heart.

But come now, men. Hugh Beaumont is a national treasure, along with Barbara Billingsley, Tony Dow, and Jerry Mathers, as The Beaver.

At last year's MANC (as an homage to the OP I should leave it at that, but I won't. It's the Mid-Atlantic Nostalgia Convention) Dow and Mathers short-sheeted Billy Mummy's, er, I mean Johnny Whitaker's bed. I tried to talk them into going Full Metal Jacket on that sorry prick, but, ever the gentlemen, they declined (true story).

BTW, both Wally and The Beaver became happy, well-adjusted, successful adults. Unlike those misfits from Family Affair. Uncle Bill, along with Buffy, committed suicide. (Why, oh why, could it not have been Johnny Whitaker?) Jodie's real claim to fame is that he begat the phrase "beat him like a red-headed stepchild." His drug and alcohol abuse are legendary. And Cissy? That broad was too stupid to even know how to spell her name. She looks alright in a cape and tights, though...

Is it just me, or does Eyal Lalo look just like the demon spawn of Johnny Whitaker and Billy Mummy?

DoctorIvey wrote:I'm no fan of William Demerest. He does not pass the smell test. As a kid I instinctively knew that he, Red Skelton, and Aunt Bea were all no good at heart.

Aunt Bea was played by Frances Bavier. The Feds had her in witness protection after testifying against her boyfriend Michael "The Instigator" Morroni. Morroni was a small time gangster in Mount Pilot and since he was by himself and in a smaller town he was only successful in encouraging the crimes of others.

Her actual photo prior to the show (truly Frances Bavier)



The Feds agreed to allow her to do the show but required extensive alteration of her features.



CBS was fine with the required changes and chose to recast her as Aunt Bee (she was originally cast to play Trixie, Mayberry's only Courtesan ). These changes were not popular with the rest of the cast especially this guy.



Floyd Lawson (Floyd the Barber) was originally cast as Floyd The Pimp. CBS was already having issues with him and his cocaine addiction but the producers thought it would be funny to have him stay.

Horse Feathers wrote:

DoctorIvey wrote:I'm no fan of William Demerest. He does not pass the smell test. As a kid I instinctively knew that he, Red Skelton, and Aunt Bea were all no good at heart.

Aunt Bea was played by Frances Bavier. The Feds had her in witness protection after testifying against her boyfriend Michael "The Instigator" Morroni. Morroni was a small time gangster in Mount Pilot and since he was by himself and in a smaller town he was only successful in encouraging the crimes of others.

Her actual photo prior to the show (truly Frances Bavier)



The Feds agreed to allow her to do the show but required extensive alteration of her features.



CBS was fine with the required changes and chose to recast her as Aunt Bee (she was originally cast to play Trixie, Mayberry's only Courtesan ). These changes were not popular with the rest of the cast especially this guy.



Floyd Lawson (Floyd the Barber) was originally cast as Floyd The Pimp. CBS was already having issues with him and his cocaine addiction but the producers thought it would be funny to have him stay.

What has this come to, this thing I have wrought?

conjurer wrote:

Horse Feathers wrote:

DoctorIvey wrote:I'm no fan of William Demerest. He does not pass the smell test. As a kid I instinctively knew that he, Red Skelton, and Aunt Bea were all no good at heart.

Aunt Bea was played by Frances Bavier. The Feds had her in witness protection after testifying against her boyfriend Michael "The Instigator" Morroni. Morroni was a small time gangster in Mount Pilot and since he was by himself and in a smaller town he was only successful in encouraging the crimes of others.

Her actual photo prior to the show (truly Frances Bavier)



The Feds agreed to allow her to do the show but required extensive alteration of her features.



CBS was fine with the required changes and chose to recast her as Aunt Bee (she was originally cast to play Trixie, Mayberry's only Courtesan ). These changes were not popular with the rest of the cast especially this guy.



Floyd Lawson (Floyd the Barber) was originally cast as Floyd The Pimp. CBS was already having issues with him and his cocaine addiction but the producers thought it would be funny to have him stay.

What has this come to, this thing I have wrought?

Don't get me started on Victor Buono. Noted portrayer of villains King Tut on Batman and Melanthose Osiris Moon on The Untouchables, Buono was in fact an unreconstructed Fascisti, secret Grand Master of the Glendale lodge of the Knights Templar and an early lover of both Anna Magnani and Dorothy Mcguire. His life was tragically cut short in 1967 when he was trampled by elephants on the set of Circus Boy. This "accident" caused the cancellation of the show, which is probably for the best as he was (rumor had it) about to be indicted for corruption of a minor - said minor being no less than Circus Boy child star Kurt Russell - which would have been a fatal blow to Russell's burgeoning carreer. Hollywood legend has it that Russell's later character "Snake" Pliskin was named after Buono's male member. Buono left behind him no less than 9 illegitimate children and what was, at the time of his death, the world's most comprehensive collection of the works of Jasper Johns.

foghorn wrote:

Kingfisher wrote:You two just go out of your way to be assholes.

As a longtime member, in good standing, I can assure you that no self respecting member of this forum has to "go out of their way" to be an asshole.







Jeebus!!

Nostalgia bump

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vyRSV9eqTUY[/youtube]

Horse Feathers wrote:

foghorn wrote:

Kingfisher wrote:You two just go out of your way to be assholes.

As a longtime member, in good standing, I can assure you that no self respecting member of this forum has to "go out of their way" to be an asshole.







Jeebus!!

Nostalgia bump

Yes, but which one was Hectum and which was Rectum...?

I was going to say welcome, but if you can't take a little hazing, your time here is not likely to be enjoyable.

How do I keep missing this stuff?!

I would say welcome but looks like le' troll is gone. Maybe he was Cabot's nephew after all?

biglove wrote:How do I keep missing this stuff?!

You did look at the date, right ?

Horse Feathers wrote:

biglove wrote:How do I keep missing this stuff?!

You did look at the date, right ?

FFS. I am so stuck on 2013. Damnit, this year ends in a FOUR, Travis, ya' damned dork!

Thanks, HF.