Watchlords

http://forums.watchuseek.com/f11/bring-brain-xxii-4632903.html

Hello and welcome to the 22nd instalment of Bring a Brain! This one will be shorter than BaB usually is, but then again, it isn't the purpose of this watchdog/comedy series to consist of long episodes, but ones that will serve as a source of knowledge and laughs. Lads and lasses, this is your Bring a Brain!

First, a certain advertorial site's Shop, and their listings.

https://shop.hodinkee.com/collections/vintage-watches/products/1950s-omega-automatic-in-stainless-steel?variant=2161696964623
This Omega Geneve has escaped my attention the first time, but it does deserve a good look - mostly because the movement is just one big "nope."
First of all, the ref. 14703 has been introduced in the 1950s, in 1959 to be precise, but the serial of this one points to 1960-1961.
The rotor is heavily worn, and the tone of the plating on it is quite noticeably different than the one found on the rest of the movement. The wear to it is quite extensive. The case back appears to have traces of rubbing. Which means that a)it's not the first rotor that it has, and b)this one also was or still is rubbing against the case back.
"Caliber: automatic caliber movement." No, seriously, it's right in front of their eyes. It's an elephant in the room, and it sits right on the train bridge, and they just happen not to notice it, going with the usual annotation for movements that they were not capable of identifying. By Jove, who was in charge of authenticating this watch?

1930s Universal Geneve chrono:
https://shop.hodinkee.com/collections/vintage-watches/products/1930s-universal-geneve-early-compur?variant=5403135049743
First of all, it's not signed "Compur" anywhere... Ahhh, the struggle for giving nicknames and model names that a watch never had. What it does have, is extensive wear to the movement. Not like it's all caked in filth and old grease like the movements in most of the watches they sell, but obviously, whoever owned it in the past, skipped service more than once, and didn't really take good care of the watch. "Light wear to the case", as they put it, appears to be some rather heavy pitting in the steel, and Breguet numerals - unlike the numerals on this watch - happen to be italicized.

UG Monodate:
https://shop.hodinkee.com/collections/vintage-watches/products/1950s-universal-geneve-monodate?variant=5403138424847
"The movement is in running condition, and the date function is advancing correctly at this time." Sounds almost as if it was to break down the moment it reaches a new buyer. That said, obviously unserviced (well, that's the most unfortunate standard there, no?), and while the movement's not all greasy and filthy, it will require a service.


Now, lads and lasses, it's time for YouTubers who pretend to know anything (with a rather poor result), and their shop! Lads and lasses, T&H!

Just look at this:
https://theoandharris.com/vintage-watch-shop/vintage-watches/yema/
Dirt-common 1980s quartz, and...$885? It's the 7th of February, not the 1st of April! You've got to be bloody kidding me!

Now, this Omega:
https://theoandharris.com/vintage-watch-shop/vintage-watches-sold/omega-calendar/
The dial is in poor condition, and the date disk looks repainted. I mean, the dial's all worn, and then there's the wonky 8 on the date wheel, the background of which is as white as The Grand Tour's Richard Hammond's teeth.
Most Omega Calendars from the early 1950s were signed "Swiss Made", not "Swiss", and most of them belonged to the Seamaster collection - this one is marked neither Seamaster nor Calendar, which is rather odd. Not that these things necessarily indicate a redial, as the printing, font and minute track alignment appear to be OK.


Let's move to another shop - previously, BaB has covered their fondness of the Cape Cod cloth and the dremel. Today...Yes, we're gonna look at some more cases of capecodclothicide.

https://vintagecaliber.com/products/1955-patek-philippe-ref-2458-pink-on-pink
"Mint condition, professionally and lightly polished." No!!! Either it's mint, or it's polished. Can't be both. Just like something can't be clean and dirty at the same time. "Up for sale, this very clean Land Rover Defender, which just drove through a swamp and a muddy pasture full of sheep droppings." Yes, that adds up the same way as their assessment of the condition of the case.
"Precise chronometer-grade manual-winding movement with sweep seconds." Where do you see a sweep second on this watch? By Jove...

https://vintagecaliber.com/collections/all/products/1967-jaeger-lecoultre-jumbo-memovox-date-ref-e855
"Professionally polished to factory specs, showing no traces of use." That's the nth time they use that lengthy oxymoron. Most listings have that - it's like Groundhog Day, same scenario (capecodclothicide) over and over again.

https://vintagecaliber.com/collections/all/products/1950-iwc-schaffhausen-cal-89-jumbo-claw-lugs
Same case condition assessment. Episode VII: The Dremel Awakens

https://vintagecaliber.com/collections/all/products/1947-jaeger-lecoultre-cal-450-dresswatch
Episode VIII: The Last Cape Cod.

That's all for this instalment of Bring a Brain! Hope those who sought entertainment, were entertained, and those who sought knowledge, were illuminated. Until next time! Bring a Brain will return if necessary!

