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MKTheVintageBloke
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The Donkey Rewind - A Decade of Braying
As this year and decade will soon end, yours truly would deem it a horrible travesty to pass up on bashing the Donkeys once again. I mean, it would be just so unfair... They have, after all, worked hard enough to make me call them out 36 times. If to count in the times I've called them out on just one instance not warranting a full Bring a Brain, that'd be about 40 times. If not more. Including the wallopings I've posted on WL only, it sums up to something like 45 times. Well, I'm not done yet. I'll be fucked if I am.
Let us have a look at what the Donkeys consider their most popular posts...of the decade.
https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/top-1 ... the-decade
I've bashed this revolting verbiage, this foetid drivel, on at least two occasions.
OK, now let's look at another Donkey round-up... The 10 best (sic!) dive watches of 2019.
https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/best- ... tches-2019
Is the "P" for "Pillock?"
I guess that's all. Or, bottom line, it's as much Donkey braying as I could handle. That's also likely all for this year.
Let us have a look at what the Donkeys consider their most popular posts...of the decade.
https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/top-1 ... the-decade
I might mourn that fact over a cup of tea.As 2019 draws to a close, we realized something here at HODINKEE HQ: We're completing the first full decade of HODINKEE!
Yeah, when you weren't doing shameless advertorials, or verbally wanking to a mirror. Which means, like, a film intermission in an endless broadcast of commercials.rom 2010 through to now, we've been bringing you stories about the most interesting watches, most interesting watch collectors, and most interesting watch makers across the globe.
Yeah, that's like rounding up 10 Bollywood horrors and binge-watching them. If masochism's your thing, why not?So it seemed an appropriate time to round up the top 10 stories from the last 10 years.
Yeah, right, that's gonna be the click count. Includes people who stopped reading after one sentence.hese are not our personal favorites or selections by year – no, they're the most viewed stories by raw numbers, and we're going to count them down from 10 to one.
That's my line, you cloven-hoof lunkheads!Without further ado...
Yeah, zip it and get on with it....let's do this!
Yeah, naught like reviewing a toy. Did you get it at Toys R Us or Hamleys?10. A Week On The Wrist: The Apple Watch Series 3 Edition (Sept. 2017)
Fixed it for ya.As the first Apple Watch to include cellular technology, the Series 3 was a game-changer for the world's top selling watch toy.
Which means that it includes a wankfest. A wankfest in a wankfest. Fun? Looks like we have very different ideas of what fun is....but it's Ben's in-depth review of the ceramic Apple Watch Series 3 that has landed at number 10 on this list. It includes an in-depth look at the new features, some thoughts on the Apple Watch's role in culture more broadly, and even some man-on-the-street interviews. This is a fun one and a great way to start this list.
No.Read the full story...
No fucking way....and watch the video here.
Oh, fuck off.9. Historical Perspectives: Ten Vintage Watches That Should Be More Expensive Than They Are, And Why (May 2013)
Yeah, some verbiage with a video and pictures of a man making videos and pictures. Boring. The watch is nice, though.8. A Week On The Wrist: The Tudor Black Bay GMT (Aug. 2018)
What appeal?That the video is stunning from start to finish, full of moody California landscapes, only adds to the appeal.
Because ending the year without polishing the sausage over the PND would feel so incomplete.7. In-Depth: The Sale Of Paul Newman's Rolex Daytona, The Most Expensive Wristwatch Ever (Oct. 2017)
Does nothing need a context, let alone need it much?and providing some much-needed context for understanding what this moment meant for everyone reading this right now.
Not horrible. Well, the watch is nice, but I won't bother to read the whole thing.6. A Week On The Wrist: The Grand Seiko Spring Drive Snowflake SBGA211 (Oct. 2017)
So, how do you write about understanding something without understanding something? Well, that's how. For what it's worth, both the 105.003 and 105.012 were introduced at the same time, in 1963. Not 1964. So much for the sort of understanding they meant.5. Reference Points: Understanding The Omega Speedmaster (Nov. 2015)
The horror...the horror...horror.4. In-Depth: Twelve Mistakes New Watch Guys Make, And How To Avoid Them (Sept. 2016)
It is truly a classic in bad writing. It's an autohagiography, as if written while jacking off and repeating te asinum laudamus. If there was ever something like graphomania combined with an onanist take on Bizet-esque, if not Wagnerian pathos, reckon that's got to be it.Watch collecting should be fun, but it can also be hard. There is so much to learn and sometimes little mistakes and missteps can have big consequences down the line. In this classic, Ben shares some of the lessons he's learned along the way...
I've bashed this revolting verbiage, this foetid drivel, on at least two occasions.
