Watchlords

Robert Gottshall, for those not in the know, is some mook who publishes a Special Olympian blog on the interwebz called Time 2 Talk Watches. I think Temerity already pitched him a well-deserved assfucking around these here parts, but I came across a newer entry that I thought was damned fine, at least for a few yucks:

http://time2talkwatches.com/Blog/?p=412#more-412

Wherein Mr. Gottshall actually admits that he likes the new Invicters made of recycled soda pop cans.

First, a couple of superb examples of crippled syntax:

It is a 46mm case diameter, it is a quartz and is missing a date window which are a few of the things I would typical pass on a watch for.

But you cannot overlook the dial on this timepiece it is by far one of the most unique ideas I have come across in a watch.

But wait! It gets better:

Yes it is a 46mm but it is hard to believe, this timepiece looks much larger than it really is. This is due to the large dial opening and minimal bezel. It is an optical illusion that causes the watch to wear much larger than it is.

Okay, so he's not Norman Mailer. By now, most people would have opened the cheesebox, turned the watch over in their hands a few times, and tossed it back in, grabbing for the return sticker and some box tape. But Gottshall is made of sterner fish sammiches than that:

The star of the show in this timepiece is the dial. It is absolutely stunning and just like the name would suggest it is made with a used soda can. Now Invicta has cleverly enough block out the brand that is used but one can easily decipher that this dial is stamped out of a Coke Zero can.

Here Gottshall starts rhapsodizing about uniqueness of the dial:

One could compare the uniqueness to meteorite, sandstone, or mother of pearl; meaning that there are no two alike due to how nature has forged them. These dials fit that same group, no two will be alike due to what nature, consumers, or processing has done to them.

Gottshall, whose mother didn't raise no idjits, heads off the haterz with a diabolically clever rejoinder:

Now I know everyone is going to jump up and scream about all the Invicta quality issues but there is a difference here. Invicta has mastered the art of building quality low cost timepieces. The problems start with their higher end models and that is due to thinking they can produce a high-end timepiece with the same processes they use for more economically friendly pieces. It is my understanding that Invicta has also increased quality assurance which will help on the higher stuff.

Lube the goat, bro!

I have had my eye on this piece for a few months now.
It's been a source of much hilarity and mirth.

It doesn’t really fit into what I would usually look for in a timepiece.
Which is a watch of sufficient quality not to crap itself all over my wrist, and of sufficient taste and style that I can wear it without being laughed at by small mentally challenged children.

It is a 46mm case diameter, it is a quartz and is missing a date window which are a few of the things I would typical pass on a watch for.
Another thing I would typical pass on a watch for is the word 'Invicta' printed in a fuzzy edged, inconsistently saturated typeface on the dial. But I digress.

But you cannot overlook the dial on this timepiece
It is truly, unavoidably, horrible.

It is by far one of the most unique ideas I have come across in a watch. This and this alone is what drove me to pull the trigger on this timepiece and let’s face it for under $70 why not at least take a look at it.
Nobody else in the 500+ year history of horology has even considered constructing dials from junk food refuse.

The first thing I noticed was the size of the watch when I opened the box.
A pleasant surprise, as the first thing I noticed when I opened the box of my last Invicta was a putrid petrochemical stench.

Yes it is a 46mm but it is hard to believe, this timepiece looks much larger than it really is. This is due to the large dial opening and minimal bezel.
And quite possibly the visual impact of a brightly and boldly emblazoned piece of trash stuffed under the crystal.

It is an optical illusion that causes the watch to wear much larger than it is.
Thank christ for that! You wouldn't want to be stuck with a 46 mm girlie watch.

When I first took it out of the yellow box it came packaged in I was wearing my all black SAN4 and couldn’t believe that the SAN4 was actually larger. For me this was a pleasant surprise because I for one am still into the larger case diameters.
I am also into wearing adult diapers and defecating on myself whilst rubbing one out to beast porn, if we're going to list humiliating and degrading confessions.

The star of the show in this timepiece is the dial.
Doesn't say much for the rest of the watch - sorry, timepiece - does it?

It is absolutely stunning and just like the name would suggest it is made with a used soda can. Now Invicta has cleverly enough block out the brand that is used but one can easily decipher that this dial is stamped out of a Coke Zero can.
Imagine the hours of fun with your carers and check-out chicks friends and family playing 'guess which piece of filty waste my watch dial is made from'!

The cool part is that you can tell this is not a new can, meaning you can see the imperfection that a used can would show. This was a great idea instead of using new cans, because now each and every timepiece is going to be slightly unique.
If only Invicta had applied this philosophy to all of their timepieces. "No, that's not a defect! It's not a new watch, meaning you can see the imperfection that a used watch would show. This watch may have had a seconds hand when new, but it is used".

