The Ashes 2021/2022

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The Ashes 2021/2022

Post by jason_recliner » December 7th 2021, 6:20pm

The greatest sporting spectacle of all time? Probably not. But there are few sporting events I look forward to as much as an Ashes series on home turf. Unfortunately the Perth test was moved due to some virus or something. No worries, that's why television was invented.

Scarcely believable start to the first session of the first test, being played right now at the Gabba. Hopefully we'll give the Poms a good hiding all summer, before sending them packing.
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Re: The Ashes 2021/2022

Post by bedlam » December 7th 2021, 11:15pm

The English seem incapable of batting at the Gabba. LOL
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Re: The Ashes 2021/2022

Post by jason_recliner » December 10th 2021, 8:33pm

Heck yeah!

The thing you gotta understand about England is they're not good at things. They wrote the Magna Carta, but that was a while ago. They haven't achieved anything of note since.

Edit: they make nice cheddar in their caves.
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Re: The Ashes 2021/2022

Post by jason_recliner » December 10th 2021, 10:57pm

conjurer wrote:
December 10th 2021, 9:56pm
:wtff:
Really?

You Philistine non-creative piece of garbage.

Was it your intention to 'crap' on humanity? Are you trying to tell your intellectual, hereditary, and social superiors that you're better than them?

Because that's what you're doing. You're trying to enjoy your working class every day Joe life as if you deserve satisfaction and fulfillment. You're denying them their God given right to deny you enjoyment of a wartche that doesn't meet their arbitrary standards?

Is that what you want?

You really think you're one of them?

And Sew, forth....
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Re: The Ashes 2021/2022

Post by conjurer » December 10th 2021, 11:48pm

jason_recliner wrote:
December 10th 2021, 10:57pm
conjurer wrote:
December 10th 2021, 9:56pm
:wtff:
Really?

You Philistine non-creative piece of garbage.

Was it your intention to 'crap' on humanity? Are you trying to tell your intellectual, hereditary, and social superiors that you're better than them?

Because that's what you're doing. You're trying to enjoy your working class every day Joe life as if you deserve satisfaction and fulfillment. You're denying them their God given right to deny you enjoyment of a wartche that doesn't meet their arbitrary standards?

Is that what you want?

You really think you're one of them?

And Sew, forth....
Sew Fourth.
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Re: The Ashes 2021/2022

Post by jason_recliner » December 16th 2021, 10:02pm

LOVING the Second Test. It's just like the old days, pre-ball tampering scandal.

Captain Smith taking charge. Warner excruciatingly close to a century. The Lamb Shagger surpassing expectations, yet again.

Bloody great series so far. 'ken oath.
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Re: The Ashes 2021/2022

Post by DoctorIvey » December 17th 2021, 5:51am

Conj, Toby is right. You really should tune in. There is a LOT to love about cricket. The bowler (that’s pitcher to those of you in Rio Linda) wobbles forth at breakneck speed like a retard on crack before slamming the ball into the ground. The games go on FOREVER. Seriously. It makes American baseball seem like something from the Fast and Furious franchise. Often, after a pitch there is much arguing and a complex and arcane series of replays and electronic devices must be consulted until eventually everyone forgets about which they were even arguing. Seriously. It’s comic gold. All the players are so relatively spiffy looking and well behaved, compared to, for example, the Baltimore Ravens, whom I will be watching on Sunday. They even field screaming line drives with their bare hands. And the ball (or pelota, to those of you in Rio Linda) is about as hard and dense as Turdling’s head. Really good stuff. You should watch.
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Re: The Ashes 2021/2022

