- ASSHAT & Master of Time
- Posts: 31982
- Joined: July 13th 2010, 10:00pm
The Long Journey of Admiral Spunkmeier
This is the story of a watch and the many hands it passed through. It was, outwardly, a pretty modest watch, a simple Timex quartz three hand, purchased for $35 at a Target store. Foghorn, the first owner, decided in July of 2015 to put together a pass-around watch affair, where the watch would be sent from member to member, all Illustrious Lords, for their impressions and experiences of the Timex. It was a simple plan—each member in turn would get the watch, wear it for a few days, take some pictures, and then send it along to the next Lord on the list.
The Timex, dubbed, for no apparent reason, the Admiral Uhren de Spunkmeier, shortened later to Admiral Spunk and finally just the Admiral, came into my hands later in July. While the Admiral was no Patek, it was a solid, workmanlike quartz watch, with a smallish stainless steel case, the very cool Timex Indiglo (which illuminated the dial with a press of the crown), and a simple NATO strap that I didn’t totally fucking hate, as I do most NATOs. What impressed me was that Timex could make such a solid and attractive watch for so cheap and still make a profit.
The next Lord to get his grubby hands on the Admiral was biglove in Louisiana, where he had a reaction to the strap—or perhaps from the DNA which I may or may not have left on it. After a stay in some godforsaken swamp, the Admiral crossed the Pacific and landed on artman’s doorstep in Guam. There he took some much deserved time off at the white sands beaches and took a bath in Lysol. From there the Admiral went to Queens, New York, where he stayed with Lord tiktok. He was shown a great time, with a sail out on water somewhere around NYC, along with a trip to various colorful and intriguing neighborhoods of that storied town.
Lest this become a half-ass travelogue, let’s just say that the Admiral certainly got around. From NYC he went to Germany, with member gerdson, and then tragedy nearly struck—the Admiral was nearly lost at sea! Or at least in the goddamn German postal system. Days passed, and Lord Tz, who was next on the pass-around list, waited. As did the whole world; what had become of the Admiral? Did he fall from the airplane flying over the vast Atlantic to die a true sailor’s death beneath the waves? Or was he on the wrist of some hairy Portuguese stevedore? Candles were lit, prayers were muttered, and the entire planet held its breath.
But like any good old salt, the Admiral reappeared, none the worse for wear (or Lysol), first in old Virginny, then to Oregon, where Smellody showed him a good time, then down to sunny California to Lord Nuvolari, back to Oregon again to Lord Mark1, and finally across the continent again, to Lord Dr. Morningwood. I will not bore you, gentle reader, with all the ups and downs and high jinks that the Admiral shared with his many custodians; you can read them on the forum, along with some truly fine pictures of the Admiral in his many locales, wearing many different shoes, too.
And so the Admiral is home, finally, and soon to go to a new home.
What is the Admiral, then? Just a watch? I think not. The Admiral is what Watchlords is about. It is said that anybody who loves good watches is our brother—and the Admiral, which his many miles behind him and his many adventures, is nothing but a good watch. He has survived his POW-like confinement with the German Post, he has survived being strapped to a Rolls windshield wiper, he has survived being attached to a snowblower, for Christ’s sakes. And through it all, he has kept the time, he has been truthful, he has been honest, he has been an ambassador to all out there who love and cherish watches and what they mean to us. He has become something more than a simple Timex bought for $35 at Target—he has become a Watchlord, and a Watchlord icon. To us, what a man spends on his watch is unimportant. A good watch will be accurate and trustworthy and it might cost $35 or $35,000.
The Admiral, then, is an important timepiece. Few of us will travel as many miles as he, nor have the same adventures, but all of us who have lived briefly with the Admiral hold him in high regard, because he himself is a Watchlord, and that’s good enough for anybody.