Donkey Stew in REL Sauce

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Donkey Stew in REL Sauce

Post by MKTheVintageBloke » December 7th 2018, 1:55pm

Every now and then, I have a look at the Donkey site. Why? Mostly to check if yet again they have published - or put up for sale - something laughable, if not laughably pathetic.
With the Donkeys' 10th anniverary there, it's one massive wankfest. Every Donkey chooses their favourite Donkey story from the 10 years of Donkeys' existence. Or, as they put it, their "favorite HODINKEE story." I wonder why do they abuse Caps Lock so much when writing the name of their blog. I mean, if someone really needs to refer to himself in all uppercase letters, there's no other conclusion than that it's a matter of compensating for a fairly obvious complex. But I digress.
Recently, we have seen REL publish an interview with REL on the REL site. The Donkeys, ever the masters of the not-so-noble art of fapping in front of the mirror, had to come up with an epic mirror fap of their own.

Say hello to Benny the Donkey and his choice of favourite Donkey story:

Yes, whose other story could the Supreme Donkey have chosen, if not his own?
I be the High Priest of Horology
To me thou shalt pray
Listen, all ye unworthy
And hear me fucking bray!

I could pick a story that I was immensely proud of personally, like my look inside Rolex.

Fap, fap, fap.

Or one that I think changed the way we create content here at HODINKEE, coupling lifestyle story telling with hard core watchnerdery and a dose of original videography. This could be favorite, or this, this, or this.

All the stories that this paragraph links to (links in the article itself), are by... Benny the Donkey! Fap, fap, fap. Fap!

I think my greatest contribution to the world of horology is helping amplify the weird and wonderful voices of others – like Jack, Cara, Stephen, Jon, Joe, Jason, James, Isaac, and in years past, Blake Buettner (now head of Watches at StockX), Louis Westphalen (now head of digital marketing at Breitling), Arthur Touchot (now head of digital for Phillips Watches), Eric Wind (all around vintage watch guru), John Reardon (now department head of Christie's), Paul Boutros (now Head of Americas for Phillips Watches), and more.

No, your greatest contribution would be growing a spine, which can't be expected of the industry's errand boy.

Still, if I was forced to pick one story that makes me smile to this very day, it would have to be The Road To Basel Episode Two.

Incidentally, by Benny the Donkey. (*sounds of fapping and donkey braying in the background*)

And to be clear, the fact that this story has my name on the byline is a disservice – the few hundred written words mean nothing without that beautifully paced four minutes and thirteen seconds of video produced single handedly by Mr. Will Holloway, my drinking buddy from grad school.

Fap, fap, fap, ingratiation.

This is a story about celebrating someone and something special, which remains at the very core of what HODINKEE is about today.

The diary of a hooker would be a far better story of what Hoodwinkee is about today.

Yikes, can't read more of that verbal wankfest. I may vomit.

For those interested: I don't know when will I post the next Bring a Brain. Possibly in January. However, if the Donkeys publish anything revolting enough, rest assured that yours truly will not fail to do his duty of being most thorough in bashing it.
I always hope for the best. Experience, unfortunately, has taught me to expect the worst.
Elim Garak, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

No good deed ever goes unpunished.
Rule of Acquisition no.285
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