Which Is The Worst...?

watches under $1000
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What Is The World Garbage Watch Brand?

Invicta
6
32%
Croton
1
5%
Stuhrling Original/Akribos XXIV
5
26%
Stauer
7
37%
Swiss Legend
0
No votes
Thomas Earnshaw
0
No votes
MVMT
0
No votes
Android/Aragon
0
No votes
Egard
0
No votes
Other
0
No votes
 
Total votes: 19

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NorthCountry
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Re: Which Is The Worst...?

Post by NorthCountry » November 23rd 2020, 3:32pm

I think Croton is dead. Someone please tell the Merm.

Stauer, even though I own one and only one, is the worst. Hell, lump in Daniel Stiger, yuck!

Mvmt= meh.

Aragon isn't what I'd hoped Liang was going to do post Google payday. If he ever comes to his senses and makes a reasonably sized good looking sports watch in the 36mm to 40mm range then maybe I'd entertain the idea of getting one.

Invicta: gets people into and interested in watches, is the kindest thing that I can say. We've tried to reach as many fanbois as we can to smarten'em up! Almost all, eventually, come around from their stupor. Except Bob, that motherfletcher will be buried in a yellow 6ft dive case.
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Re: Which Is The Worst...?

Post by TemerityB » November 23rd 2020, 3:57pm

NorthCountry wrote:
November 23rd 2020, 3:32pm
I think Croton is dead. Someone please tell the Merm.

Stauer, even though I own one and only one, is the worst. Hell, lump in Daniel Stiger, yuck!

Mvmt= meh.

Aragon isn't what I'd hoped Liang was going to do post Google payday. If he ever comes to his senses and makes a reasonably sized good looking sports watch in the 36mm to 40mm range then maybe I'd entertain the idea of getting one.

Invicta: gets people into and interested in watches, is the kindest thing that I can say. We've tried to reach as many fanbois as we can to smarten'em up! Almost all, eventually, come around from their stupor. Except Bob, that motherfletcher will be buried in a yellow 6ft dive case.
I forgot all about Daniel Steiger. Haven't seen one of those in ages!
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Re: Which Is The Worst...?

Post by TemerityB » November 23rd 2020, 8:05pm

Explaining the choices:

Invicta is evil. At best. If you don't know why, just type in the brand and go through the archives. The mouse prefers 'em. What more proof do you need? They have kiosks in malls - not stores, kiosks. They force their employees to wear those garish yellow T-shirts. Their fans consider the former WIT Robert to be a horological genius, mainly because he owns doubles of every watch these shysters have issued since 2009.

Croton tried to complete with the Invictas of the world at one point on TV, but now they just offer Ali Baba-style dollar watches with their name slapped on them. The Merm, sadly, isn't even trying any more.

Stuhrling Original/Akribos XXIV not only fall apart in the boxes they come in even after being unworn, but they are Lord God Kings of blatant design theft (amazingly, prices of these Chinese junk watches have more than doubled since they left the TV brigade). More pure crap with a faux fancy brand name and the provenance of a mail order catalog.

Stauer is more Chinese garbage sold with full-page newspaper ads so shockingly full of dripping BS; they proclaim the wares to somehow be as good as $10,000 Swiss watches and that you're the smart one for paying $59.99 for something just as good. Further proof that a huge percentage of the American population is comprised of born suckers. Not to mention cheapskates.

Swiss Legend watches actually ran, and they'd replace 'em if they went belly up, but their late period wares made SAN IIIs look like Speedmasters. And they employed Zeta male grifter to shill them - followed by, well, Wiley Lowe.

Thomas Earnshaw is now repped by the legendary coronavirus-denying Lowe on Slop - plus, you get a free prize in every box!

MVMT pisses me off no end. $10 watches selling for upwards of $150. There's just no excuse, and for the life of me I can't figure out why people buy these things. (Then again, guys buy those Manscaped shavers, which are essentially the same thing Wahl has been selling for ten bucks in drug stores since forever. Social media ads kill.)

Android/Aragon: We keep hearing about how okay Wing Liang is, but that doesn't excuse those clunky bracelets that pull more hair than The Fabulous Moolah, and straps so stiff they are ranked #19 on PornHub. The 50 cent quartz movements in some of those watches have to be seen to be believed. The hands wobble more than Chris Christie after two-for-one day at Jersey Mike's Subs.

Egard made that stupid William Shatner watch, then got cocky about it. The rest of their watches are unspeakably gaudy, tasteless, and oversized - and sold with such sleazy, out-of-touch hubris - that, gum by dern, these mokes might become the next Eyal Lalo.
Last edited by TemerityB on November 23rd 2020, 8:13pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Which Is The Worst...?

Post by biglove » November 23rd 2020, 8:44pm

TemerityB wrote:
November 23rd 2020, 8:05pm
Explaining the choices:

Invicta is evil. At best. If you don't know why, just type in the brand and go through the archives. The mouse prefers 'em. What more proof do you need? They have kiosks in malls - not stores, kiosks. They force their employees to wear those garish yellow T-shirts. Their fans consider the former WIT Robert to be a horological genius, mainly because he owns doubles of every watch these shysters have issued since 2009.

