A New Bazinga! Revoo!

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conjurer
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A New Bazinga! Revoo!

Post by conjurer » October 16th 2019, 10:28pm

Here we go, a fresh new review from the Count of Cuntiness, Bazinga!:

https://greatmazinger.wordpress.com/201 ... -35-pilot/

Now, it's a little late, and I'm a little jaked, so I'll just post some highlights--if that's the word--of Bazinga!'s deathless prose:

The solid piece of titanium that makes up 75% of the case is executed with precision. I love the simplicity of this case and it’s no unnecessary added bullshit attitude.

And, right out of the chute, here we have Bazinga! cracking wise and using profanity, the fucking jerkoff. And:

The large, semi skeletonized hands are my personal favorite detail on the F-35 dial.(the 12,6 are a close second) The utilitarian hands are my ideal width and length and by this I mean that the width of the hands don’t allow the hands to get lost amongst the dial and by length the hands reach to the hour, minute, and seconds markers.

Where the fuck do I start? These two sentences fucking suck. And by this I mean that they are stupid, ill-written, and fucking retarded. Doesn't anybody bother to proofread anymore? Let's revisit this single sentence:

The utilitarian hands are my ideal width and length and by this I mean that the width of the hands don’t allow the hands to get lost amongst the dial and by length the hands reach to the hour, minute, and seconds markers.

Would using a fucking comma in there fucking kill you? Or, maybe, breaking it into two fucking sentences? Let me have a fucking shot at it:

The hands are of the ideal size. They don't get lost among the dial and are of the proper length.

Dang. Fuck. Was that so fucking goddamn hard, you fucking halfwit bodybuilding fucking loser? Did the steroids leave you any fucking brain cells left, you douchebag?

But wait, because, of course, there's more:

Speaking of details, the caseback is packed full of cool details, details about the watch itself and details through art. As you can see by the pictures, it has that badass military look/feel to it which is consistent to the entire watch itself. Even the strap itself retains that consistent level of badassery.

Honestly, Mr. Bazinga!, I really don't need a guy who posts half-nude selfies in a public restroom with his broken Ipad stuffed down his pants telling me what's bad-ass or not. You've pretty much given up that right to talk about shit being bad-ass.

Anyway, it's late, and I'll wrap it up. Sleep well, my fellow Lords. And you too, Bazinga!, you tiny-dicked goof.
My little brain can't even comprehend how deep that is.

--beefsupreme, commenting on his super rare Deep Blue wartche

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Re: A New Bazinga! Revoo!

Post by TemerityB » October 17th 2019, 8:08am

Garbage in, garbage out. But then again, we have no right to criticize since we've "never run a successful blog."

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Re: A New Bazinga! Revoo!

Post by MKTheVintageBloke » October 17th 2019, 1:01pm

Damn fine thrashing, Mr. Conjurer.
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Re: A New Bazinga! Revoo!

Post by bedlam » October 17th 2019, 4:50pm

I would like to think the Lords choose their battles well. My sense is that particular battle is already well and truly won and pursuing it further is unlikely to lead us to our finest hour.

But, YMMV
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Re: A New Bazinga! Revoo!

Post by koimaster » October 17th 2019, 6:00pm

bedlam wrote:
October 17th 2019, 4:50pm
I would like to think the Lords choose their battles well. My sense is that particular battle is already well and truly won and pursuing it further is unlikely to lead us to our finest hour.

But, YMMV
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Re: A New Bazinga! Revoo!

Post by 3Flushes » October 17th 2019, 10:10pm

A fine critique as usual. This guys' writing is ridicolous indeed. And as a fine writer like yourself, :lol: I recognize that you not only set a fine example with your own stuff, you provide fine writing examples of how to structure and punctuate and everything. You know, I am beginning to think that writing is not this guys' field. Sometimes it actually seems worse. If he is writing jaked or buzzed when it's worse, that is a clear sign that he is pursuing the wrong profession. Everyone knows that most of the best literary works in the world were written by jaked or drug of choiced authors. I know it is certainly true of myself. :lol: I think that's good advice for everyone who is trying to be a writer; if your work is more fucked up when you're fucked up you should proly quit.

The pics on the other hand. The pics. They're better every time I take a chance on one eye to have a peek at what 'ol Bazinga! is up to, especially if John wrote it. That's what this guy should be doing. Why with some real macro glass, SLR or equivalent interchangeable lenses body, mirrorless for instance, macro glass, it could be some great shit. Some of it is already really good shit and with a little polish on the lighting, a little'a this a little'a that and there's good money in it.

Put that little IWC 80th Anniversary number in that shot with the Jeep and the plane that looks like it's going to fall out of the fucking sky and crush the watch because there is no motion in the propeller. Add the revered brand, and a lille blurrr in the prop and that 's the difference between a credited cover on a real magazine or a Franck Mueller brochure and thank you, NEXT! And it's the big money.

