Egard Watches on Shop

watches under $!000
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Re: Egard Watches on Shop

Post by TemerityB » January 1st 2015, 6:40pm

Another brand to join Ingersoll, WeWood, SO, and Stauer in the Land of the Meaningless.
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Re: Egard Watches on Shop

Post by Racer-X » January 1st 2015, 8:06pm

Do not care for the Shatner watch although it could be worse. His head is more round than the watch...

http://www.shophq.com/egard-men-s-passages-official-william-shatner-limited-edition-automatic-rubber-strap-watch/629-794.aspx

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Last edited by Racer-X on January 1st 2015, 8:14pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Egard Watches on Shop

Post by Horse Feathers » January 1st 2015, 8:34pm

conjurer wrote:Coming up next week on ShopHQ: The Ejaculate line of watches by Ron Jeremy!


I heard the they are having problems maintaining production levels so the announcement may be premature.

Early prototypes were anticlimactic with performance weaknesses blamed on the "carrier" despite positive past experiences and possibly expectations of " Big Brown" !
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Re: Egard Watches on Shop

Post by TemerityB » January 1st 2015, 8:38pm

Also new to Slop is something called Harding; more Chinese fun from a brand that makes people into watches go "Huh...what...huh!?!"

On its own website, Harding claims to be "based in Uri, Switzerland," but everything on Slop's website, at least, openly states the watches are made in China. When it comes to TV watches: More of the same, every bit as lame.

I love the smoke and mirrors in in the jargon; it's all Swiss this and that, but it's all sleight of hand. From Harding's website:

WHO WE ARE

7 FRIENDS
4 COUNTRIES
A LIFETIME DEDICATED TO QUALITY WATCHES

Basel, Switzerland. April 2013. Seven friends came together one cold spring night to forge their vision for a new brand of timepiece. Overlooking the banks of the River Rhine, in a city known worldwide for its legendary watch fair and high benchmark for design, each of these men brought to the table a key piece of the great Swiss tradition – from design to manufacturing, sales to distribution. With their lifetime of combined expertise with top international brands, these seven friends crafted a new brand dedicated to men of courage, style and independent spirit.

One year later, HARDING was born.

HARDING is based in Uri, Switzerland, the home of the skilled and fearless Middle Age marksman William Tell. His spirit lives on in the shield, whose bullhorns symbolize the bold, impassioned lifestyle that inspires every HARDING timepiece.
Starting with the highest quality Swiss standards, HARDING engineers reimagined the entire watch design and development process. Pairing timeless techniques with modern craftsmanship, the HARDING team creates watches that heighten every experience and enhance every escapade. Whether it’s time to be a gentleman or time to seek adventure, it’s always the right time to thrill with a HARDING watch on your wrist.


This stuff would elict a chuckle if it wasn't so utterly sickening.
Last edited by TemerityB on January 1st 2015, 8:44pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Egard Watches on Shop

Post by conjurer » January 1st 2015, 8:43pm

TemerityB wrote:Also new to Slop is something called Harding; more Chinese fun from a brand that makes people into watches go "Huh...what...huh!?!"

On its own website, Harding claims to be "based in Uri, Switzerland," but everything on Slop's website, at least, openly states the watches are made in China. When it comes to TV watches: More of the same, every bit as lame.


Coming up next week on ShopHQ: The Hardon line of watches by Ron Jeremy!
I find tv watches to be like the guys who raise their truck you need a fricken ladder to get in. It’s a attempt to look cool... that’s all.

--Hawkeye
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Re: Egard Watches on Shop

Post by conjurer » January 1st 2015, 8:44pm

Horse Feathers wrote:
conjurer wrote:Coming up next week on ShopHQ: The Ejaculate line of watches by Ron Jeremy!


I heard the they are having problems maintaining production levels so the announcement may be premature.

Early prototypes were anticlimactic with performance weaknesses blamed on the "carrier" despite positive past experiences and possibly expectations of " Big Brown" !


You knocked that one out of the park, HF.
I find tv watches to be like the guys who raise their truck you need a fricken ladder to get in. It’s a attempt to look cool... that’s all.

--Hawkeye
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Re: Egard Watches on Shop

Post by Racer-X » January 1st 2015, 8:48pm

conjurer wrote:
Horse Feathers wrote:
conjurer wrote:Coming up next week on ShopHQ: The Ejaculate line of watches by Ron Jeremy!


I heard the they are having problems maintaining production levels so the announcement may be premature.