Post by jason_recliner » December 25th 2021, 6:38pm

This the Big One, folks. It's clear that some of you have been holding out, not wanting to pop your cricket cherry for anything less than the ultimate cricket experience. This Is It. The Boxing Day Ashes Test at the Melbourne Cricket Ground (you may know her as The MCG). It really is the biggest match in International Cricket, and this one promises to have it all:
  • Bowling.
  • Batting.
  • Fielding.
  • Captains who "like to lead from the front".
  • Taking each ball as it comes.
  • Several partnerships anchored "staunchly" by a "steely, determined" Steve Smith (and isn't it great to see him bounce back - 'scuse the pun! - after the ball tampering scandal. He's done his time.)
  • The Crack of Leather on Willow!
  • Great lessons for any youngsters watching.
  • Emphasis by the commentators on the importance of "early wickets". This cannot be emphasised enough.
  • Bouncers aimed at the neck.
  • Bouncers aimed at the face.
  • Bouncers aimed at the wedding tackle.
  • Bouncers hitting the neck.
  • Bouncers hitting the face.
  • Bouncers hitting the wedding tackle.
  • Batsmen getting severely injured.
  • Players performing better than their statistics suggest.
  • Players promising to perform better than their statistics suggest, but not fulfilling that promise.
  • Players performing in line with their statistics.
  • Players underperforming when compared to their statistics.
  • Bowling a Good Line and Length.
  • Bowling a Good Line but short.
  • Bowling a Good Line and very full.
  • No Balls.
  • Footage of seagulls congregating around the outer.
  • Commentary on seagulls congregating around the outer if the play is exceptionally slow at one point (which it almost certainly will be).
  • Excessive use of the adjective proper.
  • Cuts to groups of young drunk Aussie men wearing costumes.
  • Cuts to attractive young Aussie women wearing not very much.
  • Cuts to the Balmy Army (with commentary that "they haven't had much to cheer for so far this series".
  • Pans to groups of young drunk Aussie men wearing costumes.
  • Pans to attractive young Aussie women wearing not very much.
  • Pans to the Balmy Army (with commentary that "they haven't had much to cheer for so far this series".
  • "Right up in the blockhole".
  • Giving 110%.
Yes, one thing is certain: Cricket will be the winner today.
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Re: The Ashes 2021/2022

Post by jason_recliner » December 25th 2021, 8:10pm

Aussies already sticking it to the Pomogolians, got 'em on the ropes right proper they have. Great to see Big Pat Cummins - and what a great cricketer name that is - back, already taking heaps of wickets, deserving this capataincy he is. The only other player who could possibly claim a stake being that model of staunchness, Steve Smith, playing with his trademark steely determination.

Find me another sport where the commentator will openly state that said sport "was in a rut 3 or 4 years ago, for the players. And the viewers. It was hard work for everyone!" God I love Test Cricket!!!

:cheers:
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Re: The Ashes 2021/2022

Post by jason_recliner » December 25th 2021, 8:17pm

Big Pat Cummins on four fer, already. Yes, I know what the scorecard says. No, I don't give a flying toss. That fourth wicket is his, Cummins made it possible. He looks like a proper young Don Bradman out there, he does.
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Re: The Ashes 2021/2022

Post by jason_recliner » December 25th 2021, 11:02pm

smellody wrote:
December 25th 2021, 10:55pm
England always wins in the end. 🇬🇧
Not so sure this time. At 9/176 on Day 1, with plenty of balls to go, that's a lot of pressure on Robinson and, er, Anderson (both proper fine cricketing names though, as they are).

EDIT

And that's England gone for 185 on Day one :mrgreen:

Well done to Boland. Can't be easy debuting on day one of the Boxing Day Ashes Test and he's done very well indeed.
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Re: The Ashes 2021/2022

Post by conjurer » December 26th 2021, 12:31am

jason_recliner wrote:
December 25th 2021, 11:02pm
smellody wrote:
December 25th 2021, 10:55pm
England always wins in the end. 🇬🇧
Not so sure this time. At 9/176 on Day 1, with plenty of balls to go, that's a lot of pressure on Robinson and, er, Anderson (both proper fine cricketing names though, as they are).

EDIT

And that's England gone for 185 on Day one :mrgreen:

Well done to Boland. Can't be easy debuting on day one of the Boxing Day Ashes Test and he's done very well indeed.
The fuck does this all mean?? And sew Fourth.
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Re: The Ashes 2021/2022

Post by jason_recliner » December 26th 2021, 11:37am

conjurer wrote:
December 26th 2021, 12:31am
jason_recliner wrote:
December 25th 2021, 11:02pm
smellody wrote:
December 25th 2021, 10:55pm
England always wins in the end. 🇬🇧
Not so sure this time. At 9/176 on Day 1, with plenty of balls to go, that's a lot of pressure on Robinson and, er, Anderson (both proper fine cricketing names though, as they are).

EDIT

And that's England gone for 185 on Day one :mrgreen:

Well done to Boland. Can't be easy debuting on day one of the Boxing Day Ashes Test and he's done very well indeed.
The fuck does this all mean?? And sew Fourth.
In a nut shell? England copped yet another almighty bollocking!
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