- Master of Time
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Lads and lasses, as always it is my pleasure to welcome all of you to the next instalment of Bring a Brain! As always, this comedy/watchdog series brings you some real gems for a good laugh. In today's instalment, some poor movement identification, fleecefests, and teabagged redials. Without further ado... The game's afoot! Follow your spirit, and upon this charge...
First up, this Datejust:
There are fast learners, slow learners, and those who never learn. Three guesses which sort the H-Shop fellows are... No, it's not the cal.1570! It's the cal. 1575. "Why?", you ask for the nth time. Because, dear Shop team, who vet your stock so carefully that you better not seek a career in bomb disposal, the cal. 1570 does not have a date complication. It's a time-only movement.
Time for this Breitling:
Regardless of the metal used for the main bloc, be it steel or brass, it's still gold plated. And no, it's not "light discolouration" around the pushers and crown - ahhh, the euphemisms... It's as if you'd pick up a rotting, fetid flounder, and call it produce of second freshness, just perfect to be served with chips.
Now, this Venus-but-not-calibre-170-powered Singer chrono:
What's wrong with the movement identification performed on this one? I'll leave you to your deductions. Clue? Reggie stirs. More things don't check out, though.
This Royce happens to be a fleecefest and case material misidentification in one:
No! No, by Jove! No! It's not stainless steel! FOND acier inoxydable - you might really want to get a French-English dictionary, although all you need is to type "translate.google.com" into your browser's address bar... 1200 bucks for a chrome plated, not particularly desirable watch? Christ on a bike!
OK, now that we've dealt with the usual suspects, here's another dealer, who - while not under the BaB loupe for that long - has already earned a spot on Bring a Brain for their offerings. Lads and lasses, hail the King of Cape Cod!
First up for barrage, this Tissot:
Look at that font. Look at the perfunctory printing on the registers. Then, with yer hand on yer heart, do me a favour and tell me, that you do really believe your line about the "original and untouched champagne dial." Oh, this is like going to the movies, no? Well, maybe not. Maybe it's like going to a bazaar in Bodrum (or, for that matter, any other bazaar to the east of the Bosphorus), and hearing the stall owners yell, "Original fake Nikes, for you cheap, cheap, I give special price, just 200 euro!" Away with that teabagged redial!
Obviously, the case has been polished. I thought that the ratio of unpolished to polished pieces offered there is something like 1:20, now I'm thinking, like, 1:30?
Now, this UN chrono:
Dunno how about you, lads and lasses, but I'd bet a pint that it's not the Valjoux 23, and is in fact its big brother, the Valjoux 22. OK, no need to buy me a pint, no bets needed. We all know it's the 22.
A nice pattern, likely oil-pressed, but not guilloche as such.
I hope you have all enjoyed this week's round-up, lads and lasses, and as always - Bring a Brain will return if necessary!
Captain Jean-Luc Picard, Star Trek: The Next Generation