Watchlords

I don't feel sorry for Mongo Kid. The only thing he is contemplating is how he could have gotten away with more. He feels bad about nothing, except getting caught. If he figures out a way to hurt more people and take advantage of them, he will do it.

conjurer wrote:

It occurs to me that perhaps Laylo, not being a native English speaker, made a horrible mistake when someone mentioned "Gorilla Marketing".

I don't know how you do it. This is priceless.

Horse Feathers wrote:

Poor Turd head.

Having to listen to Dim Demple is bad enough. Being interrupted by him is even worse. But to have to sit there and listen to Dim interrupt himself must be like wearing a hair shirt with steel wool implants in all the sensitive areas...and Turd head can't just mute the guy or change channels, like we can. One of these days it's gonna be just like that .gif with the poor dude's head exploding...!

Poor Turd head.

All he has to go home to are his rapidly diminishing case of Lectric Shave Frost Lime and a couple of really stinky gerbils in a cage made of coat hangers and Wrigley's Juicy Fruit. Oh, almost forgot; he's also got the Longines Symphonette version of The Making of a Navy SEAL, parts I through VII on DVD...his old VHS of the same title finally defecated into the Wamsutta's one time too many.

It's like he looked at a working watch and realized the bar is closing.

LIES ALL LIES!!! wrote:It's like he looked at a working watch and realized the bar is closing.

Mrs. Temerity: "Who puts that on television?"

Horse Feathers wrote:Conj

Looks like things have gone downhill

This did make me lol.

A bump for Google Images; if you google image Tim Temple Invicta, this is pretty high up.

Also, just because this was the genesis of the "Sad Turd head" gags from Horse Feathers, which were the zenith of Watchlords humor.

conjurer wrote:A bump for Google Images; if you google image Tim Temple Invicta, this is pretty high up.

Also, just because this was the genesis of the "Sad Turd head" gags from Horse Feathers, which were the zenith of Watchlords humor.

One of the great threads in the history of anything.

Prediction: Not that any of this matters to anyone who doesn't have their meals delivered to them via van on a daily basis: Next one to leave the cheese box farm is clearly gonna be Justin Zimmer. I tuned in for a few seconds last night, and the ol' Lalo ass kisser was clearly and visably annoyed by the presence of Todd Newton on the tour-bee-on Invicta hour, as the tattooed and braying former game show host (I swear to God, this clown literally has registered his own nickname: The Host With The Most®) was jabbering and blathering to such an extent that Zimmer clearly couldn't deal with it, and even Invicta Lyin' seemed like he'd rather be anywhere else. Turdling is long gone, Skelton is a fart in the wind - but they've found a guy who is as obnoxious as any of them in the desperately cloying and clowning Newton, and our next Invicter employee revolt is about to begin right in front of everybody. And it's fucking hilarious. Of course, the real bop bag clowns are the simps who order 53mm Chinese tourbillions, but you can't fix stupid. More friction is likely to occur during tonight's presentations; Newton is so over the top grating that I swear he makes Skelton look like Wally Cox, and that's saying something.

They do just keep rollin' on don't they; even behind the ugly truth there's some pitch monger waiting in the wings and a crowd circled 'round to buy- and they get more cartoonish, I guess- the pitch folks and the public just seem to devolve right along with the product- but at least it sells behind the truth- Country of origin: CHINA. That's right.

3Flushes wrote:They do just keep rollin' on don't they; even behind the ugly truth there's some pitch monger waiting in the wings and a crowd circled 'round to buy- and they get more cartoonish, I guess- the pitch folks and the public just seem to devolve right along with the product- but at least it sells behind the truth- Country of origin: CHINA. That's right.

Yep. And that's something that Turd head would never fess up to - and he damn well knew what he was selling.

'Fess up; who watches the Shopping Network(s) just so they can see the Invicta segment?

I'd rather shoot myself.

bbattle wrote: ↑

September 5th 2019, 4:22pm

'Fess up; who watches the Shopping Network(s) just so they can see the Invicta segment?

I'd rather shoot myself.

Long before you ventured here, and not long after this fine forum was formed, Invicta and its sleazy shills were running rampant on ShopNBC, and they were lying (and ripping off consumers) every time they turned around. If you go through our old threads here, you can find out the sheer mendacity (and horrid quality) the company was responsible for. In those days, we'd call 'em out here - and we were right about our views and claims, oh, only about 100 percent of the time - and that goes for the rabble that used to represent them as well. We uncovered so much deep shit about the company that this site became the scourge of diehard Invicter lovers everywhere, particularly WatchGeeks and another short-lived dump where a glorified former dog walker (and a former chicken lovin' member here for about nine seconds before he ran off after we insulted his Ronco Rotisserie Oven) was a MOD. These days, a handful of jilted former members whine at WIT, but they still cry themselves to sleep cuze they ain't a-comin' back here, and good riddance to bad rubbish.

I saw a bit of ShopHQ tonight, but I was flippin' channels during an NFL commercial break. As for tuning in anymore? Rarely; like Larry Magen's Judy Garland Jamboree, Turd head After Midnight, and Wiley Lowe's World Of Secret Warranties, this shit's impossible to watch for longer than five minutes. The best you can say for all this stuff is that it either inspires belly laughs or projectile vomiting. It's fascinating in its sheer awfulness, and remarkable that this transparent shilling actually works on some people in 2019.

Bump, both because of the fact that I'm genuinely proud of the OP, and also because of the searing irony of Mort bringing up stolen valor.