Bring a Brain XXXV

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MKTheVintageBloke
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Bring a Brain XXXV

Post by MKTheVintageBloke » November 13th 2019, 4:58pm

Hello and welcome, lads and lasses! Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more! Yours truly is back with another fine selection of listings. Said listings are up for a good thrashing in this comedy/watchdog series you all know and love.
The game's afoot! Follow your spirit, and upon this charge...
Lads and lasses, this is your Bring a Brain!

Where, oh, where does one go for a fair share of jollies of the "you're doing it wrong" kind? Well, that'd be Hodinkee.

We're kicking it off with the great return of the vintage watch world's most popular magic trick - the Calatrava Houdini!
https://shop.hodinkee.com/collections/v ... n-ref-4222
Ahhh, Herrgott... If you're really set on fleecing someone for a time-only watch, you do a Calatrava Houdini. This means, that you're referring to a non-Patek product by a trademark of Patek's. OK, so you're selling burgers from a street booth. That's fine. But it's not bloody fine if you call it the Big Mac or the Whopper, and you're not McDonald's or Burger King.
Of the watch itself - non-Oyster Rolexes are perhaps less usual than Oyster case Rolexes, but they're not uncommon.

Looks like, unfortunately, they're yet again going back to their old ways... This is reflected by this "gem," without a shot of the movement.
https://shop.hodinkee.com/collections/v ... 782624843#
The movement is listed as an ETA 2472. Given the absence of the movement shot, some questions come to mind. In what condition is the movement? Have they even looked inside the case? Or have they just taken a word for it from whoever consigned/sold it to them, and now they're asking their buyers to take their worthless word for it?
Pig in a poke, mesdames et messieurs! Just $3.8K for a pig in a poke!

And the pig in a poke galore continues with this Heuer Monaco:
https://shop.hodinkee.com/collections/v ... 9727324235
We're only as good as the word we keep. What does that tell us of people who never even tried to keep theirs? And yet once more they ask their buyers to take their word for it. I'm gonna pay you in Free City of Danzig guldens, they're quite as worthless as yer word. Though at some point they were worth anything, which already would make that overpaying...


The site of the King of Cape Cod is temporarily down, but the Google search result for "vintagecaliber" has this address annotated with a "coming soon." Your Crafty Majesty, you might well redesign the site, but what can the finest wrapper do, if it shrouds not a chocolate, but a bovine dropping? King of Cape Cod on Bring a Brain - coming soon!

Now, let's get carried away by true wilderness of far, far worse rubbish on the market. It's like a redial jungle this time... Further reading calls for a proper soundtrack! Welcome to the jungle...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1tj2zJ2Wvg
...we got fun and redials!

So, let's go to someone we didn't have on BaB for quite some time - Romain Rea, the infamous owner of the equally (though perhaps more) infamous auction house, Antiquorum.
I'm not sure if I haven't bashed this one before...but a truly dreadful redial this Constellation undoubtedly is:
http://www.romainrea.com/en/men-watches ... o-843.html

No less dreadful is the mismatched handset on this UG...
http://www.romainrea.com/en/men-watches ... -1385.html

Or the repainted dial on this Patek:
http://www.romainrea.com/en/men-watches ... 2-283.html
Did a dog eat the comma?
Horrible.

Now...wannabuysomegarbage?

Or potatoes?
https://wannabuyawatch.com/product/role ... irca-1941/

"Potato" patina. Uhhhh, no.

Don't want potatoes, got some redials? Well, yes, they do!
https://wannabuyawatch.com/product/role ... rca-1940s/

The previous one was Potato Patina, this one's Potato Print.

So, how many potatoes have they carved up for the sake of making some redials?
Definitely some...
https://wannabuyawatch.com/product/role ... irca-1946/
https://wannabuyawatch.com/product/role ... irca-1948/
https://wannabuyawatch.com/product/omeg ... irca-1954/

Somehow, I feel better not knowing how many poor potatoes were made into dial print templates by them... Potato butchers, the lot.


Now, a strong rival to the throne of the King of Cape Cod - the Prince of Paintbrushes!

Because every Omega is just so much better, when an orangutan tries to make it a "Teddington:"
https://www.vintage-portfolio.com/shop/ ... lack-dial/

Ahhh, the charm of all things hand-made...or hand-vandalised...
https://www.vintage-portfolio.com/shop/ ... lack-dial/

What would any line-up of redials be without one with its hour markers just drowned in tar?
https://www.vintage-portfolio.com/shop/ ... a-cal-265/

Yeahhh, Omega's a bad idea. How about this lovely, all-brassed, mangled crumpet of a watch, for just 620 euro?
https://www.vintage-portfolio.com/shop/ ... ary-watch/


No, no, no! Nay, by Jove! Omega it is, and it can't be anything else than this wonderful, astounding, gobsmacking, vomit-inducing Ultra Rare Potato Print Constellation Calatrava!
https://www.vintage-portfolio.com/shop/ ... -full-set/
Whoever repainted that, did so on some really heavy fuel...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7j3KX-N9wo

Uhhh, where did I put that bucket, why isn't it there when so badly do I need it now...

That's all for today's Bring a Brain! Unfortunately, yours truly can only handle so much rubbish at a time. Rest assured that Bring a Brain will be back, because Bring a Brain will always be back when necessary!
You cannot explain away a wantonly immoral act, because you think that it is connected to some higher purpose.
Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation
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