Croton tried to complete with the Invictas of the world at one point on TV, but now they just offer Ali Baba-style dollar watches with their name slapped on them. The Merm, sadly, isn't even trying any more.

Stuhrling Original/Akribos XXIV not only fall apart in the boxes they come in even after being unworn, but they are Lord God Kings of blatant design theft (amazingly, prices of these Chinese junk watches have more than doubled since they left the TV brigade). More pure crap with a faux fancy brand name and the provenance of a mail order catalog.

Stauer is more Chinese garbage sold with full-page newspaper ads so shockingly full of dripping BS; they proclaim the wares to somehow be as good as $10,000 Swiss watches and that you're the smart one for paying $59.99 for something just as good. Further proof that a huge percentage of the American population is comprised of born suckers. Not to mention cheapskates.

Swiss Legend watches actually ran, and they'd replace 'em if they went belly up, but their late period wares made SAN IIIs look like Speedmasters. And they employed Zeta male grifter to shill them - followed by, well, Wiley Lowe.

Thomas Earnshaw is now repped by the legendary coronavirus-denying Lowe on Slop - plus, you get a free prize in every box!

MVMT pisses me off no end. $10 watches selling for upwards of $150. There's just no excuse, and for the life of me I can't figure out why people buy these things. (Then again, guys buy those Manscaped shavers, which are essentially the same thing Wahl has been selling for ten bucks in drug stores since forever. Social media ads kill.)

Android/Aragon: We keep hearing about how okay Wing Liang is, but that doesn't excuse those clunky bracelets that pull more hair than The Fabulous Moolah, and straps so stiff they are ranked #19 on PornHub. The 50 cent quartz movements in some of those watches have to be seen to be believed. The hands wobble more than Chris Christie after two-for-one day at Jersey Mike's Subs.

Egard made that stupid William Shatner watch, then got cocky about it. The rest of their watches are unspeakably gaudy, tasteless, and oversized - and sold with such sleazy, out-of-touch hubris - that, gum by dern, these mokes might become the next Eyal Lalo.
Everything and more that I wanted to say, and said better than I could have.

Fuck Eyal. If there is justice that Panamanian slime will turn the color of his shit cheese, yellow ratty cloth, box linings.
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Re: Which Is The Worst...?

Post by AJC » November 23rd 2020, 10:04pm

TemerityB wrote:
November 23rd 2020, 8:05pm

Invicta is evil. At best. If you don't know why, just type in the brand and go through the archives. The mouse prefers 'em. What more proof do you need? They have kiosks in malls - not stores, kiosks. They force their employees to wear those garish yellow T-shirts.
There's an Invicta store at my local mall (Christiana Mall outside of Newark, DE).
It's literally a kiosk with walls and windows built around it.
---
-ajc
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Re: Which Is The Worst...?

Post by MAX » November 24th 2020, 5:51am

Best line:
clunky bracelets that pull more hair than The Fabulous Moolah
The last cruise ship I was on (remember those?) had a gift shop with so many Invictas I thought the ship was going to heel over and sink (and it almost did!)
NRPI here.

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Re: Which Is The Worst...?

Post by TemerityB » November 24th 2020, 9:00pm

Datsun240Z71 wrote:
November 24th 2020, 6:54am
The Stauers I see in magazines look appallingly poor in finishing, especially the bracelet models. The $10 watches at Walmart are better.
I was talking to someone before the pandemic and out of the corner of my eye, I noticed he was wearing a typical Stauer - Roman numerals, clunky and tinny bracelet you could hear as the guy walked, dial that looked like it was coated in nail polish - and my brain got all fuzzy and I nearly laughed right out loud. I think he thought I was like really friendly, because the smile never left my face. Little did he know it was really stifled guffaws.

I never make fun of anyone for wearing an inexpensive watch - not everybody wants a luxury watch, or can spend a lot on a watch, of course. I used to wear drug store watches in my 20s. However, buying and owning a Stauer is a calculated life moment - you have to make the phone call or return the coupon or log on. You were swayed by laughably bad ad copy and garish, cheap watches. Says a lot about someone. It's the same with Invicta; nobody sees one out of the blue and says, "that looks good, I'll try it" - home shopping creates dewey-eyed quasi-cult members who buy 900 of them and make living room chairs out of duct-taped dive cases. Them people is touched.
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Re: Which Is The Worst...?

Post by TemerityB » November 28th 2020, 8:41pm

Shocked to see Stauer taking the lead!

More votes, gang. I mean, it must've taken me eight, nine minutes to set up that poll, and even with that, I typoed the headline.

But then again - I'd wager more than a few of us here have never experienced even one of those brands. Which shows how this place has advanced in the past couple of years.
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