Watchlords

Recently, the Donkeys have released their newest limited edition... Enter the Hoefler-designed (whatever fucking Hoefler is) 8-day travel clock for Hoedonkeys:
https://limited.hodinkee.com/hodinkee/

Today, I've seen this post by Perezcope on Instagram, and it reveals a ton of what's wrong with this $5900 Donkey Dropping...







This awful piece of shite is equipped with a low-grade Pontifa movement, featuring finishing that would be OK in a Soviet alarm clock, perhaps in a pin-lever wonder with a Baumgartner or Ebauches Bettlach thing inside.

The finishing of the leather case seems to be absolutely fucking dreadful.

And the community noticed it - when Worn & Wound gave Hoodwinkee a handjob posted it in their Instagram feed, the comments escalated quickly, and W&W, like a mediocrely discrete courtesan, did this:


"No, no, Mr. Donkey ain't our client, was here just for some hugs, and this isn't a bordello!"


What a cash grab. This looks really desperate on the Donkeys' part - lately, their content has been full of "how Mum and Daddy bought me a Rolex and had it engraved" stories from mooks spunking all over the Donkey social media profiles. Their Shop ceased to publish any movement pictures. There hasn't been any ambitious (even though rubbish) article at that site in months. Tons of regurgitation, translations of content from Hoodwinkee Japan, and so on.

I'll leave everyone to their deductions.

They are getting roasted over at reddit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Watchexchange/ ... tom_build/

Six fucking grand??? Are you fucking kidding me? Who the fuck would pay six fucking grand for this piece of fucking shit??

“Keeping things positive” seems to be a universal phrase for “we don’t want any criticism.” Cocksuckers, grifters and amoral assclowns.

That guy roasting the Donkeys on Reddit got it right. Meanwhile, I’m just waiting for an Invicter for Hoodwinkee LE - the Bolt Zeus or the Mighty Hydromax would do nicely.

biglove wrote: ↑

July 25th 2020, 9:49am

“Keeping things positive” seems to be a universal phrase for “we don’t want any criticism.” Cocksuckers, grifters and amoral assclowns.

Yeah, that sounds about right. On one hand, W&W was of the not-entirely-dreadful kind of blogs, on the other, with turning off the comments and editing the post with that lame explanation they’ve made themselves just what you’ve said they are.

Oh yeah... my parents got me that one when I was a kid.

I’m certain they were not completely ripped off like these fools propose at $6g - but it really did end up being a great little super-reliable travel clock.

Another good bashing of this 6-grand travesty...
https://wristocracy.com/the-hodinkee-tr ... tion-fail/

They're taking a good, hard squicking, but what appals me even more than Donkey hubris is that there are (up to) 100 people in the world with so much fucking spare money that they'd spoo nearly $6k (well over $6k for the handful of desperadoes outside the US who might have bought one) on this Franklin Mint freebie.

They'll all end up passing the same old shit around to one another at ever increasing prices whilst reaching around to give each other a good tug.

And the walloping at other venues carries on...
https://thetruthaboutwatches.com/2020/0 ... the-shark/

Hoodwinkee also has powered up its PR machine, i.e. had one of their errand boys (who once chimed into the comments on Bring a Brain and had his head handed to him) write this:
https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/a-qui ... ck-edition

Note that there isn't a single part addressing the actual concerns about the movement and its lame, almost non-existent finishing.

And here's a thorough bashing of that "response" :
https://thetruthaboutwatches.com/2020/0 ... criticism/

Dunno who the hell the author of that blog is, but the fellow would make a fine Watchlord, I reckon.

The Donkeys make what I hope will be their last money grab, the fuckers. Sadly, there are enough sheeple out there to keep them rolling in dough for decades. Dumbasses abound, and rich dumbasses at that.

Big "I fucken' told you so!' from Mr. Bloke!
Serve them right, fleecers.

I hooted at this, having given watches a break over the summer with a few other things to attend to. This whole scandal made me think I was in The Matrix; in what world is a cheaply-made wind-up clock worth six grand? This one, apparently. Stop it, I want to get off. I don't want to share a planet with people who spend six grand on a cheap clock solely and purely for the name on the front.

Anyway, Hodinkee has issued one of its tabloid-press retractions in portentous, simpleton-friendly, three-word sentences, with full stops everywhere. You know, the self-regarding journalese they've been curling out for a decade:

"We heard you. And we're sorry. You said "expensive". We say, "guilty". So we'll listen. And we say, "fuck you, hand over the cash, you drooling hipster goon".

And goons will. They sure will.