Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!! BIG REVEAL!!

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conjurer
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Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!! BIG REVEAL!!

Post by conjurer » October 6th 2017, 2:33pm

Time for another auction, goddamn it. Like the last one, the proceeds from it will go to St Jude Children's Research Hospital and forum upkeep. Here's the rules:

viewtopic.php?f=1&t=39797

Please read them!

This auction will focus on some icons of the TeeVee wartchs many of us cut (or broke) our teeth on, so pop a cold one, sit back, and enjoy!

Invicta Grand Diver

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This is a big watch. On the wrist:

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Next to my Exploder:

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Interestingly, as elephantine Invicters can be, this one isn't overly elephantine, if that's a term. About 47mm across, 52mm with crown, 15.6mm thick, and (tellingly) 53mm lug to lug, the Grand Diver harkens back to the days when Eyal could, you know, make a fucking watch. Automatic, with SII NH35 movement, with full lume dial, and (I'm guessing) mineral glass, this watch carries the model number 11753. The strap is made of something, and is good and stiff, just the way the girls like it. It comes with real Invicta cheese box and papers!

Oceanaut Seven Seas

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Now, more than a few of us remember the old Oceanaut line; run by an absolute goof named Danny Blair (who went by the name of The Watch Commander on the old ShopAtHome network), it was briefly a darling with the Smart Set. This might have been that Blair, with some genius, got Oceanauts by the hundreds added to celebrity swag bags at big awards shows--and nobody likes free shit like celebrities. Anyway, Blair, who used such terms and phrases like "undestructable," "those are some factual facts!" and "Australian mother of pearl", sold plenty of these watches, which I assume were made for him in Hong Kong, the difference between them and, say, Sturhling was that Oceanauts used to work. This model, the Seven Seas, is a big 200m diver style (I put this in here for Mr. Bloke) that measures 43mm across, 46mm with crown, 14.8mm thick, and 51mm lug to lug. It's got an ETA 2824 movement inside, along with--inexplicably--a 24 hour track on the rehaut, along with city names on the bezel, although there's no 24 hour hand. But it looks cool! IIRC, the Watch Commander used mineral glass for his crystals. The bracelet (extra links included) is well made, with screwed links and a beefy clasp, plus solid end-links. Screw-down crown that feels a bit gritty. Nice wooden box (whose hinges accidently broke in shipment. A really nice watch, boys and girls, and those are some factual facts!

And finally, and for the first time seen on any watch forum ever, the

Renato Tourbillon!!!!!

OK, I'm just fucking around there, but this one is an actual Renato Wildebeest:

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Today it's easy to make fun of Daniel Mink, the brains behind the Renato line--after a series of fuckups, from the tourbillon that never was, to the Black Card deal; from his weird makeover turning him into a corner boy to his leased Audi, La Mink is the stuff of comedic legend in this thing of ours. However, La Mink was also a smart dude--who can forget his well-played assfuck of Turd head on Pastycake's own forum? And, like Oceanaut, the Minkster got some real celebrity endorsement of his products--from Oprah, of all people. For a time, Renato owned the airwaves as ShopNBC's high-end watch brand. While Eyal was always slightly parvenu-ish in his too-tight Polo shirts and weird accent, La Mink was what ShopNBC's core demo aspired to--greasy, shifty, but also well dressed and richer than Croesus. This watch is like a time machine back to those days. Big (46mm across, 52mm with crown, 12mm thick, and an astonishingly 55mm lug to lug), brash, and surprisingly well made, with all the right details: sapphire crystal, screwed links, nice perlage on the clasp, ETA G-10 quartz movement (with new battery!). This is, IIRC, only the second Renato I've seen in real life, and like I said, nicely made and finished.

OK, that's it for this go-round. This auction will run until Sunday, 15 October, ending precisely at 8:00PM Pacific Time. We have here some real nice wartches--err, watches, and also, as an added incentive, each watch will come with another watch! So you'll buy two for the price of one. Or even less than the price of one. Or something. And remember, we're raising money to keep the forum running and helping out kids with cancer and other horrible shit, so take this into account when making your bids.

Enjoy!
Last edited by conjurer on October 17th 2017, 1:03pm, edited 3 times in total.
foghorn
Founding Member & Master of Time
Posts: 20218
Joined: December 18th 2009, 11:00pm

Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Post by foghorn » October 6th 2017, 4:28pm

I once owned the Renato and am surprised at how much it didn't suck. Substantial watches.

I remember The Commaner. I can't get him out of my living room! Wasn't he married to somebody of note?
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Mortuus Fakeuus

Re: Swag-Fest 2! Icons of TeeVee Wartchs!!

Post by Mortuus Fakeuus » October 10th 2017, 11:00am

gerdson wrote:Guys, now don't drive cornjuror crazy again by mizballing Tex averything.

Verdammt, Gerdy! Was ist mit deinem Sinn für Humor passiert? Hat dich jemand daran erinnert, dass du deutsch bist? Kein Spaß mehr für Gerdenheimer... :scratch:
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