Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby koimaster » February 4th 2011, 9:12am

So you've got a troll. Congratulations!! Once you've properly bonded with your troll, you may wonder:

•How do I care for my troll?
•Can my troll learn good manners?
•What should I feed my troll?


Well, don't worry! These and other questions about enjoying your new troll will be answered in this article. Read on!



What's a Troll?

A troll is a small, brutish creature with a loud, piercing howl. They tend to be found mostly around forums and some chatrooms, but they've been spotted once in awhile at Watchlords.

Contrary to popular belief, the troll is not an entirely aggressive species. When properly fed and socialized, most trolls are docile, fragile beings as long as they aren't overfed or startled.

Trolls tend to vary in size and stature, but one can usually spot a troll by a few identifying features. First, trolls are generally pale creatures with cramped fingers, which are often seen clenched up into little fists from hours of furious typing. Also note that the troll's teeth are dull, and their claws are typically benign.

The troll's aggressive reputation comes from it's ability to spout an acrid flaming venom, sometimes painful enough to send the troll's prey running away in tears. Though your troll's flaming venom can be potentially painful, it's generally harmless in small doses.

It is also important to note for the health of your troll that most trolls are terribly sensitive to light. It's best to gradually introduce your troll to sunshine. Too much light at once can provoke a troll to attack or run away. A few, more intelligent trolls may be receptive to your light, which is a good sign that a troll may be ready for advanced socialization from you.



Troll Feeding & Dietary Needs


It was once believed that a troll's diet consisted mainly of attention, but one should not forget that the troll will also seek out your frustration and annoyance for nourishment.

In truth, the proper portion of attention isn't bad for a troll, but feeding a troll with your irritation may result in aggression from your troll. Trolls have a naturally dull sense of humor, which is how they digest their meals. Feeding frustration to your troll will upset the troll's soft belly, and it could produce negative results. Don't give in no matter how much a troll begs for your frustration. Instead, always approach your troll with calm, assertive energy.

Understand that your troll gets its nourishment from the surrounding environment. Small, snack-sized portions of attention should be used only as rewards for your troll's good behavior. Never let your troll see you holding onto any frustration, or your troll may become aggressive.



Troll Intelligence


Though the troll is a social creature, it is important to realize that your troll can't actually understand much of what you say until after it has been properly socialized. Should you wish to communicate with your troll, start with small words in short sentences or phrases.

Some trolls are unable to understand anything very well even after many patient attempts. Don't feel bad; it's not your fault. Some trolls are born with naturally small brains, and medical science has yet to discover a way to correct this genetic flaw. With any luck, this trait will hopefully fade as the species evolves and adapts, allowing easier communication with future generations of trolls.



Troll Socialization & Training


Before you can train your troll, you must first understand some simple troll psychology. Trolls are easily provoked. Without patience, you may find it impossible to properly socialize your troll.

Begin with soft coos and gentle encouragement. Try telling your troll that you don't want any trouble, that you mean no harm. Don't overwhelm your troll with too many words. Let your troll try to communicate back to you. Indeed, many have discovered through this technique that their troll was not actually a troll. (It should be noted that it's common to mistake a person having a bad day for a troll.) If this is indeed a troll, expect some difficulty, but don't let the troll even smell your annoyance.

Over time, if you remain gentle and firm, you and your troll may come to understand each other. If your troll proves to be docile, you may begin training with your own techniques, following up with positive reinforcement of snack-sized attention, and remembering to avoid feeding your troll any frustration.

With patience, encouragement, and gradual sunshine, you and your troll may be set for a long and satisfying relationship without any fear of your troll attacking your friends or flaming your comments.



Troll Troubleshooting


If these tips fail to help your relationship with your troll blossom into a beautiful experience, don't fret! Though it may be difficult to accept, there is a humane alternative to dealing with a troll that has become too aggressive for its own good. Before you resort to this method, I hope that you will have tried all the other suggestions above.

Experts seem to agree that the best way to make a troll vanish is to ignore it. Depriving it of all attention and frustration will starve your troll, and it will usually move on in search of a better food source.

If your troll won't leave, report your troll. FAQ #238: How do I report people for abuse, harassment, or another issue I may think is a violation? It's best not to provoke your troll by announcing your plans. Just quietly file the report with a link to your troll's aggressive behavior, and the proper authorities will remove your troll from sight. Wash away any residual guilt or frustration with a nice piece of chocolate.



