A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

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A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby Horse Feathers » January 13th 2014, 1:52am

Dear Penthouse Forum,

While I’ve been a fan of your Forum letters for decades, I never believed they were real.

I never thought this would happen to me. I’m a middle aged Hospital Administrator with an amazing watch collection including Invicta and my new favorite Sottomarino. One day at the Hospital a beautiful young medical equipment representative stopped by. She knew I was soliciting bids for a new MRI table that some fat ass broke (I hate fucking fat people). We decided to go into a conference room to discuss her products. As she was placing her brochures in front of me I realized she was staring at my bulge. This went on for close to 15 minutes and I finally found the courage to say “do you like what you are seeing”. She giggled a bit and then smiled saying “ I always heard of men wearing massively large watches in an office environment but have never actually seen it”. That day I was wearing my new Sottomarino Orca, Black IP with a white strap. I realized that it was trying to force the mass of its 48mm case from under my monogrammed shirt cuff. I slowly pulled my sleeve up, taunting this young woman until finally my white beast sprung free. She screamed in laughter which I assume was a release for the sexual tension she was feeling. I asked her if she wanted to take it into her hands. She smiled again but quickly tried to bring the conversation back to her brochures. She suggested taking measurements of the room where the table would be installed.

As we were walking down the hall I noticed she was once again fixated on an area of my body. When we arrived at the Radiology room I repeated my earlier question “do you like what you are seeing”. Once again, she giggled a bit, smiled and said “are you wearing Crocs with a suit”. I slowly pulled the leg of my Haband slacks up, teasing this babe until finally my black Crocodylinae lurched. She screamed in laughter which I assume again was a release for the sexual tension she was feeling and then said “and you are wearing white socks”. I explained that I wear socks with all shoes since I was injured in an accident that almost resulted in a loss of my piggy toe. I asked her if she wanted to see it up close and very personal. She smiled but unlike before changed her facial expression to real interest saying “this time, I think….I must…. I have to”. Finally I was getting to second base with her, I began breathing a little heavier myself, not sure it was my excitement or the fact that I was now kneeling down to remove my Croc and sock. To my amazement she asked if she could take a quick photo, this kinky bitch was getting hot and I quickly stammered “yes,yes”. She asked me to lean back so she could completely frame my mangled digit, my Crocs and get this she wanted me to again pull up my sleeve and expose the beast. I have to admit I was getting nervous about how far this would go. After our steamy photo session she smiled and said “thanks, nobody would believe this otherwise”. Sure, it was for others, that photo will be in heavy rotation when she is home and alone at night.

She quickly composed herself smiled and said “I think I’m good for now”. “For now” wow I thought, that sounds like an invitation but where could we go. I remembered I had my vacation home so I suggested that we meet there that evening for dinner and she could see my Summer Croc and watch collection. Again she released her sexual tension by laughing and gathered her things together, she responded “perhaps another time” and leaned over to remove her business card from the brochures she gave me earlier, wow she was really thinking ahead to make sure this stayed private.

I escorted her to the lobby, hastily bid her goodbye and raced to the executive bathroom where I quickly released myself into my warm Purell covered hands.

This tryst has convinced me that what the others say is true, these watches really get you noticed. My forum friends and the helpful sales girl from the Precision Time kiosk at the mall were right, it’s worth the time and the investment to look like a million dollars.

Tomorrow morning I may finally have the confidence to, as the kids say, “chat up” the girl at Dunkin Donuts. But this time the only thing glazed in my hand will be the donut

Charles N.
Last edited by Horse Feathers on June 25th 2014, 1:05pm, edited 6 times in total.
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby jason_recliner » January 13th 2014, 5:04am

Eww.

Thanks, HF.
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby ocean » January 13th 2014, 7:01am

Did she notice that he only had nine toes?
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby eddiea » January 13th 2014, 7:51am

Amazingly .... I’m a middle aged Hospital Administrator, an environment conducive to, say ... a more relaxed moral values and human interaction yet , after years assessing how many Pateks, Audemars, Piagets , Vacherons etc. etc. I have seen (and continue to see) on a daily basis, strapped on Dr's , surgeons and related " friends with benefits", wrists , I have concluded that my collection (modest but decent as always thought it was) is simply put, shit.
It is a very competitive environment , the kind that will prompt a condescended smile from the hot nurse in ICU at your new Ceramic Sub.
I will take an educated guess and say, that in a hospital setting, the chances to get laid even by a leftover, high mileage chick with syphilis, based on a Sottomarino Orca Black IP , are probably zero.
Last edited by eddiea on January 13th 2014, 11:53am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby conjurer » January 13th 2014, 9:40am

That was fucking beautiful, H-F! A superb and searing glimpse into the mind of stupid douchebag motherfucker a poor unfortunate Geek. And, it gave me a new sigline!

