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tiktok wrote:Vintage Dude, send them your cv with a marketing teaser. It worked for me.
MKTheVintageBloke wrote:tiktok wrote:Vintage Dude, send them your cv with a marketing teaser. It worked for me.
Hmmm, that's not a bad idea. Here's a draft of my job application:
"Dear Armand Nicolet Personnel Department,
I have no experience in the industry, although as an observant fellow and avid researcher, I amount to more than the sodding lot of You combined. Your inept marketing strategy is so unbearably annoying to my massive intellect, that I have decided to request a job at Your unworthy excuse of a company.
It is my firm belief that Your company is just as badly fucked as it was since the 1970s. While Your watches don't entirely blow, they often blow. You have resorted to faux-discounts in an Eyal Lalo manner in order to have Your wares sold at all. It is my considered opinion, that this blows, and since I am the only sentient being - for you seem to have mostly orangutans at Your marketing department - that can get Your company unfucked again, You, dear Sirs, should take my word as gospel, and You can only prove that you are not the pillocks I take You for simply by hiring me.
My requirements are as follows: a five-digit monthly payout to an account on Turks & Caicos, a crate of Wild Turkey and a crate of Dalwhinnie 15 y.o. every month, a glass, a constant supply of ice cubes and cigars, a perpetually horny female assistant, and a couch necessary for effectively performing my work in a horizontal position.
I await Your reply with growing impatience.
MKTheVintage Bloke, Watch Lord and Master of Time, 1st Baron Foulmouth, WIS Know-It-All Extraordinaire, Knight of the Rectangular Desk and Earl of the Armchair"
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