_____________________________________

Cyber Bullies: It should be noted that in rare cases a troll may evolve into a cyber bully, which is a species in its own classification with much sharper claws and hideous, jagged teeth. While trolls generally just want to get a rise out of you, cyber bullies can be a serious threat and should always be immediately reported. (See section on troubleshooting.) Examples of cyberbullie behavior include bragging about how big their watches are, how large the company they started is, their connections to so called Tv hosts and Brand Managers, telling you they never had problems with cheap watches so shut up and calling you a troll.
Image

1946-2006

“Your heart was warm and happy

With the lilt of Irish laughter

Every day and in every way

Now forever and ever after."
User avatar
koimaster
Administrator/Founder
 
Posts: 32963
Joined: December 16th 2009, 11:00pm
Location: Oregon

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby Guest » February 4th 2011, 12:35pm

A gem
User avatar
Guest
 

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby eddiea » February 4th 2011, 4:20pm

Indeed a gem Image that been said...fuck trolls.
eddiea
Founding Member & Master of Time
 
Posts: 10669
Joined: December 25th 2009, 11:00pm

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby boscoe » February 4th 2011, 5:26pm

eddiea wrote:Indeed a gem Image that been said...fuck trolls.


Never, ever fuck a troll. The unholy mating between a troll and a horologist creates:


:lizard:
User avatar
boscoe
ASSHAT
 
Posts: 9651
Joined: March 31st 2010, 10:00pm

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby Guest » February 4th 2011, 7:19pm

boscoe wrote:
eddiea wrote:Indeed a gem Image that been said...fuck trolls.


Never, ever fuck a troll. The unholy mating between a troll and a horologist creates:


:lizard:



ROFLMAO!!!
User avatar
Guest
 

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby fatman » July 13th 2011, 7:59am

boscoe wrote:
eddiea wrote:Indeed a gem Image that been said...fuck trolls.


Never, ever fuck a troll. The unholy mating between a troll and a horologist creates:


:lizard:


The pug strikes again.....
HF
User avatar
fatman
ASSHAT
 
Posts: 4380
Joined: February 7th 2011, 11:00pm

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby 32771 » July 13th 2011, 1:05pm

Troll HATERS !
User avatar
32771
Senior Member & WIS
 
Posts: 706
Joined: September 4th 2010, 10:00pm

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby CA Crew » July 13th 2011, 6:44pm

Raising my hand as guilty of most of the above, if not all, re: JtN. I apologize for the consequences for WL of breathing more life into him and am back to ignoring him.
CA Crew
Senior Member & WIS
 
Posts: 579
Joined: September 8th 2010, 10:00pm

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby JtN© » July 14th 2011, 5:09am

CA Crew wrote:Raising my hand as guilty of most of the above, if not all, re: JtN. I apologize for the consequences for WL of breathing more life into him and am back to ignoring him.


JtN©
Senior Member & WIS
 
Posts: 843
Joined: June 14th 2010, 10:00pm

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby koimaster » July 14th 2011, 6:26am

Act like a troll on this forum and you get designated as one in bright orange which also matches many prison jump suit colors.
Image

1946-2006

“Your heart was warm and happy

With the lilt of Irish laughter

Every day and in every way

Now forever and ever after."
User avatar
koimaster
Administrator/Founder
 
Posts: 32963
Joined: December 16th 2009, 11:00pm
Location: Oregon

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby Seattle » April 24th 2012, 6:59am

Koi,
What are the color designations again?



koimaster wrote:Act like a troll on this forum and you get designated as one in bright orange which also matches many prison jump suit colors.
User avatar
Seattle
Senior Member & WIS
 
Posts: 2622
Joined: September 5th 2010, 10:00pm

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby koimaster » April 24th 2012, 7:06am

Seattle wrote:Koi,
What are the color designations again?

See bottom of home page.



koimaster wrote:Act like a troll on this forum and you get designated as one in bright orange which also matches many prison jump suit colors.
Image

1946-2006

“Your heart was warm and happy

With the lilt of Irish laughter

Every day and in every way

Now forever and ever after."
User avatar
koimaster
Administrator/Founder
 
Posts: 32963
Joined: December 16th 2009, 11:00pm
Location: Oregon

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby Seattle » April 24th 2012, 8:07am

Thanks!

koimaster wrote:
Seattle wrote:Koi,
What are the color designations again?

See bottom of home page.



koimaster wrote:Act like a troll on this forum and you get designated as one in bright orange which also matches many prison jump suit colors.
User avatar
Seattle
Senior Member & WIS
 
Posts: 2622
Joined: September 5th 2010, 10:00pm

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby ocean » December 31st 2012, 6:49pm

I forgot this one, applies today more than ever lot of them running around here.
To disarm the people is the best and most effective way to enslave them. George Mason
User avatar
ocean
Master of Time
 
Posts: 2918
Joined: June 12th 2011, 10:00pm
Location: Daytona Beach

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby koimaster » December 31st 2012, 6:51pm

Housecleaning starts in a couple of days.
Image

1946-2006

“Your heart was warm and happy

With the lilt of Irish laughter

Every day and in every way

Now forever and ever after."
User avatar
koimaster
Administrator/Founder
 
Posts: 32963
Joined: December 16th 2009, 11:00pm
Location: Oregon

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby codguy » December 31st 2012, 7:34pm

koimaster wrote:Housecleaning starts in a couple of days.