But why try to advise the guy with all of the great writing advice and other suggestions for his blog that have been ignored? Bazinga! he no listen.
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Re: A New Bazinga! Revoo!

Post by bbattle » October 18th 2019, 3:37am

I could get past the fact that he uses too many adjectives and many of the same ones over and over if he would just use proper grammar. His writing would not garner him a C in a freshman creative writing class.

As for the watch, I fail to see the purpose of that Day subdial. Just because the movement has it doesn't mean it should be used.

I would have omitted the lume on the day and month subdials and also the logo. Lume on the crown is just being cute but again, it makes no sense.

The titanium case means it will be light but the height of 14.5mm is too high, in my opinion.
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Re: A New Bazinga! Revoo!

Post by MKTheVintageBloke » October 18th 2019, 1:36pm

Looking at that "revoo" a bit more, I've also noticed that Bazinga's really overdoing it with the photos now. I mean, if the guy just did nature photography, he probably would be more or less decent at it - in the photos here, one can clearly see the entire background, and hardly anything of the watch itself.
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.
H.P. Lovecraft

I'd send them all an animated gif of Ron Jeremy sucking his own cock.
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Re: A New Bazinga! Revoo!

Post by Falstaff » October 19th 2019, 9:03am

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:
October 18th 2019, 1:36pm
Looking at that "revoo" a bit more, I've also noticed that Bazinga's really overdoing it with the photos now. I mean, if the guy just did nature photography, he probably would be more or less decent at it - in the photos here, one can clearly see the entire background, and hardly anything of the watch itself.

I believe he fancies himself both auteur and artiste. Pathetic bastard.
"When the music's over, turn out the lights."
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Re: A New Bazinga! Revoo!

Post by 3Flushes » October 19th 2019, 10:04am

A little real glass gets ya close. Jettison the revoos. A guy with a limited creative verbal palette gives himself way too many pages to fill.
5 or 6 great pics and a focused paragraph, 2 max. That's the ticket. If it ain't gonna be great, why write with 10 gallons of ink?

That and stop talking shit about people, especially people here. The big boys read the shit silly humans puke into the stream of the public domain and they shy away from controversy, but especially the appearance, true or not, of, nuts.
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Re: A New Bazinga! Revoo!

Post by biglove » October 19th 2019, 10:37am

3Flushes wrote:
October 19th 2019, 10:04am
A little real glass gets ya close. Jettison the revoos. A guy with a limited creative verbal palette gives himself way too many pages to fill.
5 or 6 great pics and a focused paragraph, 2 max. That's the ticket. If it ain't gonna be great, why write with 10 gallons of ink?

That and stop talking shit about people, especially people here. The big boys read the shit silly humans puke into the stream of the public domain and they shy away from controversy, but especially the appearance, true or not, of, nuts.
A preacher told me once that preachers love to hear themselves talk. I suppose Bazinga! Loves to read his own "writing?"
"Never insult anyone by accident."-Robert A. Heinlein

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Re: A New Bazinga! Revoo!

Post by TemerityB » October 19th 2019, 4:54pm

3Flushes wrote:
October 19th 2019, 10:04am
A little real glass gets ya close. Jettison the revoos. A guy with a limited creative verbal palette gives himself way too many pages to fill.
5 or 6 great pics and a focused paragraph, 2 max. That's the ticket. If it ain't gonna be great, why write with 10 gallons of ink?

That and stop talking shit about people, especially people here. The big boys read the shit silly humans puke into the stream of the public domain and they shy away from controversy, but especially the appearance, true or not, of, nuts.
People with no earthly clue what they're doing when they sit down behind a typewriter or word processor usually think that the longer the piece is, the more "important" it is. They think
longer is better, the same way they think that when watches are bigger, it means they're better. Obviously this writer wannabe thinks, "wow it took me a long time to do this, so everybody should shower me with love, affection, and more watches."

But, that's all academic. The stone-cold fact is is that these reviews are hilarious, inept , and capital fun every time I read one. They're so awful that they're beautiful in a perverse way. Please, keep them coming.
WatchGeeks will go down in watch forum history as the worst watch related site that existed. Trolls, threats, bannings, and owners and sponsors talking out of their collective asses to fleece people out of hard earned money. - Koimaster
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Re: A New Bazinga! Revoo!

Post by TemerityB » October 21st 2019, 4:47pm

Wait just a corn moment! To log on to this swill you need to type in

greatmazinger.wordpress.com?

Wow. Just wow. Such delusions of adequacy.
WatchGeeks will go down in watch forum history as the worst watch related site that existed. Trolls, threats, bannings, and owners and sponsors talking out of their collective asses to fleece people out of hard earned money. - Koimaster
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