Should You Wear A Fake Watch?

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Re: Should You Wear A Fake Watch?

Post by conjurer » September 5th 2018, 9:45am

Ahh, the pleasures of being a WIS.

True story: Mrs. C, who was known to be a watch lover for some years (until I bought her a Fitbit for Christmas last year, and now it's the only watch she wears) was asked at work by a guy she works with, who had inherited some old watches from his father, if she could bring them home for me to look at. Included was a Cartier that he was pretty sure was fake, but wanted my humble impressions. Mrs. C asked me if that was OK, and I said sure, and a couple of days later she comes home with a Zip-lok bag with a half a dozen watches.

Most of the stuff was honest but cheap fashion stuff, all quartz, none of them really nice (or really bad, like Invicter.) The Cartier looked real enough, but I know fuck all about Cartier, so after a strenuous ten minutes online I realized it was a fake. I emailed what was what about the watches to my wife's company account so she could relay it to the poor guy who now owned about $30 worth of watches.

A couple of days later Mrs. C comes home with two more watches, which she said the "poor" guy asked if I could change the batteries, as they were both dead. Now, I've changed plenty of batteries in the past, mainly for Mrs. C, who owns about seven million quartz watches. I don't really enjoy replacing batteries for schmucks I don't know, but whatever. So she hands me the watches--one was a fake Rolex Datejust two tone, the other a fake Rolex Submariner. These were the real shit fakes, like the kind you can get on the street in New York for twenty bucks. I had to go into the whole fake thing with Mrs. C, explaining that real WISs look at fake buyers as the NAMBLA of the hobby, and asked her to let the stupid fuck at work know I couldn't change the batteries, telling him that I didn't have the right caseback opener.
Cream rises to the top while jackoffs only leave puddles of rancid jizz.

--Temerity, regarding Bazinga!.
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Re: Should You Wear A Fake Watch?

Post by artman » September 5th 2018, 8:57pm

True story: Twenty-sum years ago on my second trip to New York, this really happened.

I walked off the subway with my wife and 2 year old daughter in her stroller. Four large African American men quickly approached me wearing trench coats on a rather hot summer day. The site of these young men approaching me with purpose looked awfully ominous and put me on a defensive posture. I thought to myself, if these guys were to mug me I could get in a enough shots, just so that my wife and baby could get away. "Let's do this" I thought as I planted my back foot ready to strike first and fast.

Fortunately, the four young men weren't thugs, but were businessmen selling knock-off watches concealed under their coats. I was so thankful that we weren't getting mugged that I bought 2 fake Rolexes. One broke after a couple days but the fake Date Just is still chugging along. I never wear it, but it is my favorite souvenir from that vacation.
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