Image
.



Image
User avatar
codguy
ASSHAT
 
Posts: 5261
Joined: June 9th 2011, 10:00pm

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby Horse Feathers » December 31st 2012, 7:40pm

It enjoyable to have an occasional victim to feast upon but this latest wave has been a bust. Idiotic posts, no real defense and their attempts at humor are weak at best.

Clean baby clean !
Image

"I did lose a pusher pulling it out of the mug however
it doesn't affect functionality"

- JR of Reclinervision ™
User avatar
Horse Feathers
ASSHAT
 
Posts: 9282
Joined: August 29th 2010, 10:00pm

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby conjurer » December 31st 2012, 8:47pm

Horse Feathers wrote:It enjoyable to have an occasional victim to feast upon but this latest wave has been a bust. Idiotic posts, no real defense and their attempts at humor are weak at best.

Clean baby clean !


Quite so. Johny's been the only one with any balls, and he's either batshit crazy or a mean drunk. Possibly both.
Johannes! My knees are trembling from banging her so hard with my rod!

Image
User avatar
conjurer
ASSHAT & Master of Time
 
Posts: 25309
Joined: July 13th 2010, 10:00pm

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby koimaster » January 21st 2013, 7:41am

I want to point out that there are some here who act just as badly as do trolls such as Nismo, Viper or the watercooler crowd.

Being a member here does not allow you to become a troll or a bully. I just wanted to remind members of that.
Image

1946-2006

“Your heart was warm and happy

With the lilt of Irish laughter

Every day and in every way

Now forever and ever after."
User avatar
koimaster
Administrator/Founder
 
Posts: 32963
Joined: December 16th 2009, 11:00pm
Location: Oregon

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby conjurer » January 21st 2013, 7:47am

koimaster wrote:I want to point out that there are some here who act just as badly as do trolls such as Nismo, Viper or the watercooler crowd.

Being a member here does not allow you to become a troll or a bully. I just wanted to remind members of that.


Quite so. Also, it would be helpful if a member here recommends us to a pal lets us know ahead of time. For instance, if AJC were to recommend his pastor or priest to become a member here and let us know, I'd drop my "goddamn it!" from my welcome post out if respect. A little self-restraint would be good as well.
Johannes! My knees are trembling from banging her so hard with my rod!

Image
User avatar
conjurer
ASSHAT & Master of Time
 
Posts: 25309
Joined: July 13th 2010, 10:00pm

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby tomsimac » January 21st 2013, 8:03am

Just when you think they have gone they start PM'ing with their "I'm still here lurking"
Luckily I found the Ignore button where Foe resides

User avatar
tomsimac
Senior Member & WIS
 
Posts: 799
Joined: October 16th 2011, 10:00pm
Location: So. California

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby AJC » January 21st 2013, 6:57pm

conjurer wrote:
koimaster wrote:I want to point out that there are some here who act just as badly as do trolls such as Nismo, Viper or the watercooler crowd.

Being a member here does not allow you to become a troll or a bully. I just wanted to remind members of that.


Quite so. Also, it would be helpful if a member here recommends us to a pal lets us know ahead of time. For instance, if AJC were to recommend his pastor or priest to become a member here and let us know, I'd drop my "goddamn it!" from my welcome post out if respect. A little self-restraint would be good as well.


I can go to a church and try and convince whoever the guy is there that he should join, but I don't know how he would react to the first pineapple up the peehole.
-Madvillian
User avatar
AJC
Watchlord WIS
 
Posts: 6101
Joined: May 14th 2012, 10:00pm
Location: Wilmington, DE AKA "Murdertown, USA" -Newsweek

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby koimaster » March 5th 2013, 8:58am

Watchgeeks!

:forumm:
Image

1946-2006

“Your heart was warm and happy

With the lilt of Irish laughter

Every day and in every way

Now forever and ever after."
User avatar
koimaster
Administrator/Founder
 
Posts: 32963
Joined: December 16th 2009, 11:00pm
Location: Oregon

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby eddiea » March 5th 2013, 9:33am

koimaster wrote:Watchgeeks!

:forumm:

Are they actually still around?
eddiea
Founding Member & Master of Time
 
Posts: 10669
Joined: December 25th 2009, 11:00pm

Re: Trolls: Proper Care & Feeding

Postby biglove » May 11th 2014, 6:38pm

Bump.

I am guilty of showering attention and frustration. My apologies.
"Adults are obsolete children."-Dr. Seuss
Image
User avatar
biglove
Watchlord WIS
 
Posts: 10680
Joined: October 27th 2013, 9:18am
Location: Deep South

Next

Return to General Watch talk

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Hawk, Pubbie and 6 guests