Achtung, baby

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JAS1125
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Achtung, baby

Post by JAS1125 » June 13th 2019, 11:54am

I have always been drawn to the Eastern cultures for as long as i can remember. Even as a small child I was drawn to cartoons/shows like Tesujin 28, Mazinger Z, Ultraman, Godzilla, etc…. I was in consistent awe of these shows, blown away actually. As I got older, it wasn’t just the shows that gave me these feelings. The cultures, the religions, the people, began to as well. Absolutely beautiful and awe inspiring. It eventually inspired me so much that I started and continue to practice Buddhism, meditation, martial arts.


https://timetoblogwatches.com/2019/05/2 ... g-shuttle/

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"Old age and treachery will always beat youth and exuberance"

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Re: Achtung, baby

Post by conjurer » June 13th 2019, 12:45pm

The Achtung Shuttle is that watch and you can immediately take notice of it’s unique design. The large black case commands instant attention right out of the box. The red and black color combo has always been one of my favorite combinations since I was a kid. Voltron and Snake Eyes(his tattoo) immediately jumped into my mind.

What are you, some kind of fucking moron? Who the fuck's Voltron, and why do I give a fuck about his fucking tattoo?

Fuck off.
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Re: Achtung, baby

Post by conjurer » June 13th 2019, 12:49pm

For those of you that enjoy looking at the movement inside of your watch, the Shuttle will definitely tickle that fancy with a sapphire caseback.

Yeah, I really like looking at a Miyota fucking movement. It makes my dick hard.

Please fuck the hell off.
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Re: Achtung, baby

Post by conjurer » June 13th 2019, 12:50pm

The hour markers are beautifully integrated into the chapter ring, with 4 large sections that ‘jet out’ which feature multi-color numerals 2, 4, 8, 10.

My lunch just "jetted out" from reading this bullshit prose.

Do everybody a fucking favor and fuck off to the skate park.
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Re: Achtung, baby

Post by conjurer » June 13th 2019, 12:54pm

I also find myself becoming bored with the same old tired designs. These countless sub mariner clones make me wanna vomit from the absolute lack of inspiration and lack of individuality. That’s why my blog will always feature the obscure, unique, not for everyone kind of watches...

...Along with banal writing and stupid fucking references to Japanese cartoons.

Bugger off you fucking git.*


*An homage to Mr. Bloke.
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Re: Achtung, baby

Post by foghorn » June 13th 2019, 1:06pm

That's the most dumbfuckingest shitturd of a WarTche I have ever scene!!!


And what the fuckdribble is this supposed to be? Don't say a lume shot because , if it is, it is the worst goddamn lOOm shot in the history of planktonia. It is the John Merrick , nay, the Steve Buscemi of loom shots. It's not even a lume shot. It's a lume SHIT!!


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Re: Achtung, baby

Post by biglove » June 13th 2019, 3:34pm

I cannot bring myself to read the twat waffle that is Bazinga!

Fucking ass clown.
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Re: Achtung, baby

Post by MKTheVintageBloke » June 13th 2019, 4:39pm

Damn, bloody well done, Mr. Conjurer.

As for the "raw sneakers" part, maybe he meant a raw Snickers? Like, an opposite of the deep-fried Mars bar? I'll be fucked if I know.

Still, this thing is so fucking revolting - and the review, so appalling - that I can't resist bashing it myself. Let slip the dogs of war!

I have always been drawn to the Eastern cultures for as long as i can remember. Even as a small child I was drawn to cartoons/shows like Tesujin 28, Mazinger Z, Ultraman, Godzilla, etc….

That's like saying that you're drawn to the Balkan cultures, because at some point in your life you've had a sip of rakija and vomited on a Yugo.

It eventually inspired me so much that I started and continue to practice Buddhism, meditation...

He who does not use punctuation and reviews dreadful, Invictesque shit, shall suffer from bad karma and be reborn as a baboon.

Today’s review watch is definitely influenced and inspired by the culture of where it was conceived.

Doesn't look particularly German, as the name would suggest... Unless it was designed by an obese, ham-wristed, Lederhosen-wearing trucker, whose inspiration for creating this plasticky puck came from the Zeppelin-sized silicone boobs he saw in a cheap porno that he bought on a DVD from a gas station by the Autobahn.
Then again, neither Bazinga! nor Achtung's website tell us where is the brand actually from, and where is that shit being made.

The large black case commands instant attention right out of the box.

How could one miss such a colossal pile of shit?

I got the initial inspiration feeling of a cockpit instrument panel when I saw these smaller dials.

To me, feels like an Invicter.

The two sub dials can be designated for multiple time zones if you do a lot of traveling for example.

No, I don't think it's a good watch for travelling. That's because if you'd show up at an airport while wearing that, the security staff might give you a colonoscopy. Not because they'll think that you're smuggling a bomb or drugs up your arse, but because they'll think that you actually like having things inserted there.

Eventually I did get the hang of manipulating them, pulling them up first, them rotating the crown to set the time.

G E N I U S !!! Give the man a Nobel Prize! He learned how to use the tyme knob!

It adds that extra detail to the outfit.

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The dial is as robust and full of detail just like the case itself. The hour markers are beautifully integrated into the chapter ring, with 4 large sections that ‘jet out’ which feature multi-color numerals 2, 4, 8, 10. The shape this creates on the dial is pretty awesome in my opinion, especially at the 3 and 6 locations on the dial. Don’t worry if you are the type of person who likes all 12 numbers represented on the dial, because Achtung has you covered. The rest of the numerals are printed in small white print along the inner sections on the chaper ring. Achtung choice of hands for the shuttle are perfect in design. They complement the depth of this dial brilliantly.

I don't know where to start the process of bashing that. It's just so fucking idiotic that I may vomit.

$664 USD gets you a extremely unique and limited watch that is full of character. It’s a watch that has individuality and will definitely be a killer accent piece for those who love mixing it up in their personal style.

I don't know if it can be mixed into a style, because if someone actually does buy that shit, that'd rule them out as having style at all.

Aaaaarggghhhh.
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Re: Achtung, baby

Post by tiktok » June 13th 2019, 11:16pm

conjurer wrote: I really enjoyed pairing it with a cool t-shirt, jeans and some raw sneakers.[/i]

The fuck are "raw sneakers?"

G Star Raw Denim streetwear, sir.
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JAS1125
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Re: Achtung, baby

Post by JAS1125 » June 14th 2019, 4:39am

conjurer wrote:I love matching my watches with my skateboarding hats and sneakers. That’s my jam. Perhaps the Achtung Shuttle will accentuate your style jam.

Fuck off.



Here's my jam

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I also like Red Raspberry
"Old age and treachery will always beat youth and exuberance"

David Mamet
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Re: Achtung, baby

Post by Pete26 » June 15th 2019, 8:39pm

OMG, that is the most infantile, puerile piece of shit journalism that I have ever had the misfortune to read, thanks to Conj's footnotes, I can skip it and read about Prince Charles, his Parmigiani chrono and becoming a Tampon so he can get into Camilla's vagina comfortably
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Re: Achtung, baby

Post by TemerityB » June 16th 2019, 1:01pm

He only gets better/worse, but it seems he'll review a watch he got in a gumball machine egg next. But I guess it's poetry, in a perverse way: Garbage writer, shit watches. Softer than Wonder Bread, but nutritious as a case of Kaboom.

Still doesn't know it's from its, or care to know. This is a truly special jagoff, the kind of guy who stinks up your apartment building elevator with dollar store cologne and thinks he's Hugh Hefner.
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