by Falstaff » December 29th 2012, 7:00pm
I'd say an Invicter Venom would be right up your alley, if you will. Thick as a fucking brick, available in "as black as the Earl of Hell's riding boots" PVD finish, plenty of "road hugging" (slogan worked well for Ford!) weight, at least 50mm of testosterone pumped, lubricious female attracting wrist coverage, Swiss-ish made, as manly as a pair of functional testicles and a 5 year non-coverage warranty. Why the name itself - VENOM - just drips with "don't tread on me" machismo. Pay no attention to those metrosexual haters (this fucking forum is full of 'em) with their lightweight, effeminate 40-49mm Eurotrash watches - or those slick anime-loving wannabe Japanese fanbois with their Seikos, Citizens and Orients (remember Pearl Harbor). Man up - get a Venom, godammit.
Dies mei sicut umbra declinaverunt