Originally posted at TZ

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Originally posted at TZ

Post by foghorn » June 16th 2019, 9:32am

...by rKNY

These are too funny to not post again every few years:

Arrowneous- Mistakenly under the assumption that every watch with a broad arrow somewhere on it is actual military issue.

Ashpulse purchase- Buying a watch you don't truly want just because
you can get it overnight and you have a coupon.

Calatravesty- Wearing a dress watch while rock climbing.

Curiomark- A scratch you make on the back of a watch because you
simply had to see the movement.

Dialalysis Extended examination of a dial with a loupe.

Dialatribe- A long, ranting review of the dislikes of a particular
watch dial.

Discombezelated- A watch with a misaligned bezel.

Escapemint- The candy given out by retail watch dealers to be eaten
while they process your credit card.

Exhibacktionist- One who repeatedly removes their watch to show
off the display back.

Hologramology- The study or practice of the preservation of Rolex

Hororific- An extremely ugly watch.

Invictanitis- A disease affecting the judgement of novice watch buyers.

Langeuish- To feel depressed after the purchase of a watch with a
price tag of 5 or more figures.

Lugcheese- The green stuff found between the lugs of a vintage watch.

Lumiscrutiny- The act of looking for unevenness in luminous hands/markers
in a dark bathroom.

Minervous- The slight trepidation felt just after ordering a watch
with a website's name on the dial.

Mintocchio- A watch dealer who describes every watch they sell as
"mint", regardless of the actual condition.

(see also: Nibnosia Rareiosis)

Nibnosia Rareiosis- A medical condition causing the sufferer to habitually
lie about the condition or desirability of a watch he or she is selling.
(see also: Mintocchio)

Pinjectile- An airborne spring bar.

Polternick- A scratch or dent on your watch that you have no recollection
of making.

Quartzsteria- The brief illusion that your quartz watch has stopped
even though it hasn't.

Rattrepain- A chronograph whose sweep seconds hand does not reset
to zero.

Remorse code- FSOT, LNIB.

Rolexia- The inability to distinguish between quality and popularity.

Seikosis- The repeated purchasing of Japanese watches that never
get worn.

Stitchsker- The short, stiff, stubby piece of stitching found on
the inside of a watch strap that pokes and iritates the wrist.

Strapophrenia- Repeated and obsessive changing of watch straps.

Submerciless- Wearing a sport watch to a funeral.

Valjitters- The vibrations felt emanating from a Valjoux 7750 movement.

Zenophobia- The fear of mediocre watches.
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Re: Originally posted at TZ

Post by MKTheVintageBloke » June 16th 2019, 4:54pm

This can go on and on...

Calatrava Houdini - the act of fleecing ten times the worth of a time-only watch by claiming resemblance to a Patek.

JCB Virus - when a brand starts releasing Hublotesque shit.

Macaronisis - a mental illness; the affected tries to invent Italian nicknames for watches. Usually doesn't speak Italian, and pronounces said nicknames like Lt. Aldo "The Apache" Raine from Inglorious Basterds.

Donkey Gonzo - an Instagram "photographer" desperately trying to take pictures like the ones featured at the Donkeys. Usually these feature a marble table as a background, occasionally a passport and sunglasses.

eBay Raccoon - a hoarder buying "bargain lots" by the ton, usually Bombay Specials and FUBAR pin-levers. A hair short of raiding bins for broken watches that he wouldn't fix anyway.

Overwinder - the "forum expert" diagnosing every broken watch as "overwound." Knows fuck-all.

Whorologist - a cross-breed between a hominid and a mongoloid. Pretends to be a scholar in watches. Knows fuck-all.
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents.
H.P. Lovecraft

I'd send them all an animated gif of Ron Jeremy sucking his own cock.
Conjurer, of people asking about their Doxas
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