The fuck's wrong with Timex? Since when is it OK around here to have some Chinks whip up a $20 watch and sell it for $180? Fucking Mr. Codguy is right; it's a shiny thing in the corner.
"Oh, look! It's a new Timex!!!"
"Oh, it's all yellow!!"
I mean, really. So fucking what. Some offshore company revives a brand that, if we want to be fucking serious about shit, was sold on rotating plastic fucking endcaps in Woolworth's. Yeah, my first watch was a Timex, so the fuck what? You want to know something? I grew the fuck up. I don't need a fucking bus pass anymore, because now, you know, I'm a fucking adult, and I can afford a lot better than some goddamned, Cabriole-up-the-ass inducing piece of shit from the PRC.
Shall I continue? I think that I will.
The Marlin was, I suppose, OK. It was a mechanical watch, at least, that didn't totally fucking suck. I got one for my brother, who wears it a lot, but he's a fucking moron. To me, if you have a few nice watches in the watch box, who the fuck would waste a fucking day of his life wearing a fucking quartz Timex? Yeah, I suppose you could fire up the turntable of your Emerson console Hi-Fi, mix up a few High Balls, and listen to some Martin fucking Denny LPs and watch some Beta-Max recordings of NB fucking C's Wide World of motherfucking Sports whilst wearing your Timex quartz yeller wartche. Afterwards, you can jack the fuck off to some Serena vs. John Holmes porn, and then maybe watch McMillan & Wife on fucking METV, and then go to Golden fucking Corral for some overcooked fucking prime rib and catching the goddamn COVID and fucking dying.
My little brain can't even comprehend how deep that is.
--beefsupreme, commenting on his super rare Deep Blue wartche