One could compare the uniqueness to meteorite, sandstone, or mother of pearl;
One could, but one wouldn't, unless one was a hopelessly deluded fucktard.

meaning that there are no two alike due to how nature has forged them. These dials fit that same group, no two will be alike due to what nature, consumers, or processing has done to them.
Oh Mother Nature, we are in awe of your can forging abilities!

The case is brushed solid stainless steel and the skeletonized lugs are filled in with the silicon strap. Yes I said it this is not Polyurethane which is one of my least favorite materials used for watch straps. Invicta did it right on the DNA and used the more expensive material on this timepiece.
Silicone prices have been sky-rocketing, it is extremely rare and collectible, and I would not be surprised if Invicta sells each one of these at a loss.

Say what you want about Invicta but they absolutely give you the best bang for your buck, especially with their lower cost watches.
In the face of such unarguable facts, anybody who says anything negative about Invicta is a HATER!

This watch features a Swiss parts Ronda 513 Quartz movement, solid stainless steel case, and silicon rubber strap and you can buy it today for just over $65. Not many companies could do that and put out a timepiece to this quality level.
It's truly difficult to conceive of new ways to fuck up the simple combination of quartz movement, steel case, and silicone strap, and yet Invicta always manages to dig deep and surprise us every time.

Now I know everyone is going to jump up and scream about all the Invicta quality issues but there is a difference here. Invicta has mastered the art of building quality low cost timepieces. The problems start with their higher end models and that is due to thinking they can produce a high-end timepiece with the same processes they use for more economically friendly pieces.
They can produce a high quality watch for a low price, but struggle to produce a high quality watch for a high price. I have PM'd Mongo Kid and suggested that for their next Reserve line they should just add a zero to the price of this trash can watch. Problem solved.

It is my understanding that Invicta has also increased quality assurance which will help on the higher stuff.
A toasted muffin told me.

The Invicta DNA recycled is a unique well-built timepiece that grabs attention and proves that Invicta can still produce impressive timepieces that almost everyone can afford. The DNA recycled is a timepiece that has been overlooked by many collectors but I think it is time to take another peek at it.

Toby has surpassed his teachers! He has successfully been graduated into the top tier of Invicter ball-breakers. Well done, mate. I'd shedding tears of joy over here.

Thanks mate - writing this one was an an enjoyable, cathartic experience.

Add Gottshall's name to my unofficial "enemies of horology" list.

TemerityB wrote:Add Gottshall's name to my unofficial "enemies of horology" list.

Normally I'd ignore jamokes like this; Gottshall seems like a relatively OK guy, and obviously, quite literate for a WatchGeek. His blog, however, brings out the worst in me, even though I am generally quite tolerant and sensitive.

jason_recliner wrote:

Excellent!

For years Invicta has been selling trash. Now they are literally selling trash.

Conjurer

He makes (2) points that I completely agree with

Now Invicta has cleverly enough block out the brand that is used but one can easily decipher that this dial is stamped out of a Coke Zero can.

True, Invicta has gained experience when it comes to circumventing trademarks and patents.

These dials fit that same group, no two will be alike ..

Once agin completely true, Invicta's strict manufacturing processes ensures no (2) parts in any of their watches are identical

AJC wrote:

It's possible this was posted in the wrong thread!

jason_recliner wrote:

AJC wrote:

It's possible this was posted in the wrong thread!

Actually, the inclusion of the tra-la-la guy makes any thread, on any subject, in any forum, that much better.

conjurer wrote:

jason_recliner wrote:

AJC wrote:

It's possible this was posted in the wrong thread!

Actually, the inclusion of the tra-la-la guy makes any thread, on any subject, in any forum, that much better.

Indeed! Soviet-era pop singers are actually scientifically proven to uplift your mood.

For $170 dollars more he could of gotten a Seiko SKX007.

Another bump in order to make the new WLs the top listing in a "Robert Gattshall" Google search!

UGH, me auld belly's uh gurglin' and guhschlerkin' over this...oy may yurk if oy doan git awf dis tread!!

There is no explanation to why people actually allow themselves to be interviewed by Gattshall.

Oh, wait - it's just a bunch of "celebrities" like Turdling and Skelton and a desperate-to-be-noticed-by-anybody Warren Sapp.

Never mind.

It's a shame they didn't use the entire can . A dozen or so states will give you 5 to 10 cents for an empty.

That's more then 5 to 10 times the normal used Invicter value

conjurer wrote:Toby has surpassed his teachers! He has successfully been graduated into the top tier of Invicter ball-breakers. Well done, mate. I'd shedding tears of joy over here.

At timely and appropriate bump - underbar outdid himself on this one and I offer retroactive kudos.

Thanks guys. Praise from Caesars.

remembering when