Seriously, this made me laugh hard. Well done indeed.
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby Horse Feathers » January 13th 2014, 10:14am

Thanks guys, I realize I was playing to a subset of the audience here. That's a result of being bored on an outage call bridge all night.

Conj, honored to be the source of your sig line and pic if only for a short time. Can scratch that one of the bucket list.
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby catnap » January 13th 2014, 10:29am

Great stuff. To be continued.....!?
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby Luftwafflles » January 13th 2014, 10:30am

I am not a hospital administrator, yet I get gobs of tasty round RN ass. I mostly attribute it to my Sottomasochisto Jake Steed Limited Edition Diver with optional curb feelers. The ladies tell me it gets their starfish extremely moist.
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby Horse Feathers » January 13th 2014, 10:59am

Luftwafflles wrote:I am not a hospital administrator, yet I get gobs of tasty round RN ass. I mostly attribute it to my Sottomasochisto Jake Steed Limited Edition Diver with optional curb feelers. The ladies tell me it gets their starfish extremely moist.


Starfish ?

What a coincidence

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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby Falstaff » January 13th 2014, 2:38pm

az a riche an hansom Brayne Sergin, i git to poke my peanus in dam neer enything that i want two, butt i fynd that iff i ware a Invicter wartch the Are-ens wil akshully fite wun unuther fore the privlige of excepting my riche an hansom Mimbur intwo thare twats or wharever.

this is true an unsullisitid testicalmoneyal about the grateness an sexuwil attrakshin of Invicter wartchis upon the Feemayle race.
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby Horse Feathers » January 13th 2014, 5:30pm

catnap wrote:Great stuff. To be continued.....!?


Perhaps in the future.

I think this WG member may have been one of the lesser known here

I'll make the next letter from a true WG ;)
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby conjurer » January 13th 2014, 5:47pm

Horse Feathers wrote:
catnap wrote:Great stuff. To be continued.....!?


Perhaps in the future.

I think this WG member may have been one of the lesser known here

I'll make the next letter from a true WG ;)


Poppycock! Charles Ninetoes is revered the world over as a True Geek; also, he has the advantage of being the butt of scorn without having to resort to Geek Speak.
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby biglove » January 13th 2014, 10:04pm

HF, you have missed your true calling.

Awesome!
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby Mortuus » January 13th 2014, 10:11pm

I feel very bad for him, because that sales lady all but offered him her fish sammich, then balked when he wanted to add his pickle to the mix. Another sad, lonely and middle-aged hospital administrator, stuck in the rut of a pussyless existence...they'll probably find his lifeless body, bent over a vintage Penthouse fuckmag, his Purell-whitened fist still holding onto his no-longer ropey-veined, now flaccid bonar. **SNIFF-SNIFF** :cry:
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby conjurer » January 13th 2014, 11:43pm

For all the newbies and those who Don't Fucking Pay Attention, the backstory on Charles Ninetoes is this:

For what seemed like an interminable period of time at BDWF, Charles 9-er (aka MBA19-something) was a member, then not a member, then a member again, then he quit, then he joined up again, then he quit. He was convinced that a certain admin there was out to get him--this at BDWF, mind, which is as white-shoe a forum as you can find in this hobby--even though there was no real evidence of this.

Anyway, leading to one of Chuck's many self-deportations, he had posted a Woe Is Me thread there regarding an terrible injury to one of his toes. He did go on about how mangled his toe was, and he might well lose it. Naturally, this didn't go over well, especially as this was back when the war in Iraq was in full cry and we were seeing thousands of young Americans coming home sans limbs, due to IEDs and whatnot. More than a few members chimed in, basically telling Chuck to man-the-fuck-up, one can get by pretty easily with nine toes, etc. Anyway, Chuck took off for six months or so.

Then he came back and stuck around for awhile, mainly posting pics of his Sottomarino-whatever-the-fuck watches they were that he bought from Precision Time. A bit later I posted the screen shot I took of Michael Davis, looking dissipated and drunk, under the thread heading of "ShopNBC, Now On HDTV!" Chuck was upset by that, and started to defend Mongo. Now, this is something you don't really do at a watch forum, unless it's WatchGeeks--even the mild-mannered members at BDWF, who hate Mongo as much as we do, although they tend to have a superego that filters things, told Chuck to fuck himself, Mongo is a loser, a drunk, a felon, and so forth. Chuck got pissed and left again.