Early prototypes were anticlimactic with performance weaknesses blamed on the "carrier" despite positive past experiences and possibly expectations of " Big Brown" !


You knocked that one out of the park, HF.


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Re: Egard Watches on Shop

Post by conjurer » January 1st 2015, 8:56pm

Horse Feathers wrote:^Thanks Conj for perfect setup


Any time, bro!

Truthfully, there are but a few guys in the world who are walking punchlines, and Ron Jeremy, the Carrot Top of porn, is one of them--albeit with a very large schlong, bobbing up and down as he walks. Many studs have come and gone, but the Hedgehog just continues to, well, come. Indeed, he still spills more seed than a farmer with Parkinson's.
I find tv watches to be like the guys who raise their truck you need a fricken ladder to get in. It’s a attempt to look cool... that’s all.

--Hawkeye
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Re: Egard Watches on Shop

Post by Mortuus Fakeuus » January 1st 2015, 9:09pm

Captain's Log, Stardate 33356 Point 6: I continue to be bombarded by images of the horrific watches the Egards made me sign my name to, watches so ugly that I would welcome mental pictures of Jill Somerschlong's manly pudenda, Kendy Klubfoot's scaly skintones, and even Melissa Cole-Miner's huge, apple-shaped head. Spock was of no help whatsoever, choosing instead to throw his half-full oxygen bottle at me; my head still hurts, damn him to Hades. The universe as I have known it is lost; McCoy is dead, Sulu is wearing Uhura's negligees and saying things like, "Halloo, captain, how 'bout some penis butter cereal?" And Scotty just sits there, with Uhura kneeling between his legs as he yells, "Captain, she's gonna blow!" And Chekhov...poor Chekhov. Burned his balls in a bowl of boiling borscht...

And this terrible watch looks like something Lloyd Bridges used to strap onto his face during the opening credits of Seahunt, Season 3.

Kirk out.
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Re: Egard Watches on Shop

Post by conjurer » January 1st 2015, 9:16pm

Mortuus wrote:Jill Somerschlong's manly pudenda


This may be the cleverest thing written since the death of Oscar Wilde.
I find tv watches to be like the guys who raise their truck you need a fricken ladder to get in. It’s a attempt to look cool... that’s all.

--Hawkeye
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Re: Egard Watches on Shop

Post by TemerityB » January 1st 2015, 9:19pm

conjurer wrote:
Mortuus wrote:Jill Somerschlong's manly pudenda


This may be the cleverest thing written since the death of Oscar Wilde.



Wow. Makes me wanna hang up my Scripto forever, that's so good.
WatchGeeks will go down in watch forum history as the worst watch related site that existed. Trolls, threats, bannings, and owners and sponsors talking out of their collective asses to fleece people out of hard earned money. - Koimaster
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Re: Egard Watches on Shop

Post by Mortuus Fakeuus » January 1st 2015, 9:19pm

conjurer wrote:
Mortuus wrote:Jill Somerschlong's manly pudenda


This may be the cleverest thing written since the death of Oscar Wilde.

Whale, eye guess ah better admit that eye dunn stoal it frum ewe, Cornponer...
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Re: Egard Watches on Shop

Post by biglove » January 1st 2015, 9:36pm

Mortuus wrote:Captain's Log, Stardate 33356 Point 6: I continue to be bombarded by images of the horrific watches the Egards made me sign my name to, watches so ugly that I would welcome mental pictures of Jill Somerschlong's manly pudenda, Kendy Klubfoot's scaly skintones, and even Melissa Cole-Miner's huge, apple-shaped head. Spock was of no help whatsoever, choosing instead to throw his half-full oxygen bottle at me; my head still hurts, damn him to Hades. The universe as I have known it is lost; McCoy is dead, Sulu is wearing Uhura's negligees and saying things like, "Halloo, captain, how 'bout some penis butter cereal?" And Scotty just sits there, with Uhura kneeling between his legs as he yells, "Captain, she's gonna blow!" And Chekhov...poor Chekhov. Burned his balls in a bowl of boiling borscht...

And this terrible watch looks like something Lloyd Bridges used to strap onto his face during the opening credits of Seahunt, Season 3.

Kirk out.


I read this in Shatner's style as Kirk. Damn you, Bill Shatner, you rat bastard!
"I always complain because I'm old now and everything hurts."-Mike Rowe
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Re: Egard Watches on Shop

Post by TemerityB » January 30th 2016, 8:10pm

Bump; given today's "big event," I had totally forgotten they had pimped these on Slop first.

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