T&H obviously has the market for suckers cornered. Well done.

Funny and accurate, a bit like a Hublot.

Don't hit me!

TemerityB wrote:T&H obviously has the market for suckers cornered. Well done.

Thanks, TB!

bobbee wrote:Funny and accurate, a bit like a Hublot.

Don't hit me!

Well, if we ever meet, remind me that I owe you a round and a kick in the arse

I like it when a Watchlord breaks balls that need to be broken.

conjurer wrote:I like it when a Watchlord breaks balls that need to be broken.

Meant me and Bob breaking each other's balls, or me breaking Donkey and YouTuber balls?
Anyway, breaking balls is the daily routine, and all balls are eventually broken. Isn't that so? Well, certainly the place wouldn't be the same without some ballbreaking.

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:

conjurer wrote:I like it when a Watchlord breaks balls that need to be broken.

Meant me and Bob breaking each other's balls, or me breaking Donkey and YouTuber balls?
Anyway, breaking balls is the daily routine, and all balls are eventually broken. Isn't that so? Well, certainly the place wouldn't be the same without some ballbreaking.

Well, Mr. Bloke, there's breaking balls, and breaking balls. When you and your pals get together at the public house and hoist a few flagons of mead, and somebody starts making fun of your shoes or something, that's breaking balls, like between you and Bob. Then there's breaking balls, where you stuff Hondickey's wedding tackle into a vise and screw it down, until the poor fuck's eyes pop out of his fucking head due to the hydrostatic shock.

I hope this clears things up.

conjurer wrote:

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:

conjurer wrote:Then there's breaking balls, where you stuff Hondickey's wedding tackle into a vise and screw it down, until the poor fuck's eyes pop out of his fucking head due to the hydrostatic shock.

This is the duty of all Lords. If you are not up for it then this isn't the pace for you.

MK, however, seems more than up to the task

bedlam wrote:

conjurer wrote:

MKTheVintageBloke wrote:

conjurer wrote:Then there's breaking balls, where you stuff Hondickey's wedding tackle into a vise and screw it down, until the poor fuck's eyes pop out of his fucking head due to the hydrostatic shock.

This is the duty of all Lords. If you are not up for it then this isn't the pace for you.

MK, however, seems more than up to the task

Well said, and quite true. While we're pretty small here compared to other watch fora, we punch--or, more precisely--break balls well above our weight. As a self-sustaining forum, we don't have to kowtow to some bullshit microbrand or China-based-supposedly-Swiss manufacturer who want to sell their shit here. Through the hard work of Koi and many others here, we've become the standard of what a watch forum should be. People who want to get into the hobby should make WLs one of their first stops, because we don't give a shit about anything but the truth. We are the Scythians of the hobby; we travel light, master our weapons, and from our fleet horses look down upon settlements of Geeks and shitheels, and then, when they least expect it, we charge down the hill and put their village to the torch, break balls with alacrity, and take their women--if they're worth it, which they usually ain't.

Mr. Bloke's very fine BaB is the newest attack against bullshit. Many kudos to he, I say!

A lord through & through. Well done.

conjurer wrote:Then there's breaking balls, where you stuff Hondickey's wedding tackle into a vise and screw it down, until the poor fuck's eyes pop out of his fucking head due to the hydrostatic shock.

Sounds like the very essence of Bring a Brain alright

bedlam wrote:MK, however, seems more than up to the task

Glad you think so, Carl. After all, I just wouldn't be Mr.Bloke if I didn't break Donkey and YouTuber balls every now and then, would I?

koimaster wrote:A lord through & through. Well done.

conjurer wrote:Well said, and quite true. While we're pretty small here compared to other watch fora, we punch--or, more precisely--break balls well above our weight.

Ball-breaking on the corporate forums (Wuss, TiredZone) would be biting the hand that feeds

Anyone noticed that Wuss in particular is now being populated by computer bots spouting artificial, NLP-style language from "users" with randomly-generated names? They read the text, and generate machine-learned responses designed to reinforce messages. The Eterna thread is a good recent example of this. To your average internet reader, who has the attention span of a gnat, a user with 12,000 posts opining in a balanced manner based on publicly-accessible, triangulated sources of information is weighted equally in terms of influence to "watchRPA59473" saying "It is a shame about Eterna they are outgoing of business an end ." or some other barely syntactic nonsense.

I wonder if these robots are being placed by the Big Six (Seiko, Citizen, SwatchCo, Richemont, Rolexco, LVMH - but especially the European ones). The volume forums have been exploited by corporations for ages; but these days, who can tell between the opinion of a genuinely private individual, a paid shill/stooge, or the guerilla marketing unit of multi-billion company?

I'm not saying that multi-billion companies are inherently bad. Some companies are big, some are small. I'm just saying that some of their tactics are from the box marked "cunt", that's all.