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Wherein, WoW, talking a page from ShopNBC's CS playbook, sent Mr. Gattshall an obviously used and banged up Swiss Legend Neptune. In his highly polished writing style, Mr. Gattshall informs us:
Used to me is anytime someone returns a watch they wore and it is damaged and that is exactly what I received.
Fair enough, but then Mr. Gattshall documents a descent into a CS hell worthy of Dante:
Now I questioned customer service reps in regards to the process of returns and whether or not WOW inspected them for damage but never got an answer. Although one customer service rep did ask me to inspect the box for a Quality label but one was not found. This lead me to believe that once a watch is returned that there is some sort of incoming inspection done on them but no one at World Of Watches would comment on this.
Being nobody's fool, Mr. Gattshall gets all up in WoW's ass and starts throwing his weight around, being, as he is, A Very Important and Influential Watch Reviewer:
In fact, once I made them aware of who I was and my intentions of documenting this process for my readers no one would really talk to me.
It is not as if I went on a rant telling them to treat me different because I am writing an article on it. I waited until the end of the conversation before explaining who I was.
Perhaps Mr. Gattshall, under the delusion that he was some sort of Ariel Adams watch journalist instead of a Invicta-fanboi-geek with a revolting sense of entitlement because he publishes a third-rate, appalling-written blog on the internet that nobody reads except for me and Temerity (and only because we enjoy breaking his balls) decides that the CS reps were:
...a bit short and rude and I was made to feel like I was bothering them by inquiring about the damaged time piece a received and that I wanted to return. Once again I have to say that the process and timing wasn’t unbearable in anyway but there is a lot of work to do as far as treating a customer like a customer.
Anyway, Mr. Gattshall, after his soul-searing experience with the CS trogs at WoW, finally is able to return his used-piece-of-revolting-fucking-shit with a piece-of-revolting-fucking-shit that's in new condition, which he can actually wear, perhaps to the opening of an Important Art Exhibition or to hob-nob with his fellow Watch Journalists:
Mr. Gattshall then goes on, in a single breathless 379 word paragraph, to review the Neptune:
I am a huge fan of the Swiss Legend Neptune, in fact it is one of my favorite designs and one of the most comfortable watches you can purchase. The Neptune for me is a well-built oversized time piece that fits your wrist so well you often forget you have it on.
This about a 52mm hunk of metal on a rubber strap. But wait! Mr. Gattshall, who never met a TV watch that he didn't spooge over, continues to sing SL's praises like a sodomized choirboy who got not one but two Snickers bars from the degenerate priest:
Forget the cost of the watch because it does not reflect the quality of this time piece what so ever.
From the crystal to the silicon used around the case and for the straps Swiss Legend does not cut corners to keep their watches affordable!
Well, of course not. They cut corners by reselling used watches, but I digress. Mr. Gattshall continues:
The Neptune is an everyday wearer that offers up a great design and eye catching color variations. It is an affordable time piece but does not cut corners to accomplish this. Time 2 Talk Watches highly recommends this time piece rating it up amongst the top values in the industry today!
So everything ends well for Robert--apart that he endures the ultimate buttfuck from Lior, a watch that he loves, and everyone who sees it on his wrist will think is retarded.