There's nothing like reading the musings of someone who makes no effort to know more what they're writing about. But wait, they called him an expert on a few occasions. If I bought Apollo 13 and First Man on Blu-Ray, that wouldn't exactly make me qualified to work at NASA, would it? Thought so. Neither does wild bidding at auction houses make an expert.3. A Week On The Wrist: The Tudor Heritage Black Bay Black Ref. 79220N (Oct. 2015)
John Mayer has been contributing to HODINKEE since April 2012, and beyond the episodes of Talking Watches (both one and two), the in-depth looks at special Patek Philippe references, and the vintage Rolex recommendations, John penned one of our all-time most popular A Week On The Wrist reviews, about the Tudor Heritage Black Bay Black. His first person account of what it's like to wear this modern classic is insightful and enthralling and there's a reason it sits at number three on this list.
Amazingly enough, there doesn't seem to be a lie in that.1. The Value Proposition: The Seiko SKX007 Diver's Watch (Oct. 2015)
And, in the top spot ... Jack's 2015 look at one of the most popular watches of all time, the Seiko SKX007 diver. For a lot of people (like a lot), the SKX007 is their entry point into watches and remains a piece near-and-dear to them throughout their collecting journeys.
Sounds very idealistic, coming from those to whom idealism is tantamount to cancer.but ultimately, this is a story about how watch collecting can and should be accessible to everyone, how it can be exciting and unpretentious at the same time, and how there's no reason you can't go out and get into the game today.
There is. Lies, wilful misinformation, fleecing people, advertorials. That's already four things more HOODWINKEE than that.There's nothing more HODINKEE than that.
OK, now let's look at another Donkey round-up... The 10 best (sic!) dive watches of 2019.
https://www.hodinkee.com/articles/best- ... tches-2019
Quite right.I can imagine there will be a fair bit of disagreement over my list
Oh, that's going to be good, given how shitty the watch is.Ianos Avyssos
As if centuries of diving for sponges taught them nothing.A surprise choice from a minnow among leviathans, the Ianos hails from the proud diving nation of Greece.
Looks like it does take more from Panerai and Greek diners. And that medley must have indeed been compiled over a glass of the liquid diabetes called ouzo.The Avyssos takes its design inspiration from that country’s diving history.
"Novel" doesn't mean it makes any sense, and it certifiably doesn't.A handwound ETA movement is a novel choice on a modern diver
Yes, it's ultimately what makes one hug the porcelain throne while puking copiously.The Avyssos is like a shot of ouzo after so many glasses of pinot noir.
An orange forum wartche.Doxa SUB 200 T.Graph Stainless Steel
Not exactly, you've been blowing off the spawn of the Jennies' necromanced abomination a few times already.Big surprise this one is here, huh?
Perversions are best kept private.My love of Doxa and specifically the T.Graph, is well known
Not so true, it won't fucking grow into a swan, this thing.A true ugly duckling
Reckon it's more like the Doxa trolls' tenth coming into the collective anus of their worshippers.but if you’re a Doxa devotee, this was akin to a second coming of Neptune himself.
Yeah, that doesn't look very practical.Oris Aquis GMT Date
What innovation?Despite the runaway success of Oris’s Diver 65 line, which is a standard bearer for vintage style dive watches, it is the company’s Aquis line where we see the real innovation and variety.
Certainly not underwater.And while the GMT Date may not be a pure diver since it lacks an elapsed time scale on the bezel, it’s more than ready for rough duty, underwater or topside
Otherwise.A clever 24-hour ring integration and that bold ceramic top ring, with a lovely blue and yellow color scheme, make this Aquis a top sports watch, diving or otherwise.
Diving in caves and cenotes is dangerous as it is. This thing would be a qualifying factor for a Darwin Award for whoever would drown while using it.GMT divers might just be the most versatile watch genre out there, begging to be taken to far flung cenotes and lagoons and this Oris is at the top of the heap.
A horrible take on what'd otherwise be relatively useful, perhaps not counting the size.Rolex Sea-Dweller Steel + Gold
A good round-up.What’s a good “Best Of” roundup without a controversial choice?
Either it's meant to be practical, or it has gold parts. Let's be frank, 18K gold sucks as dive watch case/bezel/bracelet material. This one only makes sense as a fashion statement. Which is OK. Implying that this one has any tool watch nature to it...nope.This is the best of what Rolex does: luxe sports watches with unsurpassed quality, durability and finishing.
Not bad. Not practical, but not bad.Rado Captain Cook Automatic
It certainly does lose a lot of wearability. I know, I've checked it out. Top-heavy. Even the Longines LLD with its ridiculously long lugs feels more balanced.The Captain Cook Automatic is now available in a 42-millimeter case with a screw-down crown and 200 meters of water resistance. While the original 37mm size was charming, the bigger one loses none of its appeal
Tudor Black Bay P01
Is the "P" for "Pillock?"
As a paperweight or a fashion statement.But you know what? It works.
What functionality?I find the watch strangely appealing, in much the same way I like Doxas—avant garde in the name of innovative functionality.
I guess that's all. Or, bottom line, it's as much Donkey braying as I could handle. That's also likely all for this year.
Last edited by MKTheVintageBloke on December 28th 2019, 8:02pm, edited 1 time in total.
I always hope for the best. Experience, unfortunately, has taught me to expect the worst.
Elim Garak, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Rule of Acquisition no.285
Elim Garak, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Rule of Acquisition no.285