Anyway, that's the backstory, as they say in Hollywood.
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby Horse Feathers » January 13th 2014, 11:47pm

^ Nice summary Conj.

May I add that Chuck did share that he was pissed when a fat patient broke a piece of hospital equipment
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby conjurer » January 14th 2014, 12:09am

Horse Feathers wrote:^ Nice summary Conj.

May I add that Chuck did share that he was pissed when a fat patient broke a piece of hospital equipment


Ah, yes, I totally forgot about that one. Chuck did indeed share at BDWF about this incident. Chuck made a big deal (pardon the pun) about those among us who are pretty obese destroying Valuable Hospital Equipment because of their large girth. Now, apart from those of us here with willowy-frames, like Bedlam, Jason_Recliner and AJC, most of us who enjoy this hobby tend to the husky size. This didn't go over well with the members at BDWF, who are of a Certain Age and don't look like the lead singer of Loverboy in his prime.

Yet another less-than-endearing thing about Chuck was his disdain of those who spent more than, I don't know, maybe twenty-five bucks on a watch. The very thought horrified him. This from a guy who owns a beach house on the shore someplace in fucking Maine--where beach houses might be very cheap, as far as I know. Now, I'll never put down another member who spends a small amount on a watch--as opposed to a wartch--nor do I huff and puff about some guy who lays out a ton of jack for a Tudor or a Rollie or a Panny. We are not, after all, Communists.

Thanks for bringing this up, H-F!
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby Horse Feathers » January 14th 2014, 12:17am

conjurer wrote:Yet another less-than-endearing thing about Chuck was his disdain of those who spent more than, I don't know, maybe twenty-five bucks on a watch. The very thought horrified him.


Fact, as an example the Sottomarino Orca (the white beast) mentioned in my story

He was thrilled that it cost him $19.65 shipped ( he has many others)

His actual wrist shot (I made it Black IP for the story :D )

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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby conjurer » January 14th 2014, 12:21am

Horse Feathers wrote:
conjurer wrote:Yet another less-than-endearing thing about Chuck was his disdain of those who spent more than, I don't know, maybe twenty-five bucks on a watch. The very thought horrified him.


Fact, as an example the Sottomarino Orca (the white beast) mentioned in my story

He was thrilled that it cost him $19.65 shipped ( he has many others)

His actual wrist shot (I made it Black IP for the story :D )

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Jesus Christ, what a beautiful wartch!!
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby Mortuus » January 14th 2014, 1:27am

Which reminds me...I could go for a nice sottomarino panino right about now...

Hey! I just got off eBay, and they're selling Sortamoron-o's for 75 bones! They're saying the Orca (AKA the Oprah) is rare and shit...I wonder if ninetoes is jumping on this and selling at a hi-yooodge profit...?
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby biglove » January 14th 2014, 7:23am

Many thanks for the entertaining history of Mr. Ninetoes!

Have been to Maine. Beach houses are not cheap there. Maybe he could afford it because he only bought $25 wartches? Sounds like a character who earned his nickname!
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby catnap » January 14th 2014, 11:37am

Yes, thanks for bringing us up to scratch. Fuck Chuck.
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby Mark1 » January 14th 2014, 6:12pm

Thanks for the backstory on Chucky 9 digits, Conjurer. I was surprised recently to learn the identity of Ninetoez. I had traded a few PMs years ago with the guy at the other forum, over what I don't recall. I do recall being left a little mystified, it makes more sense now.
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby conjurer » January 14th 2014, 11:18pm

Mark1 wrote:Thanks for the backstory on Chucky 9 digits, Conjurer. I was surprised recently to learn the identity of Ninetoez. I had traded a few PMs years ago with the guy at the other forum, over what I don't recall. I do recall being left a little mystified, it makes more sense now.


I myself wasted a lot of my life PMing with Chuck, Mark1. No harm there. He has a long history of victimhood.
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Re: A Watch Geeks Letter to Penthouse Forum

Postby Mortuus » January 15th 2014, 12:25am

Really, a mafia-esque name like 'Charlie Nine-Toes' is too good for this dude...maybe you should call him Charlie Mush-Toe or Chuckie Limp Digit, or some such thing...?
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